If You Could See Me Now
by CharmingAndInsane
Summary: Bella's son has an imaginary friend called Edward. Bella needs a friend. What will happen when she meets someone called Edward who looks A LOT like the guy in the picture her son drew of himself and his "friend." Is it just coincidence. Full summary insid
1. Chapter 1

**If You Could See Me Now**

_Disclaimer: I do not own Twilight._

**A/N: Okay so I got the idea from Cecelia Ahern's book "If You Could See Me Now." I thought it would be a great idea for a Twilight fanfic.  
Bella has a son called Cormac. One day he starts talking to someone called Edward, but Bella can't see him. He's an imaginary friend. Bella herself is lonely. Her father became an alcoholic after her mother's death, and her sister is flighty and reckless. Finding herself in the need of a friend, she suddenly meets a young man called Edward who is remarkably like Cormac's description of his 'friend,' Edward. Is it just a coincidence or is he really imaginary?**

**_Chapter 1: Making Friends._**

**Epov**

I walked along the road, feeling a presence pulling me towards them. That's how I make new friends, I feel drawn towards them. Well, actually, their need for me, for a friend, is what pulls me to them. Children were playing on the street. Some were dashing across the road on roller-blades; others were playing with dolls outside or having little tea-parties.

All the houses on this housing estate were the same. Large two story buildings with the same boring white walls outside. The gardens were large with a stonewall around each one, separating each garden from the next.

I came to a stop outside the last house on the street. This is it. This is the house. It was different from the others. It had the same white walls but had a porch going the entire way around the house. In front of a large window, there was a swing-chair. The door was painted a bright red and had two small panes of glass in it. Underneath were a knocker and a letterbox. It looked like a face smiling back at me. I couldn't help but wave at it.

"Who are you waving at?" a small boy around six years of age asked me. He had brown, curly hair and dark brown eyes. His complexion was pale and a slight frame. He looked strangely familiar.

"I'm waving at the door." I smiled at him, my crooked grin. I made a silly face at the door, hoping to make the boy laugh.

I succeeded. His laugh sounded like tiny bells chiming and was extremely infectious. He was rolling on the ground giggling.

"Why"—gasp—"are"—gasp—"you waving"—gasp—"at the"—gasp—"door?"

"I'm waving at the door because it looks like a smiley face, obviously. Duh!" I rolled my eyes but smiled down at him. I didn't want to sound mean. I wanted to be his friend.

"Oh!" The boy looked at me, confused at first and then just shrugged his shoulders. "You're kinda weird."

I laughed, and he joined in. "Yeah, I know. But normal people scare me. You don't want to be boring. You want to stand out, make your mark on this world."

"Yeah, I don't want to be boring. My mom is boring. I love her lots, but she doesn't like fun." His little face scrunched up into a frown.

"All grown-ups are boring."

"But aren't you a grown-up?" he asked.

"I am, but I'm old enough to know that you don't have to be boring. So I'm not. What's your name anyway?"

He hesitated. This is the worst part about making new friends. You could have a nice conversation with them, but once it came to introductions, they wouldn't answer. It showed that they weren't ready for my help yet. They needed it but they just weren't ready for it.

So I'd stick around until they were ready.

"My name's Cormac." He smiled a toothy grin at me. One of his front teeth were missing.

"My name is Edward." I smiled back at him. This was great. He wanted to be my friend. "Is that your ball?"

"Yep. You wanna play?"

"YEAH! Soccer is by far my favorite. My old friend Tom and I used to play all the time."

"Is that Tom Newton?" he asked.

"It is indeed." I smiled. I wonder how he knew my old friend Tom.

"I'm in his class at school."

Wait! That's right. Cormac. Cormac Swan in Tom's class. He used to talk about Cormac all the time. I used to see Cormac at Tom's school whenever I would go with him. That's why he was so familiar.

"Oh, I know you now. I used to see you at school with Tom."

He looked confused again. "But, I never saw you there."

"Well, of course you didn't, silly. Not everyone can see me. Tom needed me, so he could see me, but now he doesn't need me, so I disappear."

That's the hardest part of my job – leaving my new friends.

He nodded in understanding. Kids are more understanding than adults are. It's amazing how much their bright little minds could take in. We kicked around the ball for a few minutes when we heard a shrill scream come from indoors.

"AAAAAAGGGHH! ROSE, YOU WILL BE THE DEATH OF ME!" I heard the woman cry.

Before I knew it, a gorgeous, blonde-haired woman was walking out from the house. She was wearing a miniscule skirt that could hardly be called a belt, never mind a skirt. Her top was bright and sparkly and very revealing. To top it off, she was prancing about in killer heels. She turned to us and waved at Cormac.

"See ya later Mac. Don't be giving Mommy a hard time." She winked and got in the car parked outside the house. She turned the key, but it wouldn't start.

"Who's that?" I asked.

"That's my aunt Rose. She and Mom don't get along very well." He seemed almost about to cry.

A moment later, the most beautiful woman in the world came outside. She was carrying a phone in her hand and wearing a black trouser-suit. Her hair was pulled back into a tight bun at the back of her head. She was wearing matching heels, but as she walked down the steps from the door, she tripped.

"Shit!" she screamed. Rose laughed.

"Rosalie Lillian Hale, get out of my car. RIGHT NOW! I will not be asking again," she croaked, her voice hoarse from screaming.

"You don't need to ask again. Piece of shit doesn't work anyway," Rose replied. She got out of the car and walked back into the house. As she passed the woman in the black suit, she asked for money for a cab. Surprisingly the woman gave it to her.

"Thanks sis, I appreciate it. I'll pay you back soon."

The brown-haired woman just rolled her eyes and seemed to be muttering to herself.

"Who's the lady with the brown hair?" I asked Cormac.

"That's Bella. My mom."

His mom? Now that I think about it, there's no mistaking that he's her son. He's the image of her. Same dark hair and brown eyes. Same pale complexion and slight frame. I felt a weird feeling in the pit of my stomach when I saw her or when I even thought about her. How very strange?

I felt a stronger pull towards her but that couldn't be possible. No grown up has ever needed my help before. I help children. Grownups are Esme's category, and even then, it's those that are dying that need her help. Grownups are just too narrow-minded to see me. They only believe in what they see before them. If they really, I mean really opened their eyes and believed, then they would see me. Not only me, but all of us. The entire gang, Esme, Carlisle, Emmett, Jacob, Emily, Leah, Kim, and me of course.

No offense to Bella, but I didn't think she was the kind to believe in 'imaginary friends,' so I couldn't figure out why I felt this pull towards her. I still felt the pull towards Cormac, but it wasn't as strong as Bella's. This was really weird. I've never had to help out two friends at one time. I also had no idea whatsoever of how I was supposed to help Bella when she couldn't even see me. I would need to talk to Carlisle about this.

I had a feeling that my time with Cormac was going to be very… interesting.

**A/N I hope you like it. Let me know if I should continue. If you have any questions then feel free to ask.**

**R&R**

**Helen =]**


	2. Mom this is Edward

**If You Could See Me Now**

_Disclaimer: I do not own Twilight._

**A/N I noticed that in chapter 2 I said Bella was a teacher and then in chapter 3 she works in an Art Gallery so I changed that one little bit in this chapter. To clarify she works in the Art Gallery. Sorry if any of you were confused.**

**_Chapter 2: Mom this is Edward._**

**Bpov**

I woke up this morning. I showered in my spotless bathroom. I dressed in my respectable trouser-suit and went to wake up Cormac. He was lying fast asleep in his bed. The covers kicked off and his hair tousled. The room was messy. His closet was lying open with clothes hanging of the hangers. His toys were spread all over the floor and there was also dirty clothes lying on the floor. I didn't understand how such a small person could make such a huge mess. A shiver went up my spine as I examined his room. It was the only room in the house that I allow to be untidy.

The rest is spotless. I need order and tranquility in my life, and with an unreliable sister and a father who drinks too much, there isn't much of that. I'm the Display Manager at The Port Angeles Art Gallery so I have a certain amount of control there. My home is the only place where I have total control.

My home is my sanctuary. It's the one place I have total control over. I can decide what I want to happen. What I say goes. I bet I sound like a control freak. I'm not. I just like things to be tidy and to have a certain order.

"Cormac! It's time to get up. You're Aunt Rosalie might be visiting us today." I said 'might' because the last three times she said she would visit, she made no appearance. The last time, I had to bail her out of jail for being aggressive to someone on the street.

He mumbled a response and turned over in bed.

"Cormac get that lazy butt of yours out of bed. Now!" I said, a little harsher that intended.

"Mmm-kay, Mom," he muttered sleepily and rolled out of bed.

"_Okay,_ Mom." I corrected him.

I entered my stainless steel kitchen and started on Cormac's breakfast. I was pouring him a bowl of Coco Pops when out of the corner of my eye, I saw the dishcloth hanging askew from the handle of the oven door. It irritated me to no end. I left his breakfast and quickly fixed it up. I ensured it was folded directly in half and placed it carefully over the handle of the oven door again.

I heard footsteps make their way down the stairs and soon after, Cormac entered.

"Good morning, Mom," he said sleepily.

"Good morning, Cormac," I replied and bent down to kiss him quickly on the cheek. I finished preparing his breakfast and placed it in front of him.

I put on the coffee machine and got ready to make myself a relaxing cup of coffee when the doorbell rang. I went to answer it and was shocked to find my sister standing there.

_She actually decided to show up today._

I looked at her and was disgusted by what she was wearing - a bright pink top with so many sequins, it made my head hurt looking at them. Her skirt was so short it could barely be called a belt. It left little to the imagination. Then when I looked at her shoes, I felt myself get a headache – 5-inch stiletto heels.

"Heya, Bells. How are you? I've come to see my nephew," she said and walked past me. I closed the door and followed.

"HEY MAC!" she yelled as she entered the kitchen. "Come here and give your favorite aunt a hug."

"Hi, Aunt Rosalie," he replied and hugged her.

She released him and turned to me. "Okay I've seen him. Now I need to talk to you, little sis."

I had a fair idea that she would be needing money and we would most definitely end up fighting. I didn't want Cormac to see that.

"Cormac, hurry up and finish your breakfast. It's a nice day so why don't you go outside when you've finished. Your aunt and I need to talk."

He hurried his breakfast and went out to the garden. There were many people playing outside, maybe Cormac would join in and play with them. He's not great at making new friends and the one friend he does have, Tom Newton, doesn't live on the estate.

"What do you want, Rosalie?" I asked. I may as well cut to the chase. No beating around the bush.

"Well I've lost my job," she replied.

"Why am I not surprised?" I asked sarcastically.

"Hey, Bella, there's no need to be a bitch. They don't understand me at that place. I mean how am I supposed to work with _ugly _people?"

How can she be so shallow? I sometimes cannot believe we were born from the same person.

"Ugly people? What is wrong with you? What makes you decide who is ugly and who isn't?"

"Well everyone is ugly compared to me, Bella." She laughed as if it was the most obvious thing in the world.

"Whatever, Rosalie. How are you going to pay your rent if you've no money?"

"Easy, little sis. I've come to borrow from you."

"NO!" I shouted.

"But Bella!" she whined. "Mrs. Clearwater said she'll throw me out if I don't get it paid and you know dad won't let me stay. I know there's no point in asking you if I can stay because you won't let me either."

She had a point. I did not want her here because of Cormac. Dad can barely look after himself, never mind two people. When he is sober, he spends his entire time giving out about his daughters. Nothing we do is ever good enough. I remember when I split up with Cormac's father, I went to see dad, hoping he'd comfort me. Instead I got hurt by his cruel words.

_"What did you do to drive him away this time Bella? Did you nag at him until he upped and left? Did you drive him away with your irritating obsession with tidying thing? You always manage to do that don't you, Bella? They never do stay." _

That's what he had said to me. It still hurt but he was right. I always do drive them away.

Rose couldn't stay with us either because I would be scared that she'd be a bad influence on Cormac. I also feared that she would leave my lovely neat house in disarray. I looked out the window and saw him playing ball in the garden. He seemed so happy and was laughing really hard. It brought a smile to my face.

"Fine." I grabbed my purse and stuffed a wad of cash in her hand. I hoped that would be enough.

"Oh yeah, by the way, I crashed my car and it needs to be fixed. Since I've no insurance, I told them to charge it to you. I hope you don't mind. I'm also going to need to borrow your car for a few days," she said hastily before rushing out the door.

I felt this rage bubble up inside. How dare she? I will not be taken for granted. I know that I nearly always – okay, always – help her out, but I would like to have the choice in the matter. You never know, some of these days I might build up the courage to tell her no.

She ran out the door. I grabbed the phone, ready to call the cops if need be and followed her outside.

"AAAAAAGGGHH! ROSE YOU WILL BE THE DEATH OF ME!" I screamed at her.

She turned back to me and smirked before waving at Cormac in the garden.

"See ya later Mac. Don't be giving mommy a hard time." She winked and got in the car parked outside the house. She turned the key but it wouldn't start.

I ran down the stairs but my shoe got caught and I tripped.

"SSSSHHHHHHHHIIIIIIITTTTTTTTTT!" I screamed. Rosalie laughed.

"Rosalie Lillian Hale, get out of my car. RIGHT NOW! I will not be asking again," I yelled. My voice was hoarse from all my screaming.

"You don't need to ask again. Piece of shit don't work anyway," she replied. She got out of the car. Thank goodness. My car would be okay although I'll need to check out why it didn't start.

She passed me, but before she went back inside, she asked me for more money.

"Bella, since your car doesn't work, I'm going to need money for a cab. Would you care to fund that for me?" she asked holding out her hand.

I reached my hand into my purse and gave her some more money.

"I don't want to, but I have to. It's not like I have any choice in the matter," I muttered under my breath.

"Thanks, sis. I appreciate it. I'll pay you back soon." She skipped into the house to call the cab.

I rolled my eyes at her.

"Yeah, sure you will. It's not like I haven't heard that before," I muttered, to myself again. Hmmm, maybe I should get that checked out. My mother used to say that talking to yourself was the first sign of madness.

After Rosalie, I went inside. I was extremely tired after this morning's events. I went back into my kitchen and saw my coffee machine. I hadn't even had time to have my morning coffee. I made it and sat down in the window seat of my conservatory.

I breathed in the aromatic smell of my coffee before tasting it. My cold palms cupped the warm coffee mug. I held the cup to my lips before taking a sip. The liquid ran down my throat, heating my entire body. I relished the bitter taste and all my stress melted away.

I relaxed into my seat and slowly drank my coffee.

Once I had finished, Cormac came in from outside, dragging his dirty feet behind him. I winced at the dirt coming off them.

"Cormac, please! Please take your dirty shoes off outside." I said to him and pinched the bridge of my nose.

"Yes, Mom," he said and took them off.

"We're going to play in my room okay?"

"Okay. I'll call you later for lunch."

My relaxed state had vanished as soon as Cormac entered, and I was so preoccupied about thinking about Rosalie that I barely heard what he said.

I busied myself by hovering and doing the washing. I tidied my kitchen and arranged everything neatly. I finished the downstairs before I moved upstairs. I went into my room and started cleaning. Halfway through, I stopped. I felt as if somebody was watching me. I turned to the door but nobody was there.

By the time I'd finished cleaning, it was time for lunch.

"Cormac?" I called as I walked into his room. "What do you want for lunch?"

He was silent and his face was turned to the corner.

"Edward says that he would like a sandwich, so I want the same."

"Who's Edward?" I asked, confused.

"He's my friend."

"Well where is he?"

His face scrunched up in confusion.

"Um ... he's right over there." He pointed to the corner.

"No he's not. There's nobody there."

He had an imaginary friend and I needed to stop this before it got out of hand. He was looking at me, his eyes watering, begging me to play along. Begging me to forget the rules and just let loose. He wanted me to do something fun for the first time in a long time.

"Cormac. There is nobody there. I will call you when your sandwich is ready." My tone of voice indicated that this conversation was over.

I went downstairs, and while making his chicken sandwich, I pulled out my laptop and did some research. The experts said that I should just play along. They said that most "friends" leave after three months. That was a relief. I think I could manage to live with this "Edward" for a little while.

I went upstairs and told him his lunch was ready. I could've called him from downstairs but I do not tolerate yelling in my house.

I pulled out three placemats and set the table. This was such a waste of food, making three sandwiches for two people. Neither Cormac nor myself had a large appetite, so the sandwich would most likely go to waste.

Cormac came downstairs and I watched him pat to the seat next to him.

"Edward says chicken is by far his favorite."

"Well isn't that good for him." I forced a smile on my face before turning away.

I listened to him having a whispered conversation with this "Edward."

I sat down and watched the empty chair in front of me. I don't why I bothered making the extra food. It was only going to sit there.

I decided to take advice from my research and started a conversation with "Edward."

"So … Edward." I managed to choke out. "Where are you from?" I asked, looking at the empty chair.

Cormac laughed at something.

"What? What's so funny?"

"You mean you can't hear him either?" he asked in disbelief.

"No, obviously not," I said.

"He said he's from Ekam Eveileb."

_Where the hell is that? I've never heard of it._

"Really?" I replied. Thankfully, I was saved by the phone ringing. I answered it, and when I hung up, I went back into the kitchen.

The only sandwich left was my half-eaten one. Where did the other one go? I scraped the crumbs on the plates into the bin and spent a little longer looking to see if Cormac had thrown it away. Nope, nothing there. I'll probably find it in the back of some cupboard a few weeks later. I shivered at the thought.

I finished my sandwich and washed the plates.

"Thank you,"

"You're welcome, Cormac."

"What? I didn't say anything," he replied.

_What?_

**A/N Oooohh so who's voice did she hear? Hmmmm!! That happens in the book this is based off and I had tp put it in. I also borrowed the Ekam Eveileb from the actual book If You Could See Me Now by Cecelia Ahern. She's the author of P.s I love you. You may have heard of that movie with Hilary Swank. Miss Ahern also writes the tv show Samantha Who? She's amazing. =]**

**A/N I will hopefully have an update on A Distant Memory soon. Possibly tomorrow or Friday. I've started back at school today so I probably won't get a chance to write as much. I promise to try and update every week anyway. =]**

**R&R**

**Helen =]**


	3. An experience

**If You Could See Me Now**

_Disclaimer: I do not own Twilight._

**A/N This is for Darling Summers - she's doing her mocks in a few weeks so good luck to her. =] Also thanks to my beta twilight-is-lovee.**

**_Chapter 3: An experience_**

**Epov**

Did I hear that right?

Did Bella just answer me when I said 'thank you'?

It's not possible. She's not supposed to see or hear me. Only children can see us. Only our "friends" can see us. Bella isn't my "friend," although I wouldn't mind if she was. I really need to talk to Carlisle about this.

"I never said anything. It was Edward," Cormac's innocent voice piped up.

"That's it Cormac! I've had enough of this Edward business. Stop fooling around now. If Edward is here, then why can't I see him?" she asked impatiently.

"You can hear him," he replied. "He was the one who answered you just then."

"Fine. If I can hear him then get him to say something else." She folded her arms and raised an eyebrow.

Cormac and turned to me and nodded.

"I think you look very pretty today, Bella," I said, hoping she could hear me yet also hoping that she couldn't.

Nothing happened. She stood there, arms still crossed. There was no sign to show that she had heard me.

"Well? Was I supposed to have heard something?"

"But you heard him! You did. You heard him say 'thank you.' Why can't you hear him now?" Cormac exclaimed, tears of frustration in his eyes. "Why can't she hear you?" he cried, turning to me.

"It's more a question of why did she hear me? Grown ups aren't supposed to see me or hear me," I explained to Cormac. He nodded his head.

For the third time that day the phone rang. Bella went to answer it.

"Aren't I the popular one this morning," she muttered to herself as she left the room. A few moments later she came back into the kitchen.

"Are you ready to go to Nanny Karen's?" He nodded. "Okay well get your things together." She clapped her ands at him to hurry him along.

I followed Cormac to his room. "Who's Nanny Karen?" I asked, curious as always for any new information about my friends.

"She's my nanny. She looks after me while Mom's at work. She's really nice and she's got a dog called Bobo." He laughed.

"Oh," I said, understanding dawning on my face. Of course he would enjoy it there so much. "Dogs are by far my favourite." Cormac nodded his head in agreement.

"Cormac. Hurry up. We're going to have to take my other car since the black one isn't working," Bella said, popping her head around the door of his room.

As Cormac held open the car door open for me, I could see Bella roll her eyes and shake her head out of the corner of my eye. I didn't mind. I expected this kind of reaction. A lot of parents reacted just the same as Bella.

We pulled up outside a small cottage with a huge front garden. There was a climbing frame out front and black Labrador, Red Setter cross was prancing around the garden, chasing it's tail. A curtain in the front room twitched and the door was opened by a woman in her forties. She was very pretty. She had curly grey-blond hair. She didn't care about dying her hair to hide the greyness. It suited her. She had a kind, heart shaped face. Nanny Karen was short and her clothes were very trendy. Her eyes were a bright, cool, blue-grey colour.

She beamed brightly at Cormac as he waved at her from the car. Bella got out of the car and opened the door for Cormac as she had the childlock on the car door. As soon as Cormac stepped out, she slammed the door shut.

I was stuck in the car. I couldn't get out. Imanginary friends can't open doors. We can do a lot of things but mastering the opening of a door is one thing we never got round to learning.

I looked out the car door at Cormac's face. It was crumpled and he looked like he was going to cry. My heart went out to him. I tried to mouth to him that everything would be okay, we'd see each other soon.

Bella stood talking to Nanny Karen for five minutes before she stepped back into the car.

"Well Edward, I guess it's just you and me." She laughed to herself. "Great! Now I'm talking to myself," she said shaking her head.

I was actually excited about going to work with Bella. I know that as soon as I get out of the car, I should try and find Cormac. It's the right thing to do. It's what I'm supposed to do. If one of us gets separated from our friend then we must try and re-jointhem as soon as possible. But I didn't want to do that. Cormac would be fine with Nanny Karen. I was curious about Bella. I've never met an adult who's ever heard me talk.

She parked her car outside a tall building. There was a sign outside that said "Welcome to The Port Angeles Art Museum." So she worked in an art museum. An art museum was the last place I'd ever think she would work.

She went inside and walked up two flights of stairs to an office. On the door it said "Isabella Swan - Display Manager" in small black letters. She opened the door and I slid inside before she closed the door behind her.

Bella sat down at her desk and looked over some documents. Her head shot up when there was a knock on the door. A pixie like young woman popped her head around the door. She had bright topaz eyes and short, black hair that spiked out in all directions. I could tell instantly that she was a very excitable and happy person. She oozed enthusiasm.

"Hey Bella," her soprano voice chimed.

"Hello Alice." Bella smiled at her. "How are you?"

"I'm great thanks. I was wondering if you wanted to go shopping today?"

"Alice!" Bella groaned. "Must I?"

"Yes you must," she said stubbornly. Her face softened and she pouted, putting on the best display of "puppy dog eyes" I've ever seen. "Please?"

Bella sighed heavily. She's relented. "Okay. I guess. I better call Karen to see if she can keep Cormac for a little while longer."

"Great! I'll meet you here once work is finished." She smiled, glad she got her own way. Alice left the room and myself and Bella were left on our own.

I stood over her and watched while she worked. She was looking at lots of photographs and was placing them around her desk in some sort of display. She stopped and stared off into space with a sad and faraway look on her face.

I wish I knew what was wrong with her. What was she thinking? What was going through her mind right now? I wanted to make her smile again. I loved it when she smiled.

I sighed, making the hairs on the back of her neck stand on end. She shivered.

She felt my breath. I know she did. I waved my hand in front of her face but nothing happened. This was getting incredibly frustrating.

Why was it that one minute she could hear me or feel my breath but then I'll get no reaction from her whatsoever?

I spent the rest of my time that day trying to see if she would react to me again. I also spent a lot of my time simply watching Bella. The way she moved, the way she would look every so often at the photo of Cormac on her desk. I loved the way some of her hair came loose from her tight bun and fell down in front of her face.

It didn't seem that long until Alice came to get Bella. I really should have tried to find Cormac again but I was far too interested in Bella. I needed to know more about her.

"Are you ready to go, Bella?" Alice asked.

"Yes. Let me just get my bag," Bella replied, standing up, smoothing out imaginary creases and picking imaginary pieces of fluff on her brown trouser suit.

She grabbed her handbag and left the room. Again I slipped out before she closed the door.

Bella opened Alice's car door.

"How about you take your car home and I'll follow you. Then we'll take my car shopping." Alce stated. Bella simply nodded. I had the feeling that watever Alice says, goes.

As Aice told Bella this, I took the chance to slide past Bella and into the car. As I passed her, my body touched her and I felt a shocl of electricity go through my body. Bella jumped too. Did she feel it?

"Bella? You alright?" Alice asked concerned.

"Yes. Yes I'm fine. I just got an electric shock from your car," she said, sounding flustered.

"A build up of static I guess," Alice said. "Happens to me all the time. It's really annoying."

"Okay," Bella replied before closing the door and moving towards her own car.

Alice pulled up outside Bella's house and a few minutes later Bella arrived. She parked the car and got out. As she walked over to Alice's car, she tripped. Alice jumped out and helped her up. I wanted to run to her myself. I wanted to check every inch of her body to see if she was hurt. It made my chest tighten thinking of Bella in pain. Why was I feeling like this? I've never had these feelings before. They're new to me. I moved from the front of the car to the back so Bella could sit down.

Bella got in and sat down, throwing her handbag into the back seat. As Alice drove to the mall Bella told her about Cormac and as she called it "his problem." Alice was very understanding and said that she should play along.

Alice parked in the parking lot and they climbed out fo the car. Bella got her handbag, and I managed to get out before she slammed the door closed.

"So Alice, where to first?" Bella asked, sounding like she was going to her death.

"Just follow me, Bella dearest. Just follow me," she said, skipping towards the mall door.

Shopping with Alice is certainly an experience. No wonder Bella was so reluctant to come along. Alice never seemed to stop. She moved from one shop to another. She had bought so much stuff that she had left them in the shop to be collected later. She did insist on carrying her favourite new clothing around with her so she had about ten bags with her. Bella had two bags. She wouldn't have any except Alice insisted she buy something. Of course Bella never seemed to stray from the colours brown and black when shopping. An odd time she might stray over to the gray colours.

We went into another shop and Bella spotted a coat. It was a knee-length military style coat. It had shiny buttons and a high collar. It flared out gradually from the waist. It was very beautiful. Bella tried it on and it looked as if it was made for her. She picked up a brown one.

"Not brown again, Bella," I groaned loudly. "Try a different colour." I looked down and spotted a dark blue one. "What about a blue one? Blue would look lovely on you," I said, even though she couldn't hear me.

She stood there for a little while. Probably debating whether or not to buy it. Eventually she put it down. I guess she wasn't going to buy it.

Surprisingly, she picked up the blue one. Did her subconcious hear me? Did it listen to me? I had somehow mananged to get through to Bella.

"What do you think Alice?" Bella said, holding up the coat.

"It's b-beautiful Bella." Alice stuttered. Obviously surprised about the colour. "Are you going to buy it?"

"Yes, I think I will," she said, smiling.

I smiled too. I was very happy. Bella was most definitely aware of my presence. She may not see me yet, she may not hear me yet, but somewhere deep in her mind, she knew I was there.

**A/N So what do you think? Let me know please. I don't normally ask for reviews but I was wondering if you guys could just do this for me - I have 34. Do you think you could get me to 50? You all are great I know you all can do it. Review and I shall send you a 1kg bar of chocolate. My cousin has one and it's HUGE!!! =]**

**I'm on a bit of a high today because I got my exam results back. I got a B- in Honours Maths which in my opinion is pretty awesome because Honours Maths for the Leaving Cert is pretty hard. There's 5 in my class and by next year there could be less because they'll want to do Pass Maths. This probably won't make a lot of sense to you except those who are Irish lol. I also got a B+ in my Ag. Science, Social & Scientific and French exams. Do I sound like I'm bragging? Well I don't mean to be. I'm just happy and proud of myself. I'm getting my English, Irish and Art back tomorrow so that'll be ... um ... interesting lol.**

**So I'll let y'all go now. Don't forget to review. =]**

**Helen x**


	4. A What IF meeting

**If You Could See Me Now**

_Disclaimer: I do not own Twilight or Cecelia Ahern's If You Could See Me Now. This is just my version of it using Twilight characters. I also changed the storyline but some incidents that occur may seem similiar to those that happen in the book._

**_Chapter 4: A "What IF" Meeting._**

**Epov**

Friends come in all shapes and sizes, we all know that. So why should "imaginary" friends be any different? It really shouldn't matter what we look like. What matters is the role we play in our best friend's life. I didn't choose Cormac to be my friend. He chose me. Of course, he didn't know it at the time. I felt the pull towards him because he needed me, but now I'm not so sure if he's the only one in need of my help.

Cormac will see me, but not my colleague, Jacob, who looks six years old and has dark eyes and hair. Jacob also has the same interests as Cormac. Friends choose certain friends because that's the kind of company they are looking for during that stage of their life. It's obvious that Cormac is looking for a father figure in his life because he has never known his own father. I asked him about it but he says that he never knew his dad. All he knows is that his name is Sam.

Bella on the other hand, well I don't know what she needs me for, or if she even needs me. But in the short space of time I've known her, I would give anything for her to see me.

After her hearing me this morning and then the shopping trip, I called an emergency "What IF" meeting. I needed to know what was going on. I've been doing this job for years and consider myself an expert, but this situation stumped me. It's common to be seen by more than one person on the job, but never by an adult. Okay, so Bella hadn't actually seen me yet, but it was only a matter of time. I know Carlisle will have answers for me.

"What IF" meetings are arranged so everyone can discuss what is happening with a particular friend. If anyone is having problems, then we share our knowledge on similar situations and try to help our colleague. I've never had to call one on my behalf, so Carlisle was a little shocked. The name of the meeting has a double meeting. We are all tired of being called "imaginary friends" so I thought up the name of "What Imaginary Friend" meetings.

When I arrived at the meeting room, everyone else was there. The room was filled with laughter and people playing. Seated around the table in all our own special chairs were my colleagues. Jacob was there, lying on his beanbag wearing old jeans covered in grass stains and dirt.

Esme was there knitting on her rocking chair. She had a very kind, heart-shaped face and caramel-colored hair. There was one exception regarding adults seeing us, and that was Esme. She worked with them. Well, she worked with the elderly. She made them feel comforted and helped them be ready for their last moments on this earth.

Leah sat on her football shaped chair, feet hanging of the edge. She appeared to be a 12-year-old girl. Her hair was tied up and placed under a baseball cap. She had copper skin just like Jacob. She was a tomboy through and through. She was hitting a baseball off the wall beside her. She waved at me as I entered.

Kim was the opposite of Leah, even though they both got on great. Kim looked to be about eight years old. She was sitting ankles crossed on a small, wooden, handcrafted chair with an intricate design on it. Her frilly dress came to her knees, her black shoes shining.

"Something special planned Kim?" I asked politely.

"Yes." She beamed. "My friend Emmer is having a tea party in her garden. I have to get dressed up. She got a new tea party set for her birthday. She's five now."

I smiled at her and then noticed Emmett sitting in his recliner chair with a sullen expression on his face. His curly hair was coming down his face to hide his expression but he couldn't hide his mood from us. We could feel the sadness emanating from him.

"Emmett dearest, what's wrong?" Esme's soft voice asked.

He shifted in his char before answering. Even though he had the appearance of a man in his twenties, he looked so innocent and lost sitting there.

"When Alec woke up this morning, he couldn't see me, but then after lunch he could," he answered sadly.

We all knew what was happening. Alec didn't need him anymore. Alec was moving on with his life. He didn't need Emmett. It was always sad leaving a friend, but more children out there need our help.

We all tried our best to comfort Emmett. I sat myself down in my comfortable leather swivel chair and then Carlisle started the meeting.

I suppose you could call Carlisle our boss. He's been in this business the longest and knows pretty much everything there is to know about being somebody's best friend. His golden blonde hair shone from the sunlight coming in through the window.

"Okay everybody, let's get this started," Carlisle said softly. He waited while we all finished before continuing.

"As you are aware, Edward has called an emergency meeting. So if you would like to explain what the problem with Cormac is, we'll happily help you in any way we can." He smiled at me.

"Cormac is fine. I've no problem with him. I'll probably talk to him and see how he feels about growing up without a father and try to get him to open up a bit." I paused before I continued. "The problem is that his mother, who is twenty five, can sometimes feel my presence."

I heard them all gasp apart from Carlisle. There was a knowing look in his topaz eyes that made me feel better. I knew he would have a solution to this.

"This morning, she even heard me say _thank you_ to her. When she was at work, I sighed and she felt my breath, and then when she was shopping I told her to choose a blue coat instead of a brown one and she did just that," I told them. They stared at me, eyes wide.

"Where was Cormac while this was happening?" Carlisle asked.

"Um… He was with his nanny," I replied sheepishly. Damn it! I was hoping he wouldn't ask that..

"Why weren't you with him?" Esme asked. Carlisle's eyes gleamed.

"Bella closed the door so I couldn't get out and…" I trailed off. I had no proper reason for being with Bella. It was my own plain selfishness. I should've tried to find Cormac as soon as I got out of her car but Bella… intrigues me.

"So why didn't you try to find your way back when you got out of the car?" Jacob asked.

"Because…" I didn't have a proper answer for them.

"Because why?" Kim asked.

What is with everybody and their questions today?

"You know that when you get separated from a friend, you do your best to get back to them," Emmett stated.

"Come on guys.. I was in shock and curious as to why this adult could hear me. This kind of thing doesn't happen." I threw my hands up in the air exasperated.

Carlisle smiled. "It's okay Edward. This has happened before. It's very rare but it happens." He had a faraway look on his face, as though he was remembering something. He smiled again before he started preparing to leave.

"Wait, where are you going?" I asked in surprise. "You haven't told me what to do yet. How will I deal with this?"

Carlisle looked at me before answering. "This isn't an emergency, Edward.. I have no advice to give you because there is none to give. In time, you will have a decision to make and you'll just have to believe in yourself when the time comes. You'll make the right decision."

He got up out of his chair and left the room.

I was even more confused than when I first entered the meeting. What kind of decision would I have to make? What if I made the wrong choice? How would that affect everybody? Would somebody end up getting hurt?

There were so many things to think about, and I didn't even know the decision I had to make. What if I was wrong about what the decision was?

I sighed and lifted myself out of the chair.

"I'll see you guys later. I need to go back to Cormac.."

I wasn't going to tell them that what I really wanted was to be back with Bella.

"Good luck at your tea party, Kim," I said before leaving.

I went back to the Swans and was met by a very excited Cormac.

"Hi, Edward. I missed you today but I still had fun with Nanny Karen." He smiled his toothy grin at me.

"That's great, buddy. So what did you do today?"

"Well, Nanny Karen and I played with Bobo for a little bit, and then I drew a picture and colored it in."

"Coloring is by far my favorite." I grinned at him. "Can I see your picture?"

"Sure." He ran up the stairs to get it. I went into the kitchen and found Bella sitting on the sofa in the conservatory like this morning, a cup of coffee in her hands. She had a faraway look on her face, like the one she had on at work. I wish I knew what she was thinking about.

"Here you go," Cormac said, handing me the picture. Bella jumped and turned to us. She took the picture from him. She must have thought that he was showing his drawing to her.

"It's very good Cormac. Who is it?" her melodic voice asked. I noticed a hint of sadness in her voice.

"It's a picture of me, you, and Edward," he replied.

"Edward?" She sounded surprised.

She probably was. Most parents think that their child's imaginary friend would be the same age and height as them, not a 6'4 grown man who appeared to be in his mid-twenties.

"Cormac, h-how old is… um… Edward?" Bella stuttered.

"I don't know. Let me ask him." Cormac turned to me. "Edward how old are you?"

How to answer him…? He wouldn't believe me if I told him my real age because in all honesty, birthdays isn't really something we record. I know that I'm very, very old, much older than Cormac or Bella, but I only look to be the same age as Bella. Physically we don't age, I will always look this way.

"I'm old like your mom," I answered him. It was the best I could come up.

He giggled. "He says he's old like you, Mom." He laughed again.

Bella's face twisted in shock.

"W-what?"

"What's wrong, Mom?" Cormac asked, his little voice filled with concern.

She managed to compose herself before answering him.

"Nothing, nothing. Your picture's lovely. How about I stick it on the refrigerator and then whoever comes in can see what a pretty picture you drew? "

He beamed widely in response.

"Okay, it's time for bed. You get changed and I'll be up in a minute to tuck you in.."

"Kay, Mom." He ran up the stairs.

"_Okay_, Mom." She corrected him and followed him up the stairs.

She tucked him in and he fell asleep instantly.

"Night night, baby," she murmured against his forehead. "Love you." Bella stayed there at the edge of his bed for a long time, watching him sleep.

A curl was hanging down into his eyes; she moved it away and whispered to him.

"Be safe, my precious angel, you're all I've got now."

She got up and went downstairs.. Bella wrapped a large blanket around her, sat in front of the fire, and watched a TV show about photography. Every so often, she would get that same sad look on her face. I was dying to know what it was about so I could make her smile again.

That's how I spent the next few days. As soon as Cormac was in bed, I would follow Bella downstairs and watch her. I sat on the armchair across from her and watched her, willing her to see or hear me. Once in a while, she would glance towards where I was sitting, and I couldn't figure out why. Eventually, I noticed it was whenever I moved, my jeans would rub against the leather armchair and make a noise, and she could hear it.

I chuckled softly to myself. It was barely above a whisper, but I saw Bella tense on the sofa.

Oh yeah, it's only a matter of time. I'm looking forward to it.

**A/N Okay people let me know what you think? REVIEW PEOPLE REVIEW!!! lol Feedbakc would really be awesome because your reviews make me feel all warm and fuzzy inside. Okay so I;m watching something right now and there's a guy dressed as a panda but he claims he's a badger. LMAO!!!**

**Okay so tap that little button with thee green writing and I will love you forever. =]**

**Helen =]**


	5. Am I going crazy?

**If You Could See Me Now**

_Disclaimer: I do not own Twilight or Cecelia Ahern's If You Could See Me Now. This is just my version of it using Twilight characters. I've changed the storyline but some incidents that occur may seem similar to those that happen in the book._

**A/N Thanks to all my reviewers and my beta twilight-is-lovee.**

**_Chapter 5: Am I going crazy?_**

**Bpov**

I seriously think I'm going crazy. These past few days I've had this constant feeling that somebody has been watching me. It's making me lose sleep, not that I do much of that but the little sleep that I do get is vital to my functioning.

It all started since Cormac started talking to his "friend," Edward. I keep thinking about that drawing he did. It disturbed me. Shouldn't my son be playing with boys and girls his own age, and not a man in his twenties or should I say 'old like me?' I keep picturing it in my mind.

The three of us were outside in the garden. I was on Cormac's left holding his hand. Edward on his right. I knew it was him because of the "Edward" written above his head in large, untidy letters. He was wearing a lot of blue. Blue converse, blue shirt, blue jacket, but black jeans. His hair was a strange color. It was almost like a bronze color, and he had two green dots for eyes. I was thinking that if this person was real, they might actually be attractive.

I was in the kitchen waiting for Alice to arrive. I had called her to talk about my fears for my sanity. Hopefully, she'll be able to help, but I think her remedy would only be a shopping trip. Right now, I don't care what her remedy is, as long as I get out of this house.

Strange isn't it? How I used to think of my home as my sanctuary, but now I can barely stand to be inside it?

There was a knock on the door. Alice was on time, as usual. I put on the coffee machine before answering the door.

"Hey Bella," Alice's soprano voice sang out. She took one look at me and her face fell. "Oh my! Bella, you look like hell. What happened? What's wrong?"

Of course, she would notice right away something was wrong. She can always tell if something is wrong. It's like she has a sixth sense – well that's what I would say if I believed in that sort of thing.

"Come on in and I'll explain." I stood aside to let her through.

"I followed her into the kitchen and made us both some coffee. When I sat down, Alice pounced immediately.

"Spill Bella. What's up?" She looked at me, nothing but concern in her eyes.

"I think I'm going crazy, Alice," I whispered to her. It's hard for me to open up to people. Alice is the only one who can break through my shell. She's the only one I let through. "It's so strange. I feel like I'm being watched. When I'm alone, I hear noises, and whenever I turn around, I feel like someone is burning a hole in my back with their eyes. The hair on the back of my neck stands on end, and I get restless. I've been losing even more sleep."

"How long have you felt like this?"

"Since last week. Since the day Cormac mentioned his friend, Edward." I rolled my eyes when I said "friend."

"Maybe it's Edward," she joked and brightened the mood. "You're probably just under a lot of stress, but do you know what'll fix that? One of Alice's oh so famous and oh so super shopping sprees," she cheered.

"Okay," I sighed.

"Do you have someone to look after Cormac?

"It's Karen's day off today, but Charlie called asking to see him. I didn't want Cormac to go, but Charlie mentioned that Sue is going to be there so I reluctantly agreed," I sighed. "He is his grandfather after all. I'm just glad that someone will be there to keep an eye on him, Charlie that is, not Cormac."

Alice nodded in understanding.

"Alright, enough moping about. Let's go," I said and grabbed my handbag.

**Epov**

I stayed with Cormac while Bella and Alice went shopping. I felt like I've been neglecting him, because I've been spending so much time watching his mother. I couldn't help it. The pull I felt towards her was different. It wasn't like when I was drawn towards a friend in need. Her pull towards me was like a magnet. With friends, I could pick and choose between the ones who needed me most, but with her, I had no choice. I was constantly dawn towards her. Everything about her intrigued me.

When I was with Cormac, I found myself thinking about her. I would find myself thinking about what her hair would feel like if I ran it through my fingers, what her hand would feel like in mine, what her lips would feel like against my own.

"Come on, Edward. We're going to see my Grandpa Charlie." His voice broke me out of my reverie.

"Coming," I called.

I was looking forward to meeting his grandfather. I had seen a picture of him and Bella from when she was a little girl. He had his arm around her and they both looked extremely happy. He was wearing his Police Chief badge. His curly hair fell into his eyes. He was tall and well built with strong, muscled arms. His eyes were bright and gleamed with happiness.

The Charlie Swan of today was very different. His curly hair was dirty and knotted. He was still tall, but his back was humped from years of stooping. His arms were no longer muscled and toned, the skin of his arms sagged. His once shining eyes were dull and bloodshot. These were the effects of alcohol and depression bombarding his mind and body for years. He was a broken man.

Thankfully, Cormac decided to play outside for most of the visit. I couldn't bear to be in the house. The stench was awful – a mix of sweat, alcohol, and cheap aftershave.

We were playing outside near the trees at the side of the house when Cormac looked up.

"What's that?" he asked. I looked to where he was pointing. It was a tree house. I wonder if it's till safe.

"It's a tree house. Stay here and I'll see if it's okay to climb." He nodded and I climbed the tree. After ensuring that it was still safe, I helped Cormac up. We played with his dinosaurs for a long time before we started coloring again. I was plucking up the courage to ask Cormac about his father. Finally, I gulped and took the plunge.

"Cormac?" He looked up. "Where's your dad?" I asked nervously.

He stopped coloring and didn't answer. Great I've blown it.

"He's gone away." He was quiet for so long I didn't think he would answer.

"Are you sad about that? Do you mind that your friends have dads who are there all the time?"

He was silent for another minute before answering.

"I used to, but I'm okay now. I know there are many other people here who love me. Mom loves me even though she doesn't play games. Nanny Karen loves me, and Bobo loves me too. Alice loves me, and she buys me nice things, and I know that even though I don't see Aunt Rose and Grandpa a lot, they still love me. I know that you love me, too. You're my best friend." He smiled at me.

"You know that I won't always be here," I said gently.

"I know," he said sadly. "You told me that before. You said that when I don't need you, you'll disappear, and I'll try not to be sad because I know that there are lots of other little boys and girls that need you too."

I patted his head. I couldn't believe how kind and selfless this little boy was. He never ceased to amaze me. We were both quiet, both of us carried on coloring until Cormac piped up again.

"Mom told me that my dad left before I was born, but she said that he would have loved me very much. She doesn't like to talk about it. It makes her sad," he said softly.

A child can only be serious for so long, so it wasn't that long until we were playing cops and robbers.

Eventually, Alice and Bella came and collected us. She said a quick goodbye to Charlie and then got into the car quickly. We arrived back at the house and we all went inside to the kitchen. Bella made more coffee for her Alice. Cormac was sitting at one end of the table, coloring. That boy sure does love to color, and he's really good at it too. Alice was at the other end, describing in detail every item of clothing she had bought that day. I was standing close to Bella, watching her again.

"I'm sorry, Alice, but why do you love shopping so much? How can you stand it? Don't your feet get sore? Don't you get tired of trying things on and then taking them off again? Isn't it exhausting?" she asked. I myself was interested in this too.

"Bella, Bella, Bella," she sighed. "Do you remember how you felt about photography? You always had to have a camera in your hand. I remember you used to sit down and suddenly stand up again, filled with inspiration. You used to take pictures of me, of Sam, of everyone. Until… you know…" she trailed off. "How I feel about shopping is similar. It's a part of me, a natural feeling… Like love," she finished.

I was standing so close to Bella, my nose was almost touching her cheek. Unlike last time when I breathed, she didn't feel me. My breath caused her loose hairs to swirl gently around her ear.

"Hear, hear," I whispered.

**A/N Don't you just love Cormac - I do!! lol So review guys and I will give you a bag of Magic Stars. I love Magic Stars - hmmm yummy chocolateyness. =D I'm having so much fun writing this story. It has been my favourite so far to write. As soon as I finish a chapter I can't wait to get started on the next.**

**This is very important. It's to do with my other story A Distant Memory. I'm having major writer's block for it and I don't really enjoy writing it. It's my own fault really - I had a pile of notes written for it but stupid me had to lose them and I can't for the life of me remember them so I will probably only write 2-3 more chapters for it and that will be it completed. It'll be majorly short, 8 chapters I think. This does not affect IYCSMN because I love writing this.**

**Anyway review.**

**Helen =]**


	6. Memories

**If You Could See Me Now**

_Disclaimer: I do not own Twilight or Cecelia Ahern's If You Could See Me Now. This is just my version of it using Twilight characters. I've changed the storyline but some incidents that occur may seem similar to those that happen in the book._

**A/N You should thank my beta twilight-is-lovee because she demanded I write this chapter because she was my 52nd reviewer lol.**

**_Chapter 6: Memories_**

**_Recap:_**

**_EPOV_**

_"I'm sorry, Alice, but why do you love shopping so much? How can you stand it? Don't your feet get sore? Don't you get tired of trying things on and then taking them off again? Isn't it exhausting?" she asked. I myself was interested in this too._

_"Bella, Bella, Bella," she sighed. "Do you remember how you felt about photography? You always had to have a camera in your hand. I remember you used to sit down and suddenly stand up again, filled with inspiration. You used to take pictures of me, of Sam, of everyone. Until… you know…" she trailed off. "How I feel about shopping is similar. It's a part of me, a natural feeling… Like love," she finished._

_I was standing so close to Bella, my nose was almost touching her cheek. Unlike last time when I breathed, she didn't feel me. My breath caused her loose hairs to swirl gently around her ear._

_"Hear, hear," I whispered._

**Bpov**

What Alice said yesterday brought back so many memories. I used to love photography, and I still do. It was a part of me. She was right. I always had a camera in my hand. I loved how something could look dark in the shade and then look warm and welcoming in the bright light.

I was going to travel the world. See things I could never even dream of. I was going to take pictures of everything. There would be so many memories, a special story behind each one. Unfortunately, things happened that put a stop to those plans, my dreams.

Sam and I were so in love – or so I thought. His dad and my dad were best friends. We used to play together all the time. I thought of him as my brother – until one summer, that is. The summer when I turned sixteen. That's when everything changed.

_FLASHBACK_

_"Bella you ready to go?" Charlie called, halfway out the door. I came charging down the stairs in my usual summer outfit - a pair of denim shorts, a tank top, and old trainers. If Sam and I are going to be outside most of the time - which I think we are - then I am going to have to wear practical clothes. I ran past Charlie, yelled bye to Rose and Mom, and hopped into the cruiser._

_"Jeez, Bella, relax. I know you've missed him the past six months, but he's not going anywhere now," Charlie laughed._

_I haven't seen my best friend in six months, and he's telling me to relax. Sam has been away for half the year on an apprenticeship in the city. We've kept in contact mostly through talking on the phone but it's not as good as the real thing. I can't believe that I'm going to see him in less than twenty minutes. _

_We pulled into his drive, and before I could get out of the Charlie's cruiser, someone came bounding out the door, down the steps, and towards us._

_I couldn't figure out who it was until I saw their face. It was my Sam. He had changed so much in the last six months. For one thing, I think he was over a foot taller than when he left. His copper skin shone in the sunlight. His once thin arms were now strong with rounded muscles. His hair was still long and shaggy, but there was something different about it. His face had lost all the roundness of youth. His cheekbones were more defined and his jaw line was smooth and square. His eyes were still exactly the same. They were still the same pool of chocolate brown that I was getting lost in at this very moment. _

_My Sam was no longer a boy. He was a young seventeen year old man and very, very attractive._

_I got out of the car and we stood there for God knows how long. My eyes roamed over his body, drinking in every feature that I missed. When my gaze finally returned to his face, he was staring at me. His eyes piercing mine with emotions I couldn't comprehend. He was looking at me as if he'd never truly seen me before. He looked like a man that has seen the sun for the first time. I was confused; he couldn't be looking at me like that._

_"B-Bella?" he stuttered. His voice had changed too. It was deeper, huskier. It was… sexy? Should I be thinking like this? I mean he's my best friend. I don't want things to be weird between us._

_"Hey Sam." I smiled shyly at him. "I've missed you so much."_

_He wrapped his huge arms around me and held me to him. In his arms, I felt safe, comforted. It felt like home._

_"I've missed you, too, Bells." He laughed. Our embrace lasted longer than usual. Was it just me or was he as reluctant to let go as I was?_

_"Let's go for a walk." He took my hand and led me towards First Beach. This was our place. It's where we would always go if we felt sad or we just wanted to think._

_"Bella, you've changed so much," he said to me, placing a piece of my loose hair behind my ear. When his soft skin grazed against mine, I felt shivers of desire run up my spine. _

_"For better or worse?" I asked as a joke, but really hoping he'd say for better. He looked deep into my eyes._

_"For better," he murmured. I swallowed hard and carried on walking._

_"You've changed too," I said to him, smiling at him, trying to flirt._

_"For better or worse?" He smiled sexily back at me. Oh my, that smile is making me melt._

_"Oh, for better. Most definitely for better," I replied and skipped on ahead. It was a few minutes before I heard him start walking again. I chuckled softly to myself._

_While I was laughing, I didn't look where I was going and tripped. I closed my eyes, waiting for the crash but I felt two strong arms wrap themselves around me._

_"Some things just don't change, eh, Bella?" Sam laughed lightly. "Although I don't think this is something I'd want to change," he said softly._

_"I don't mind falling, as long as you're here to catch me," I whispered, looking into his eyes._

_That was all he needed me to say before his lips were on mine. They moved against each other hungrily at first, until it became softer and more gentle. It was at that moment, during my first ever kiss, that I realized I loved Sam Uley._

_"I love you, Bella," he said huskily when we pulled apart._

_"Love you more," I managed to say before his lips were on mine again._

_FLASHBACK OVER_

I remember that summer so clearly. It was one of the best of my life. After that, Sam and I were joined at the hip. We never left each other's company. We loved each other, and that was never going to change. Or so I thought. Once I started college, things changed. I still loved Sam, and he still loved me, but we fought more.

After my mother's death, I wouldn't let him in. I busied myself in tidying the house. I wanted everything to be perfect. It needed to be. I kept annoying him because of my need for perfection, and it drove us apart until he couldn't take it anymore.

A few months later, I found out I was pregnant. I told him Sam, and he was so happy. We tried to give things another go, and things were going great. He proposed, I accepted. We were meant to be together. Everything was bliss until the accident.

Sam was out with his friends, celebrating the news, when a car hit him. He died on his way to the hospital. My world fell apart. There was no light at the end of the tunnel, until a few months later, my darling Cormac was born. He was my reason to carry on living. I did it for him. I went back to college and got a job in the Art Museum. I had a child to support. I needed a reliable job, one that would guarantee a paycheck every week. I gave up photography. I couldn't do it. There were too many hurtful memories.

I was brought out of my memories by the clock chiming. It was nearly time for Cormac to be home. He was being left home by a teacher today because I didn't feel up to it. I was a little depressed. I didn't even go to work today.

I heard the door opening and a little patter of feet. Cormac was home.

"Hi, Mom. Are you feeling better?" He came over and hugged me.

"Yes sweetie, much better." I did my best to smile at him. "Why don't you go leave your things in your room and then you can tell me what you want for dinner. Okay?"

"Okay." He skipped out of the room and I was glad for the silence. I pulled my blanket around me tighter and sighed.

I then noticed someone else standing at the door. He was the most beautiful man I'd ever seen. Far more beautiful than Sam. The sleeves of his blue shirt were rolled up and I could see the well-defined contours of his arms. He had very pale skin and was very tall. His bronze hair shone from the sunlight coming in from the window. I looked into his eyes and I was instantly lost in them. They sparkled far more beautifully than any emerald I'd ever set eyes on. I could gaze into them for hours. They were exquisite. His face had a look of surprise on it. I couldn't figure out why. My eyes roamed over the rest of his body. I took in his black jeans and finally settled on his blue converse.

My eyes looked up again to take in his entire body. The sun was shining. It cast a glow around him, making him look like an angel from a dream.

"Hello," I said curiously. There was something familiar about him. "Who are you?"

Still he looked at me with wide eyes. He swallowed before answering and his voice was shaky.

"M-my, um … My name is Edward."

**A/N *Squeal* Do you love this chapter as much as I do? If you do then review people, review. Show me the love lol. So now the fun can begin! YAY!!! *Jumps around the room excitedly.* You honestly don't know how much I love writing this. In my honest opinon this is some of my best writing. =]**

**So I don't know when I'll be able to update again because .. um ... it's snowing!! =] A trip home from school usually about 15-20 mins. It took me 2 and half hours today. lol So I'll most likely have a snow day tomorrow and I'll be kind of busy doing other things - not involving snow of course *laughs nervously with shifty eyes***

**Anywho review. I think I've been super awesome with my updates this weekend so this'll do y'all for a bit.**

**Helen =]**


	7. Hi! It's nice to meet you

**If You Could See Me Now**

_Disclaimer: I do not own Twilight or Cecelia Ahern's If You Could See Me Now. This is just my version of it using Twilight characters. I've changed the storyline but some incidents that occur may seem similar to those that happen in the book._

**A/N Nothing that interesting happens in this chapter. It's kind of their meeting from Edward's pov.**

**_Chapter 7: Hi! It's nice to meet you._**

**Let's recap:**

**BPOV**

_I then noticed someone else standing at the door. He was the most beautiful man I'd ever seen. Far more beautiful than Sam. The sleeves of his blue shirt were rolled up and I could see the well-defined contours of his arms. He had very pale skin and was very tall. His bronze hair shone from the sunlight coming in from the window. I looked into his eyes and I was instantly lost in them. They sparkled far more beautifully than any emerald I'd ever set eyes on. I could gaze into them for hours. They were exquisite. His face had a look of surprise on it. I couldn't figure out why. My eyes roamed over the rest of his body. I took in his black jeans and finally settled on his blue converse._

_My eyes looked up again to take in his entire body. The sun was shining. It cast a glow around him, making him look like an angel from a dream. _

_"Hello," I said curiously. There was something familiar about him. "Who are you?"_

_Still he looked at me with wide eyes. He swallowed before answering and his voice was shaky._

_"M-my, um … My name is Edward."_

**Epov**

I was at school with Cormac today. We were on our way home now. His teacher, Ms. Addams, was dropping him home today since Bella wasn't feeling to good.

He jumped out of the car, said goodbye to Ms. Addams, and bounded into the house. Bella was sitting in the living room with a blanket wrapped around her. She looked incredibly sad. I wanted nothing more to sit down beside and comfort her.

"Hi, Mom, are you feeling better?" Cormac went over and hugged her.

"Yes, Sweetie, much better." She smiled at him, but it didn't reach her eyes. It was strained and forced. "Why don't you go leave your things in your room and then you can tell me what you want for dinner, okay?"

"Okay," he said and ran upstairs. Bella sighed and wrapped the blanket tighter around her. I stood in the doorway and watched her for another minute. She looked in my direction and I froze.

She looked at me. I mean she really looked at me. Her eyes didn't pass over me as they usually do. They looked right into my own. I was frozen to the spot and I was pretty certain that she couldn't comprehend why I was sitting there looking like a goldfish.

"Hello," she said to me. "Who are you?"

She's speaking to me. What am I going to say? My mouth is dry. I open my mouth to say something but nothing comes out. I shake my head to try and clear my mind. Why can she see me now? Why now and not yesterday or the day before? What's changed?

I then realize that she's looking at me, still waiting for an answer to her question.

"M-my, um … My name is Edward," I finally manage to say. I tried my best to hide my shaky voice but I'm sure she could hear it.

"Oh. Did you leave Cormac home? I'm Bella, his mother. Sorry I wasn't able to collect him today. I'm feeling under the weather, but I'll be fine to get him on Monday."

"It's nice to finally meet you," I said back to her. I know we've been introduced before but I don't think it counts when the person you are being introduced to can't see you. "Cormac has told me so much about."

"Oh, I hope it was all good." She smiled at me. I love her smile. It lights up her entire face.

"Oh it was. I assure you." I grinned my crooked smile at her. Her eyes widened and she stared at me for a minute before shaking her head and muttering something to herself.

She cleared her throat. "So how long have you been Cormac's teacher?"

"Oh I'm not his teacher. I… um… help him," I answered vaguely.

"So you help him with his schoolwork and that?" she asked. I wasn't surprised she was asking so many questions. I just wish that I could be more honest with her. She wouldn't understand the truth, but I will try and be as truthful as I can.

"Sure. I also talk to him about how he feels about things, and I try my best to help him if he has any problems."

She nodded. "Would you like a cup of coffee?"

Thank goodness she seemed to accept my answer.

"Yes please," I said enthusiastically. I'd take any chance I could to spend more time with her. She made the coffee and we sat down at the kitchen table.

"Do you mind me asking why you're feeling under the weather? Are you sick or is it something else?" I really hoped she would answer me. I know I'm being forward and it's none of my business but everything about Bella draws me in and I would give anything to get a glimpse into her mind. Usually I'm pretty good at reading people's emotions and I'm usually pretty good at guessing what they're thinking about, but with Bella, it's different. She's so good at hiding her emotions to protect Cormac.

She was silent for a few moments and was running her fingers round the rim of the coffee mug. She took in a deep breath before answering.

"I was thinking about Cormac's dad," she said. "My friend Alice said something yesterday and it brought back memories, I guess. We were best friends for years and then we fell in love. I was pregnant with Cormac, and Sam and I were engaged. We were happy until a car hit him and he died. Words can't describe how alone and unloved I felt. That is until Cormac was born. I finally found a reason to live. He was the reason I made it through every day. My father was too drunk to even understand that he had a grandson, my sister couldn't give a damn whether or not I was alive or dead, and my mother died before Cormac was born." She stopped and started twisting her fingers.

"I'm sorry. What must you think of me? I've only just met you and here I am telling you my little sob story." She laughed dryly, shaking her head.

I placed my hand on hers and felt a shock of electricity like the last time my skin touched hers. Her head snapped up but she didn't move her hand away.

"It's okay Bella. We all need someone to talk to, to connect with. I don't mind you telling me this. I'd love to get to know you," I said to her softly. "If you ever need to talk to someone, I'll be here."

It sounds so cliché, but it's true. It's my job. Although, even if it wasn't my job, I'd still want to be here.

"Thank you, Edward," She said to me. "I'd really like to get to know you too."

Just then, Cormac came downstairs and stopped in his tracks when he saw my hand on Bella's.

"Hi mom, Edward." He sounded confused but then his little face broke out into a huge grin. "Mom can we have chicken for dinner, please, and can Edward stay for it?"

"Well that depends on whether Edward is busy or not." She smiled at him.

"Chicken is by far my favorite." She looked at me strangely but then simply nodded her head.

While Bella was getting the chicken ready I offered to prepare the vegetables. Cormac came over to me and whispered.

"So she can see you now?" he asked.

"Yes. She thinks I'm a teacher at your school." Cormac laughed, earning a weird look from Bella.

We sat down for the meal, and the conversation was light and enjoyable. It was the first time in a long time that I was able to eat a meal comfortably. Usually, I have the parents staring at me as I eat, which makes me nervous, and then I'm not able to eat it. That's why the food usually just sits there.

"Edward, where are you from? Have you always lived in Forks?" Bella asked.

"I travel a lot, so it all depends on my job. But it looks like I'll be staying in Forks for the foreseeable future. I'm from Ekam Eveileb though."

Bella seemed to find something amusing about my answer. I couldn't figure out what though.

After dinner, I helped wash up. I played with Cormac for a while until it was time for him to go to bed. He wanted me to read a story to him, which I did. I went downstairs to find Bella back on the sofa where she first found me.

"Did you know that Cormac has an imaginary friend?" she asked me.

"Yes I did," I answered truthfully.

"I think he's based him off you, though. Just some of the things you said made me think about him. He's called Edward too, and even dresses like you." She laughed.

I wonder if she'd be laughing if I told her that I was that very same Edward. She wouldn't believe me. She'd think I was a lunatic or I was joking. She'd tell me to leave and I want to spend as much time as I can with her and Cormac.

"Oh really? Well I'm flattered, I guess." I laughed. "I actually think I should go. Thank you for the coffee and dinner," I said and walked to the door. She followed behind me.

When I reached the door, I turned to her and grasped her hands in mine. Once again, I felt the shock of electricity run through my body.

"Tomorrow is Saturday? Yes? Can I see you tomorrow?" I asked, begging that she'd say yes.

She stood still and seemed shocked by my request.

"Yes," she breathed out.

I smiled at her my crooked grin and walked outside. "Until tomorrow," I called to her and waved.

Okay only a few short hours until I see my Bella again. I'm sure I could bare it.

I was falling for Bella… Falling hard.

**A/N Heya guys!! I know I said that I wouldn't be able to update until later this week - well I lied. I've had this written since Sunday so I thought I'd post it today. I have the next chapter written, I'm just waiting for twilight-is-lovee to beta it. **

**Nexy chapter - their day out. =]**

**Review and show me the love. Btw I want to thank you all for giving me over 100 reviews already! =] This is proving to be my most popular story yet. **

**I had so much fun in the snow today also. lol You never can be to old to play in the snow unless of course you're really really old and have chest problems - then I wouldn't reccomend playing in the snow. No that, that wouldn't be a very good idea at all.**

**Jeez look at me rambling on. I'll let ye go now. **

**Helen =]**


	8. A Day Out

**If You Could See Me Now**

_Disclaimer: I do not own Twilight or Cecelia Ahern's If You Could See Me Now. This is just my version of it using Twilight characters. I've changed the storyline but some incidents that occur may seem similar to those that happen in the book._

**_Chapter 8: A Day Out._**

**Bpov**

I don't know why I told that beautiful stranger, Edward, about Sam. I just felt so at ease in his company. I felt like I could tell him anything and he would never judge me.

I've only just met him, but there's something about him. I can't put my finger on it. I almost felt as though he wasn't telling me the whole truth. I found that I didn't care. If he truly meant what he said about wanting to get to know me better, then I would wait until he was ready to tell me more about himself.

He was the first man I felt a connection with since Sam, and I'll never forget the shock of electricity that ran through my body when his skin touched mine. It's like nothing I've ever felt before, not even with Sam. I couldn't stop the smile creeping upon my face when I thought I was going to see him again in a few hours. This handsome stranger has bewitched me, my body and soul.

I slept for eight hours straight for the first time in ... well I can't really remember, it's been that long. I was having a pleasant dream and I didn't want to wake up. It involved a certain green-eyed god and me. We were lying in a meadow, surrounded with wild flowers. His arms were wrapped around me. It felt so real; I could almost imagine his arms around me at that moment.

"BELLA!" a voice yelled. "CORMAC!" it yelled again. It was familiar but I ignored it. I was enjoying my dream far too much.

"WAKE UP!" Then there was knocking on the door.

Ugh! I reluctantly dragged myself out from my covers and shivered when my feet hit the cold floor. I went over to my window and standing there was Edward looking as if he'd come right out of my dream. He was wearing the same clothes that I saw him in yesterday - blue converse, black jeans and a blue shirt. He still looked as attractive as ever. I felt my knees go weak as he smiled up at me – his crooked grin.

"Edward it's 5 am on a Saturday. What are you doing here?" I asked, my voice thick with sleep.

"I'm taking you and Cormac out. Didn't you say I could see you today?" he asked, his voice fully alert. There wasn't a hint of tiredness in it. Stupid morning person.

Just then, Cormac came in. "Mom," he yawned. "There's someone there."

"I know. It's Edward. He's come to take us out."

At the mention of Edward, Cormac brightened and was soon over beside me at the window.

"Hi." He jumped about excitedly. "What are we doing today?" Cormac called to Edward.

"We're going to someplace very special. It's a secret," Edward replied, his eyes mirrored Cormac's.

"Okay," he called. "I'll let you in and then I'll get my breakfast and get dressed."

"No need. I got a picnic," Edward said holding up a large picnic basket.

Cormac charged out of the room and ran to his bedroom. I told him I'd get dressed too, and then I'll be down. I opened my closet and sighed. I couldn't wear a suit. It's a picnic. I rummaged and finally in the very back I found something to wear.

I'd forgotten I had these clothes. The last time I'd worn them was when I was painting the house four years ago. I hope they still fit. The outfit consisted of a pair of three quarter length sweat pants, a white tank top and one of Charlie's old flannel shirts. I really wanted to look nice for Edward but I guess this was my only option. I decided to leave my hair down. I could fix it up later. Then I realized I needed something to wear on my feet. I couldn't wear my heels with this outfit. Once again I searched my closet and said a silent prayer in thanks when I found an old pair of trainers.

I went downstairs and found Cormac in the garden with Edward. They were whispering and laughing like best friends. I thought it was great that Cormac got along so well with Edward. He's really the only man in his life apart from Charlie. It's good that he has such a great role model like Edward.

"Are we ready to go?" I asked. Edward's head snapped up when I spoke, and he smiled again. I couldn't help but return it. He radiated happiness, and you couldn't help but feel happy in his presence.

"We are indeed. Lead the way." He indicated towards the car and bowed lowly, earning a laugh from both Cormac and myself.

I got into the car and once everyone had their seat belts on, I turned to Edward.

"Where to, Edward?"

"Just follow my directions."

"I don't leave my house unless I know where I'm going so just tell me."

He rolled his eyes at me. "Just this once please, Bella."

When he used that tone of voice, I couldn't refuse him. I sighed and pulled out of the drive. Out of the corner of my eye, I saw him grin at me, and lean back into the car.

I followed his directions to the freeway and then we pulled off onto a side road. We passed a lot of forest, which didn't surprise me. It is Forks, Washington after all – the greenest place in the USA. Edward told me to stop the car beside a small hiking trail. We got out of the car and I made my way over to the trail.

"Bella? Where are you going?" Edward asked, amused.

"Are we not going on the trail?" I replied, worry filling my voice.

Edward moved towards the trunk of the car, opened it, and pulled out the picnic basket and ... my camera? Where did he get that? I was sure I had left it in the spare room, which I know Edward has never been in.

"Where did you get that?" I snapped at him. I was annoyed at him. I don't do photography anymore.

"Cormac found it and I told him to bring it along. I thought you might like to remember this day." He grinned that crooked smile and I forgot why I was angry with him.

He handed me that camera and I felt something click back into place. The camera fit perfectly into my hands. I was a part of it and it a part of me. It was as if I'd never put it down. Edward was standing in front of the forest with his hand outstretched to me.

We were walking through the forest. NO! I can't do that. I'll fall and make a fool of myself..

"I ... um ... fall down a lot," I said lamely.

He chuckled softly. "It's okay. I'll be right here to make sure you don't fall," he said reassuringly, and I believed him. Something about his voice made me believe that he would never purposely hurt me or let anything try to hurt me. I took his hand, Cormac grabbed Edward's free hand, and then we walked into the darkness.

The forest wasn't actually that dark, even though the sun still hasn't risen in the sky. I did stumble once or twice, but Edward was there to help me. The one time I actually tripped and fell, he wrapped his arms around me. When Sam did that I felt safe, comforted. I felt that with Edward too, but there was also excitement, anxiety, and I felt butterflies in my stomach when I was that close to him. I could smell his mouthwatering scent. It was a mix of pine, soap, and his aftershave. The aftershave didn't overpower the natural aroma, it complimented it. After that, I couldn't help but stay close to him. I would glance over and find him staring at me and smiling. He would glance over and find me doing the same. There was something about his eyes. I was incapable to look away – I didn't want to look away.

He stopped a few feet away from a clearing and told us to wait. Just then, the sun started rising over the trees. It cast a golden light on everything. It lit up the entire area we were in. It started from the far end of the trees and moved slowly towards us like a golden sea. I could finally see clearly where we were. It was a meadow. The most beautiful meadow I've ever seen. There were so many different types of wildflowers growing everywhere.

I reached out and grabbed Edward's hand and he gave it a gentle squeeze. I looked at him and found him once again looking deep into my eyes.

"It's beautiful," I whispered.

"I hoped you would like it," he whispered back. He turned to Cormac then. "Run along buddy. We'll catch up."

Cormac ran full speed into the forest. I made to follow but Edward stopped me. "Just watch," he said.

As soon as Cormac came to the flowers, they started to move. Suddenly there was a wave of color as hundreds of butterflies flew into the sky. Cormac stared at them in awe until he started to dance about in them. He was jumping and squealing. Edward pulled me into to join him but I stood there too shocked too move. It was one of the most magical moments I'd ever seen.

Edward started playing with Cormac. He would lift him high into the air and twirl him about. I then remembered the camera in my hands. I did the only thing I was capable of doing at that moment. I took pictures. I finished a roll and I hoped that Edward had brought another one along. I searched in the basket and found about 6 or 7 more rolls. I smiled to myself. How did he know me so well? How did he know that one or two rolls would not be enough once I got started?

They seemed to have forgotten about me standing at the edge of the forest until Cormac shouted, "Mom come play with us."

I shook my head. I'd rather just take the pictures. "Later. I want to get a few photos first."

"Come on, Bella. You've used an entire roll already. I think the pictures can wait another little while. We have the whole day for photos," Edward called back..

I shook my head again. Knowing that if I opened my mouth I wouldn't be able to refuse them both again. Cormac's shoulders slumped and he looked about to cry. Edward, however, was filled with determination.

"Bella. Come on. For once just let go. Forget about order, forget about the rules, and just have fun," he yelled again.

I couldn't. It wasn't like me. Although when I was younger, I wouldn't have needed to be asked twice. I would have been the first out dancing and jumping around. But things change.. I grew up. I had to. I looked at Edward and then Cormac. I've already done things today that are unlike me. Firstly, I'm not wearing brown or a suit. I got in a car without knowing where I'm going, and I followed practically a stranger into a forest before dawn. I didn't really mind that part. If Edward told me to bungee jump off a bridge, I would do it, as long as he was there too.

Why stop being unlike me now? I took a deep breath and walked towards them both. When they saw me move towards them, Cormac squealed and ran to meet me, Edward just stood there and smiled. I lifted Cormac up and swirled him about too. I watched what both of them did, and I copied them. We danced and then I didn't know what overcame me, but I started to spin round and round in circles, even when I became dizzy, I continued spinning. I kept my eyes open. I didn't want to miss anything – the colors of the flowers and butterflies, the huge grin plastered on Cormac's face, how beautiful Edward looked in the sun.

I threw back my head and laughed. I felt so free in that moment. I knew then that the Bella I had become over the years wasn't the real me. I didn't want to be the stuck up, orderly, woman who everyone thinks has OCD. I want to be the fun, loving, ambitious Bella of my youth. I know that I have responsibilities, but that doesn't mean I can't have fun. I want to spend more time with my son, and that is no one's fault but my own. Cormac and I have plenty of time alone, it's just I don't play with him. I don't have fun with him like other mothers do with their child. I was going to change that.

After what seemed to be hours of having fun, my stomach started to rumble. Cormac's was rumbling too. I should've though about that earlier.

"Cormac. Why didn't you say that you were hungry? We didn't have breakfast this morning."

"Well I didn't know I was hungry until I stopped and then you looked like you were having lots of fun, Mommy," he said to me sweetly. I hugged him tightly and spun him in the air again. Sometimes I wonder how I became so lucky to have such a considerate and beautiful son.

"Well then let's eat," Edward replied, reaching out for my hand. I took it and walked over to the blanket in the center of the meadow. There was so much food - Five different types of sandwiches, bagels, pancakes, chocolate sauce, maple syrup, strawberries, apples, blueberry muffins, orange juice, coffee, and he even brought milk and cereal.

"I didn't know what you guys would like so I brought a little of everything," he said shyly.

"It's perfect. Thank you." I sat down beside him and kissed his cheek.

I blushed a deep red. Oh dear god, I didn't just kiss his cheek, did I? I did. I mentally slapping myself on the forehead. I noticed out of the corner of my eye that he was very red in the face too, but there was s huge grin on his face. That didn't make me feel too bad. Maybe he didn't mind so much.

He took my hand in his and I didn't refuse. I loved the way my hand felt in his.

I barely know him but I don't care. I was scared of how strong my feelings towards him were already.

I was falling for Edward… Falling hard!

**A/N I thought the same ending as the last chapter would be kind of sweet. Some of you think that I'm moving to fast with the way she opened up to Edward in the last chapter. I just had it in my head that she was fed up and was kind of going on a little rant and you know how things slip out when your on a rant.**

**I've probably moved a bit too fast in this chapter for some of you and I'm sorry about that. But just remember that Bella has sort of known Edward for over a week, she just couldn't see him. She's been aware of his presence so that's why she feels so comfortable with him. I just want you to know that there is two different Bellas. When she's with Edward it's like she becomes a totally different person. Then when she's around other people it's like she snaps out of a spell or something and she's back to her usual self. As this progresses the two Bellas will unite to form a mix of them, She'll be the person Bella really wants to be. I hope that clears some things up for you but I will try to move slower from now on.**

**As a matter of interest but does anyone else think Barack Obama is gorgeous? My friends and I were talking about him today and most of us think he's a bang. Even our art teacher joined in our discussion about him and she's married with four kids. Tut tut tut the youth of today corrupting the minds of adults.**

**Anywho review people review.**

**P.s I was off school yesterday again. Not snow this time, ice. So I wasn't really outside much. I don't think an ice ball fight would be as fun as snow ball fight. It would kind of hurt. lol**

**P.s.s Her outfit is the most comfiest outfit EVER!!!**

**P.s.s.s *shivers* Butterflies. Ewwww!**

**Bye, Helen =]**


	9. Dragged back to reality

**If You Could See Me Now**

_Disclaimer: I do not own Twilight or Cecelia Ahern's If You Could See Me Now. This is just my version using the characters from Twilight. I've changed the storyline but some incidents that occur may seem similar to those that happen in the book._

**A/N Thanks to al my reviewers etc and my beta twilight-is-lovee.**

**_Chapter 9: Dragged back to reality._**

**Bpov**

After finishing the picnic, we packed up the things and headed back to the car. I didn't let go of his hand once during the hike back through the woods to the car.

I had to let him go in order to get into the car. I didn't pick it back up after that because I don't like driving with only one hand on the steering wheel. His hand was lying there in the middle, near the gear stick, just begging to be held. Any chance I could, whether it was changing the gear or the radio station, I would brush my hand against his. Always by accident of course.

I couldn't get enough of the way his skin felt against mine. Every time, I got that same electric shock that sends shivers of desire down my spine.

I was so aware of him in the cramped space of my car. The fact that I couldn't keep my eyes of him was having a serious affect on my driving skills. I couldn't keep my eyes of him mostly because he was absolutely breathtaking. The other reason is that I feel that if I take my eyes of him for more than a second, he's going to disappear.

We were driving along the highway when Edward spoke.

"Did you enjoy yourself today?" He turned in his seat to face Cormac.

"Yeah. It was so much fun. That is the best place in the whole wide world," he cried, jumping in his seat. "Mom had lots of fun too. Did you see her spin round and round and round? I was getting dizzy looking at her." He giggled.

"I know. I was getting dizzy too," Edward replied. "What did you like best?"

"Um... Everything. Especially the pancakes. No, wait, my favorite was mom spinning," Cormac answered him.

Edward nodded in return and turned around in his seat again. He stared out the window.

"That was by far my favorite, too. She looked beautiful," he said it softly I don't even know if I heard him correctly.

We continued the drive in silence, but it was a comfortable one. Cormac had settled down and was now feeling tired after being up so early.

I pulled into my drive and froze. There parked in front of my garage was a police cruiser. On my doorstep were two police officers.

I parked the car and got out. Cormac got out, too, and I saw him open the door for Edward. Strange.

"Paul. Jared," I greeted them. I was on first name terms with most of the police force in Forks and Port Angeles because of Rosalie. She's been arrested quite a few times.

They were looking at me with wide eyes and didn't answer me. They wouldn't be the only ones surprised to see me wearing anything other than a suit. I'm sure in a few hours time, everyone in the surrounding area will know that Isabella Swan was out this morning before 7, wearing sloppy clothes and trainers ... with a stranger. Gasp! The scandal.

"Have you been waiting long?" I asked them.

"No. We only just arrived before you," Jared answered when he got over the shock of seeing me in my unusual attire.

"Well, shall we." I opened the door for them and stood aside to let them past. I followed them into the kitchen and pointed for them to sit down.

"Edward, will you take Cormac out into the conservatory?" They had followed me into the kitchen. I didn't want Cormac to hear this and I wasn't sure whether I wanted Edward to hear yet either.

Jared and Paul looked at me strangely when I spoke to Edward.

He nodded and led Cormac into the conservatory. I closed the glass door behind him.

"So, what's all this about?" I asked, trying not to let my worry show.

**Epov ( back at the meadow)**

Words couldn't describe how beautiful Bella looked spinning in the sun. She swirled round and round, looking so carefree. It was very different to the Bella I've witnessed this past week. She looks as though all her fears are far behind her. She no longer looks as though she's carrying the weight of the world on her shoulders.

She threw her head back and laughed. It was the most beautiful sound I'd ever heard. I was determined that I would hear her laugh again, for my own sanity's sake.

We continued dancing and laughing until I heard her stomach rumble. I chuckled to myself..

I reached out for Bella's hand and I danced inside when she took it. I brought them over to the picnic basket and showed them the array of food I had brought with me.

"I didn't know what you guys would like so I brought a little of everything," I said shyly. What if they didn't like anything I had brought?

Bella stared at it, mouth open, eyes wide, for a long time. I was getting nervous. Did she not like it?

"It's perfect. Thank you." She replied. She sat down beside me and kissed my cheek.

The spot where her lips touched my cheek tingled. I grinned widely. The joy I felt at that simple show of affection was overwhelming. I knew I must have been sitting there very red in the face too, maybe almost as red as Bella. The way the flush of crimson looked against her pale complexion made her look far too tempting.

I took her hand again, and again, she didn't refuse. Could it be possible that she liked me? Even just a little bit? My insides twisted in happiness at the thought that Bella might even feel for me a fraction of what I feel for her.

After the picnic, we packed up and headed back to the car. Not once did Bella let go of my hand until she had to get into the car. Cormac opened my door for me since I couldn't open doors. Remember I haven't mastered the art of opening doors yet.

I hoped she would hold my hand again but she kept both hers firmly on the steering wheel. I was a little disappointed, but I guess she felt uncomfortable driving with only one hand. However, every so often she would brush her hand against mine by accident. I could also see her glance at me every now and then. I think that's a good sign.

I turned in my seat to talk to Cormac. "Did you enjoy yourself today?"

"Yeah. It was so much fun. That is the best place in the whole wide world," he cried, jumping in his seat. "Mom had lots of fun too. Did you see her spin round and round and round?" He moved his head in circles. "I was getting dizzy looking at her." He giggled and fell abck into his seat.

"I know. I was getting dizzy too," I answered him, smiling. "What did you like best?"

"Um... Everything. Especially the pancakes. No, wait, my favorite was mom spinning," Cormac answered.

I nodded, turned around and looked out the window. Watching Bella spinning, watching Bella in general was my favourite part of any day.

"That was by far my favorite, too. She looked beautiful," I murmured to myself.

The rest of the drive home was quiet. Cormac was nearly falling asleep in the backseat because of the early rise this morning.

As Bella pulled into the driveway, she froze. There was two police officers. She parked the car and got out.

Cormac opened the door for me, and we walked towards them. They were staring at Bella with wide eyes - obviously shocked about her attire.

She opened the door and let them through into her house. They walked into the kitchen, and Cormac and I followed. I wasn't sure whether I was wanted or not so I stood awkwardly beside Cormac.

"Edward, will you take Cormac out into the conservatory?" she asked me. I noticed the two officers give her a funny look. Of course she didn't know they couldn't see me..

I nodded and led Cormac out. Bella closed the glass door behind her. She didn't want Cormac to hear this. Maybe she didn't want me to hear what was wrong either, not that I had any right to hear. But I would like to be there in case she needed my support.

Cormac lay down on the sofa, and I wrapped the blanket around him.

"Sleep, buddy. You must be tired from all that jumping around and you were also up very early this morning," I whispered to him.

"Mmmm-kay, Edward," he breathed out, already half asleep. I hummed to him a little tune I had made up in my head. It was a sweet lullaby. I found myself humming it whenever I thought of Bella.

I looked out the glass pane of the door at Bella. She looked very stressed. I wanted to run to her, wrap my arms around her, and comfort her, but the stupid door was in the way. Damn me and my stupid inability to open doors.

I don't know how long the officers were there for but they eventually left. Bella looked tormented. She lay her head on her hands and leaned against the table. Her shoulders started shuddering. My poor Bella was crying and there was nothing I could do. I was in agony watching her pain. Her pain caused me pain.

What had happened? Is it her father? Rosalie? Alice? Did something happen to one of them?

After what seemed a life time, Bella eventually raised her head, She wiped her eyes and walked out the door. She came back into the kitchen about a half hour later. She had changed into a black, pinstripe, trouser suit. Her long mahogany hair that had fallen down into gentle waves this morning was pulled back into a tight bun. She had Cormac's bag in her hands.

She opened the door and walked over to Cormac.

"Sweetheart?" She shook him gently. "You have to wake up. I have to go away for a little while so you are going to stay at Alice's for a few days. Okay?" She spoke to him gently.

He nodded slowly. He was still very tired so she slung his bag on her shoulder and picked him up. Once she had him in the car, only then did she turn to acknowledge me.

"I think you should go home Edward," she said softly, not looking me in the eye.

I was confused. What was wrong? Why couldn't she talk to me about it?

"Bella what's wrong? Tell me. I can help," I pleaded with her. I didn't want us to part like this.

"You can't help with this Edward," she replied, her voice breaking. I could the tears about to break in her eyes. "Do you need a lift anywhere?" she asked, her voice a little stronger.

"No thanks. I'll walk," I answered her.

She nodded, and I saw one tiny tear slide down her cheek. I cupped her face in my hand and made her look me in the eye. I wiped away the tear and stared into her beautiful brown eyes before turning in the direction of the road.

I'll return to Cormac later. First I need to time to think and hopefully make sense of the situation that I'm in.

I walked away, not knowing when I'd see Bella again. It was agony.

**A/n Oohh so what's up with Bella? Review and it might give me the inspiration to write get started on the next chapter. I've been pretty busy since I last updated. Hopefully tomorrow I won't be so busy and I'll get time to write.**

**Anyway I hav some ideas for new stories and I was wondering which one I should start first. I might wait until IFYCSMN is finished, I haven't decided yet. So here they are**

**This Animal I have become: Jasper and Bella were in the vampire armies together. They left, both fighting a battle with the monster inside them. Will the Cullens be able to help them find themselves when all seems lost?**

**A Trip Worth Taking: Jasper has to go on a conference in Ireland. Bella and Alice tag along. Will anyone save her from the wild Irish hillside when she falls and is left all alone? Who also is the enchanting man on horseback?**

**Hmmm. Edward with a gorgeous Irish accent lol.**

**My Saviour: Bella is unhappily married. She meets Edward - a young soldier who manages to save her life in more was than one.**

**What If?: The split second moments can take a life down one path and form another what if? path. What if Bella's chance of meeting her true love depended on her catching a train? What if she misses that train? Bella's life slides between parallel stories that show what happens if she does or does not catch that train.**

**What if? is based on the film Sliding Doors.**

**I'll put up a pole for you to vote for the one you want me to get started on first.**

**Anyway REVIEW people REVIEW. **

**Helen =]**


	10. White walls and reconciliations

**If You Could See Me Now**

_Disclaimer: I do not own Twilight or Cecelia Ahern's If You Could See Me Now. This is just my version of it using Twilight characters. I've changed the storyline but some incidents that occur may seem similar to those that appear in the book._

**A/N I'm focusing on Rose's and Bella's relationship in this chapter. Hope you like it.**

**_Chapter 10: White walls and Reconciliations._**

**Bpov**

I watched as Edward walked away from me and I felt like my heart was being torn out of my chest. It was like my heart was attached to him and the further he walked away from me, the more it hurt.

He had looked at me so lovingly before he walked away. I felt my heart flutter with the intensity of his eyes. Being around him numbed the pain, but the further he got from me, the more intense the pain became.

I didn't want to admit it to myself but I need him. I need Edward even though I've only known him a day. It's like he has me under a spell. When I'm with him, I feel is as if everything will be okay. When he's gone, I snap out of the reverie and I'm dragged back to reality.

Once he turned the corner and was out of my sight, I got into the car. I need to hurry and leave Cormac at Alice's so I can see Rosalie. She might not want to see me, but I need to see her. I need to know she's okay. I want us to be close again, like we were when we were little girls.

_FLASHBACK_

_The thunder rolled outside. It sounded like someone was smashing rocks against each other. There was a flash as the lightning crashed outside my window. The wind was howling and the rain was bombarding the window. I was five years old and scared out of my wits._

_I was quivering under the blankets of my bed. The tears streamed down my face, making my hair stick to my face. I clung to my teddy bear, Franklin._

_"Bella," I heard someone whisper. I jumped. Who was it? Was it a monster?_

_I peeked from under the blankets and sighed when I saw Rose. _

_"Bella," she whispered again. "Are you okay?" _

_"I'm scared," I sobbed. Rose came running over and climbed in beside me. She wrapped her arms around me and smoothed my hair._

_"Sshhh, Bells," she comforted me. "It'll be okay. It's only a storm. It'll pass. The thunder and lightning are out there." She pointed to the window. "Not in here.." She pointed to my room._

_I hugged her tighter and murmured, "But I'm still scared."_

_"Don't worry! The lightning is getting further away. Do you know how I know? Count the seconds betweeen each flash. One, two, three, four..."_

_The lightning flashed and I jumped again. Rose soothed me again, patting my hair and hugging me tighter._

_It flashed again. We had counted to six that time. Again, it flashed. I managed to count to eight._

_"See, my pretty Bella, it's getting farther away," she whispered in the darkness. _

_"Thank you, Rose," I mumbled._

_"It's okay, Bells. You're my little sister. I'll always protect you. I love you lots. Now sleep baby sister, sleep."_

_She muttered into my hair and started humming my lullaby. Mommy always hummed it to me before I went to sleep._ _I felt my eyelids get heavy, and the last thing I saw was my big sister, Rose, smiling at me with nothing but care in her eyes._

_END FLASHBACK_

Back then, I thought Rose would always be there to protect me. I thought she would keep her promise, but she didn't. Now she needs me to help and protect her. I was being the big sister now.

I pulled up to Alice's house, and she answered the door.

"Bella what's wrong?" she asked, her voice full of concern.

"It's Rose," I cried out. "She's in hospital. I need you to keep Cormac for a few days. I'll explain everything once I get my head around it myself."

I hugged Cormac and kissed him on the forehead. "Mommy has to stay with Aunt Rose for a little while, but I'll try to be back as soon as I can. I love you."

I hugged him again as he said, "Bye, Mommy. Love you, too." I stood up, hugged Alice and got into my car.

I found it hard to keep back the tears as I drove to the hospital. The words that Jared said will haunt me forever.

_"I'm sorry Bella. Rose was in an ... accident. We found her at her house in pretty bad shape, but we got her to the hospital just in time. I'm sorry but ... she ... had consumed a lethal mix of alcohol and painkillers. Whether it was on purpose or not, we don't know."_

Had Rose really tried to commit suicide? Why would she so such a thing? Did she really think there was no other way to sort through her problems? I thought that if she really needed to, she could come to me.

I want things to be right between us from now on. I want us to be close again. I want us to be sisters again. I want us to laugh together and be able to talk to each other like when we were younger.

It's amazing how things change over the years. When I left for college, everything was fine. She was still talking to me, but then she started going out with James, the local bad boy. He was a bad influence on our Rose. She dropped out of college, started drinking a lot, and even got involved in drugs.

Then when our mom died, things got worse. She flitted from job to job, her drinking got worse, sometimes she would even disappear for days on end. Our already strained relationship became non-existent unless, of course, she needed money. No matter the amount of abuse she hurled at me, I never refused her the money. I guess I hoped that someday she might actually appreciate everything that I've done for her. I hoped someday she might mean it when she says, "Thanks, sis."

I left my car in the hospital parking lot, and went into the reception. The woman there looked at me as I entered. She seemed to be expecting me. I remember now that her name is Mrs. Meleady. She was in her mid-fifties and had short brown hair, with streaks of gray in it. Her hazel eyes were full of pity as she looked at me from behind her square glasses.

"I'm sorry to hear about your sister, Isabella. She's on the third floor, room 10D."

I nodded my thanks and walked through the double doors to find her room. I felt suffocated in this hospital. The white walls shrowded in around me, bringing back too many painful memories - Sam lying cold and dead in the morgue, my mother wired up to machines with needles sticking out of her, fading away before my very eyes, now I'd add Rose and her injuries to my memories.

I found the room and went inside. She was lying there with her eyes closed, her chest rising and falling slowly. She had an oxygen mask on to help her breathing. There was a large needle sticking from her arm. It was connected to the IV beside her bed.

I sat down and watched her sleeping for a little bit. The steady beep from the heart monitor was - for some unknown reason - quite comforting.

Rose's eyelids started to twitch, then they fluttered open. She smiled weakly at me.

"Hey, big sis." I smiled at her. I felt like crying right now. The immense relief and joy I felt at seeing her smile at me was overwhelming.

"Hey, lil' sis," she replied hoarsely.

"How are you feeling?"

"Pretty crappy right now." Oh Rose. Even when she sick, she tries to be funny.

I laughed softly. "Yeah, I imagine you would." I paused and she looked at me. There were so many things I wanted to say to her, but where to start. "Rose? Why? If you were in trouble or you needed someone to talk to ... I'm here. I know it may not seem like it, but I'll always be willing to help you. You're my big sister," I said to her.

"Bella. I know what you think but I didn't try to kill myself. I was stupid. James and I got into a fight, and I thought taking painkillers would help the pain. I was too drunk to think that they only help physical pain not emotional. I didn't want to make you worry."

She looked in to my eyes, her blue eyes filling with tears until they started creeping down her face. Like she did when I was younger, I wiped them away and smoothed her hair.

"Bella, I'm so sorry. I've been such a lousy sister these past few years but I want you to know that I love you. Always have, always will. I want you to know that I admire you and your strength. You've been acting like the big sister since before Mom died. When I would stumble into my room drunk, you would help me. You would never tell Mom and Dad either. Then you had to raise a child on your own, and you've done a wonderful job. Cormac is the most sweetest and smartest kid I know, and that's all thanks to you. I'm so proud of you. I also want to tell you that I always appreciated it when you would help me with money problems."

I couldn't stop the tears from falling now. I smiled at her and she smiled back. "Thanks," I managed to choke out. "You have no idea how much that means to me."

"When I get out of here, I want to sort out my life but I won't be able to do it on my own."

I took her hand and gave it a gentle squeeze.

"I'll be right with you. Every step of the way."

**Okay so show me the love people and you know how you do that? You review. It's simple. Just click on that little button below there and type something even if it is just to say "update" although I would love it if you could share your thoughts on where you see this going and if there is any way I could improve.**

**I want you all to read Leon McFrenchington's FF - Hunter. It is beyond awesome. If you do read it, then review it too because everyone loves reviews and trust me Leon deserves to be told how awesome, brilliant, fantastic and amazing his story is. =] **

**Summary: A Hunter finds himself in Forks; when he comes across the Cullens,  
will his dark past reveal itself to be another problem for the vampires? Is he  
a danger to them or a friend? Sequel to Breaking Dawn, full summ in, up wk,  
R&R please, NOT Hunter like James - totally worth checking out.**

**Also check out Darling Summers has written a new song fic based on Taylor Swift's Breathe. It's also awesom so check that out too. Please. =]**

**I've been pretty busy this week. My friends and I are organising a trip to Galway City for a weekend and what started out as 6 people party has now turned into 12-14 party. It should be good fun but I'd still prefer to have a smaller group. What's worse is that they expect me to find them accommodation and I was only planning to find it for my close friends which was the original 6. Aagh hormonal 16-17 year olds looking for a weekend away from mum and dad! Save me. lol**

**Helen =]**


	11. What to do? What to do? What to do?

**If You Could See Me Now**

_Disclaimer: I do not own Twilight or Cecelia Ahern's If You Could See Me Now. This is just my version using Twilight characters. I've changed the storyline but some incidents that occur may seem similar to those that appear in the book._

_**Chapter 11: What to do? What to do? What to do?**_

**Epov**

Walking away from Bella, not knowing when I was going to see her again, was pure agony. It was worse than that. It was as if I were being burned alive inside. I was causing myself this pain. I could take her up on the offer to drive me somewhere... but where? You can't exactly drive to headquarters. There isn't an exact location to where it's situated. Any person like me just starts to walk and sort of ends up there, if that's where they want to go.

I didn't want to go back there. Not yet. I needed time to think about things. I don't know what is happening between Bella and me. It is so much more than my normal friendships. It's something deeper. I do know that when I see her, my heart swells with joy, that I feel it's going to burst out of my chest. When I'm with her and Cormac, I feel complete, as if we're the only people in the world.

Today, in the meadow, was heaven. It was bliss. It was by far my favorite day, until we returned to the house and those two police officers were waiting for Bella. She was hurting, and she wouldn't tell me why. There was nothing I could do to help.

I kept walking, not paying attention to where I was going. I knew that I would eventually end up at the headquarters. Carlisle would need an update on the entire situation.

Once again, I found myself outside headquarters. This place usually made me feel at home. It was a place of comfort, but now it was the last place I wanted to be. I didn't want to face Carlisle and the questions that I couldn't answer. I couldn't face everyone else so happy and content, when I would rather be with Cormac and Bella.

They don't understand. They don't understand my connection with Bella. They all think that I should leave, now that I've talked things through with Cormac. They can't comprehend that I'm already in too deep.

I heard the laughter die down as I entered the meeting room. They all looked up as I entered, their faces full of worry. I knew they could sense my foul mood and confused state.

Emmett seemed to be in a better mood than the last time I saw him. He had fresh grass stains on his jeans. It's obvious he has a new best friend. His eyes are bright and his cheeks flushed from playing outside.

"Hey dude! Are you okay?" he asked. His good mood darkened when he saw me.

"Can we just get this meeting over with, please?" I snapped impatiently. The sooner I got away from here, the sooner I got back to Cormac, and maybe Bella.

"I was just asking a simple question," Emmett mumbled. The others seemed stunned at my tone of voice. I've never snapped at anyone before.

"Edward," Carlisle said calmly, his voice full with disappointment. "Emmett was only asking how you were feeling. There was no need to snap at him like that."

I sighed. "I'm sorry. I'm just in a bit of a mood today. I didn't mean to take it out on Emmett." I looked apologetically at everyone.

Once everyone had forgiven me Carlisle started the meeting. "So, Leah? What's going on with you and Freddy?"

"He's being bullied at school. He's such a sweet thing, and he doesn't deserve the abuse being given to him. Nobody deserves to be bullied. They are calling him names because he's a little overweight. He'll grow out of it, though, because he eats healthily and exercises regularly. I'm trying to build up his confidence by praising him, and I'm trying to help him make more friends."

We all murmured our approvals. Leah was an expert when it came to friends being bullied. She always knows what to do to make the person feel better.

"I hope everything goes well for him," Kim offered.

Carlisle turned to her then. "How are you and Emer getting on?"

"Everything is great. Our little tea party was so much fun. She's started pre-school now and has come out of her shell more. I don't think she'll need me for much longer, but it's okay."

Carlisle nodded and turned to Emmett. "Who's your new friend? We need as much information as you can give us for the archives."

"Well, Albert is just great. He is twelve years old. His parents are divorced. He lives with his dad but his older brother lives with his mom. I'm guessing that's why he needs me; to act as an older brother for a little while."

"The poor dear. It must be tough on him, not being able to see his mother and brother every day," Esme sympathised.

Esme then told us about her elderly friends. She mentioned one in particular, and Carlisle looked up sharply.

"Excuse me? What was that name again?" Carlisle demanded.

Esme stared at him, stunned. He has never spoken to anyone like that before. Not ever.

"Um ... I said S-Sarah E-Elliot," Esme replied, her voice shaking.

Carlisle seemed to recover from his episode, and smiled at us. It's forced and strained. It doesn't reach his eyes.

"What's wrong, Carlisle?" Kim asked, her quiet voice penetrating the silence in the room.

He ignores the question and turns to me.

"Edward. Do you have any more information on Cormac?"

I sighed. How was I to tell them that Bella can actually see me now? How was I to tell them that I think I'm falling in love with her? Did I have to tell them? Would they guess anyway?

"I talked to Cormac about his father. He died before Cormac was born. He says he doesn't mind, and I think he's telling the truth. I think he's becoming more confident and more involved in class. The more important matter is that Bella can now see me." I paused to let them absorb that piece of information.

"No way," Emmett whispered.

"Freaky," Kim and Leah said in unison.

Jacob just sat there with a look of shock on his face.

"How very interesting," Esme mused to herself. "Maybe Edward could help me with my job now." She chuckled quietly to herself.

Carlisle didn't look shocked. He didn't look angry or happy. He just sat there, a blank expression on his face. I looked in his eyes and shrank back into my chair. His eyes glinted. It was as if there was fire in them.

"Edward." He warned. "You have to leave." His voice sounded rough but there was an underlying emotion present. I couldn't comprehend. Anger? No. Disappoinment? No, not that either. It couldn't be regret... Could it? What could he be regreting?

"W-what?" I choked out.

The very thought of leaving her forever made a pain tear up inside my chest. I can't do that. I need Bella. The pain reached my heart, and I clutched my chest.

"I c-cannot do that," I replied.

"It's better to leave now and save yourself from more pain from when she stops seeing you," Carlisle stated, his voice softening "After having her seeing you for so long, could you bear to have her eyes pass over you, like you weren't there? To her, you wouldn't be. It would be as if you dissapeared off the face of the planet."

As Carlisle said this, the truth dawned on me. The horror of it, made that searing pain inside me increase ten-fold.

I could never be with Bella.

No matter how much I wanted to stay with her, no matter how much she wanted me to stay, I was going to go away after three months. I had no choice in the matter.

"B-but, what if I don't want to leave her?" I muttered sadly to myself. I could feel the tears welling up.

"You love her," Esme said. It wasn't a question. It was a statement.

Do I love her? I want to be around her all the time. I want to hear her laugh, see her smile. I want to wrap my arms around her and never let her go. I wish I could feel her soft lips on mine. When I'm with her, I feel light-headed, but in a good way. I get butterflies in my stomach when she looks at me or says my name. She is on my mind every minute, every hour of every day.

_Is that love?_

I didn't reply because there was nothing to say.

"This meeting is adjourned," Carlisle said and started shuffling his papers. "Oh, and Edward. I would appreciate it if you could step into my office. We have things to discuss further." He pointed to the door behind.

Carlisle never invited people into his office. In all my time here, I've never seen anyone except him enter it.

I gulped and stepped inside.

**A/n Hello my pretties! Guess what? More snow is forecast for over here tomorrow. So I'm keeping my fingers crossed that the school will be closed. I'm desperate to have a day off even though I won't be in next week because of my work experience and then the week after that I have the mid-term. Woo Hoo!!**

**Okay a little story for you all. I was in my Home Economics class and the topic was eggs. My friend then asked the teacher (she was being totally serious btw) "Are the eggs we eat a chicken's miscarriage?" You can imagine how we reacted to that lol.**

**I've been meaning to mention this for a while now but kept forgetting. I want to thank ste11una for reading my story in one go and then reviewing every chapter. You should also read her story I'm Not Made Of Steel. It's pretty cool. Bella's sister dies, leaving her with her nephew. She moves to Forks to live with Charlie and meets the Cullens. I'm really interested to see where this is going. If you do read it then review it too because everyone loves reviews and she deserves them.**

**I want to thank you all for getting me to over 200 reviews. I've decided to be mean and I might not update until I get 250 reviews for this story, so show me the love and review. =]**

**p.s. The pole is still up about which story to start on next. The summaries for them in the other chapter weren't great but they will most likely be changed. If you want any more information on them then mention it in your review or PM me. I really on your feedback on this.**

**Helen =]**


	12. Sarah Elliot

**A/n I know I said I might be mean and not update until I got 250 reviews for this story but well I changed my mind. I wanted to get this out and get Carlisle's weird behaviour explained. I want to thank my beta twilight-is-lovee for doing this even though she's not feeling good. I want to thank everyone who's stuck with this story so far. I love you all. So here you go. Enjoy.

* * *

If You Could See Me Now.**

_Disclaimer: I do not own Twilight or Cecelia Ahern's If You Could See Me Now. This is just my version using Twilight Characters. I have changed the storyline but some incidents that occur may seem similar to those that appear in the book._

**_Chapter 12: Sarah Elliot._**

**Epov**

I gulped and stepped inside.

Carlisle's office was exactly as I imagined. It was circular in shape, and shelves lined the walls. The shelves were filled with hundreds, maybe even thousands of leather bound books. In the center was his large oak table. There was a computer and a small pile of papers stacked neatly on the table.

Carlisle sat down in his chair and glanced at the only other thing on his desk; a silver photoframe. It was facing him so I couldn't see who the picture was off. He gently touched the picture and had a look of longing on his face. I felt awkward for a moment, like I was interrupting a lovely dream or a sweet memory.

I cleared my throat, and Carlisle shook his head.

"I'm sorry Edward. I just got lost in memories." He glanced at the picture on his desk again. I was curious now. Who was it in that picture? An family member? A lost love?

The only family Carlisle has is us; myself, Esme, Jacob, Emmett, Kim, and Leah. We're all one, big family. So if it was one of us why should he hide it from us? I don't think it was an old lover because as far as I know, Carlisle has never had a romantic relationship. Imaginary friends don't really have time for relationships because we spend all our time with our Best Friend.

I was lucky with Bella because she was my Best Friend, which meant I got to spend all the time in the world with her. Although what Carlisle had said made me think. Bella and I can only spend time with each other for three months. Would I have to leave her? If it's for the best, then should I leave her? If it causes her more pain to leave later on, then should I leave sooner? Would it pain her at all for me to leave?

The thought that she cared nothing for me, nothing at all, not even a smidge, hurt because I cared for her deeply, and according to Esme, I loved her. The thoughts of Bella gnawed at my mind. They eroded away my entire being, filling the empty spaces until all that was left was her. My Bella.

"I called you in here to talk to you about your situation. It's for both your own and Bella's well-being if you leave now." He paused before continuing. "Perhaps if I told you a story about a man and woman who were in the same situation as yourself."

"Carlisle, I really don't think it's story time. I'd rather just go back to Cormac and Bella," I said to him, and started to get out of my chair.

He raised a hand to stop me. "Please. Just listen."

I sighed and sat back into my chair. I nodded and he continued.

"Fifty-three years ago, there was a young man. He had been one of us for years, he thought he had seen it all until one day a young woman saw him and spoke to him. She was the most beautiful woman he had ever seen. She had the most gorgeous raven hair that fell in long locks down her back. Her eyes were like water. When she was calm, they were a beautiful bright blue like an ocean. When she was sad they misted over like an overcast sky. The sharp flame blue pierced into your very soul when she was angry. The young man was completely and irrevocably in love with her. She loved him in return too.

"She knew about him, about how nobody could see him but her. It didn't matter to them. Every night from 7-8, she would leave her door open and wait for him and he always came. They travelled the world together, saw sights that would forever be etched in their mind, experienced a love so strong that everything paled in comparison.

"Their love was so strong that they even managed to break the three month barrier. One day, they were out walking in a park. She was talking to him, not caring about the strange looks passer-byes gave her, when they spotted an elderly couple sitting on a park bench. The young woman turned to her love and said, 'I want us to be like that someday.'

"It was then the sad reality dawned on him. He would not age. She would. Even if they spent years together, she would grow older everyday, and he would stay the same, forever. It crushed both of them. He did what he had to do. He gave her up. He sacrificied his own happiness to give her the life she deserved. He would not be able to give her children. He would not be able to meet her friends, or talk with her family. She deserved someone better. She deserved a man that could give her everything he could not.

"Eventually she got married to another man, and had children. The woman lived a happy enough life, but she never forgot her first love. She still waited for him, every night from 7-8, and he still came. But she cannot see him now, her mind is too aged. She grew-up, but never moved on completely.

"The man found some contentment in the world, helping children, but it still hurts him, deeply," Carlisle finished and breathed in deeply. His face was scrunched up as if he was in pain, and he was rubbing the sides of his temples.

"Is that the choice I have to make? Whether or not to leave Bella?" I choked out. The realization of my decision hit me, and knocked the breath from me.

Carlisle nodded. "I know you can do it. You love her so much. I can see that for myself. You must let her go, you must be strong. Don't you want her to find another love and have a family? Don't you want her to find a father for Cormac?"

I nodded my head. Of course I wanted all that for her. I wanted Bella to have the best life possible. I only hoped that it involved me. I don't think that's going to happen now.

"Th-thank you Carlisle for telling me this. I n-need to go now," I stuttered before rising out of my chair.

I walked to the door, but paused before leaving. I turned to Carlisle. He was staring intently at the photo again.

"Carlisle? Do you mind me asking who the picture is off?"

He smiled at me and said, "Of course not. Here." He turned the photo around, and I gasped.

In the photo, was a young woman with long black hair. She was smiling brightly and was staring at whoever was taking the picture. Her eyes were the most dazzling shade of blue I'd ever seen; so clear and bright like a calm ocean on a sunny day.

It couldn't be the woman from the story could it?

"W-who is she?" I asked.

"That's Sarah Elliot. My Sarah."

**A/n I know you will be wanting Edward and Bella to break the 3 month barrier but that won't be happening. If you want an explanation as to why not then ask me.**

**Please review. Please, I'm on my knees begging(not really.) But seriously if you can click on the Add to favourites button then surely you can click on the Review button. **

**I've written a new one-shot. It's called Crack the Shutters. It's based on Snow Patrol's new song Crack the Shutters. I haven't posted it yet but I'm just telling you all to keep an eye out for it. I'll probably mention in an A/N when I've got it posted. **

**It's snowing here ... again. My cousin Emma and I were playing in the field- you know sliding down the hill and stuff. I was sliding down on a plastic bag and then I started going down backwards. I then crashed into a bush of rushes and did went head-over-heels and finally landed in another bush of rushes. I'm just an itsy bit sore lol. The her dad came out and we had snowball fight while her mum took photos. It was so much fun. **

**I've got my work experience this week. I'm working in the Naionra in my area. It's like daycare except you have to speak Irish. So yay I get to work with twenty 4-5 year olds. That'll be fun lol. Aaaand I've finally got the accommodation booked for my trip to Galway. That'll be happening on the 20th - I can't wait. The amount of people has also decreased from 14 to 9. That's a relief!**

**Anyway like I said before please review. =] I will send you a lovely hot chocolate and some of my mum's gorgeous treacle scone - mmmm yummy. lol**

**p.s My poll is still up. Please check it out.**

**Helen =]**


	13. Figment of My Imagination

**A/N: **Thanks so much for reviewing, my pretties. Okay, some guys thought that this wasn't going to be a happy ending because Bella and Edward wouldn't be able to get past the whole 3 month thing, but you all better calm your pretty little heads because it WILL be a happy ending. I promise you that. I have it all planned out in my head. This may sound confusing, but they do get past the 3 months, but at the same time, they don't. Lol. Confusing much? That's all I'm going to say on the matter now. You'll just have to wait and see what happens.

**B/N (beta note): **HAHA! You guys have to wait and see what happens. BUT IIIIII DOOONNNNNNN'TTTTTT! And yes, I love bragging about it, and no, I won't tell you what happens. xD  
Love, Twilight-is-lovee. Hehe, get it? "_Love_, Twilight-is-_lovee_". . . Never mind. :)

**On with it!**

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**

**If You Could See Me Now**

_Disclaimer: I do not own Twilight or Cecelia Ahern's If You Could See Me Now. This is just my version using Twilight characters. I have changed the storyline but some incidents that occur may seem similar to those that happen in the book._

**_Chapter 13: Figment of My Imagination._**

**Bpov**

Rosalie and I talked and talked until the nurses became annoyed about having to ask me to leave so many times. We talked about old times, about what went wrong, but mostly we talked about the future.

She didn't want to move in with me because she wanted to keep her independence. I agreed to look at places for her while she was in the hospital. She would be staying until the end of the week. She wanted somewhere with a reasonable price but close-by to Cormac and myself.

I also offered to help towards rent and whatever she might need until she got back on her feet and found herself a job.

"Thank you Bell-bell," Rose said, using the nickname she and my mother used to have for me. It's been over ten years since I've been called that. "You've done so much already. I'll owe you forever."

"It doesn't matter. I'll do whatever it takes to get you back on your feet," I replied.

The nurse came in then with a face on her that could cut stone, so I reluctantly gathered my things and bid goodbye to Rose. I promised to come and see her tomorrow.

I drove back to Alice's house. She opened the door and came running out before I had even gotten out of the car. Her short frame pulled me into a tight hug that left me gasping for my breath.

She let go of me and dragged me into the kitchen. "Cormac went to sleep alright. He started asking for Edward." She rolled her eyes. "But I managed to convince him that he'll be okay without him."

I nodded, unable to say anything. I was just trying to get my head around everything, and when she mentioned Edward, it made me remember that we hadn't exactly left on the best of terms.

"Bella, you okay?" Alice asked tentatively. She reached her hand across and placed it on mine.

"Yeah, I'm okay." I gave her a small smile.

"So ... What happened to Rose? Is she okay?" Alice asked. She wasn't being nosey, she was genuinely concerned about Rose and me.

I didn't answer, but Alice didn't push me. She knew that I would answer once I was ready.

It was quiet for another few moments until I finally answered her.

"The police thought she tried to commit suicide, but she assured me she didn't. She had a fight with James." This time, I rolled my eyes. "And downed too much alcohol with painkillers. Apparently she was too out of it to remember that painkillers are for physical and not emotional pain." I laughed dryly. "Thankfully, she'll be alright. I'm going to try and find a place for her to stay before she gets out on Friday."

"You know she is more than welcome to stay here with me. I have this entire house to myself. She can help towards buying food and paying the mortgage as soon as she finds her feet."

"Really, Alice? That would be great. I'll let her know tomorrow. I know that you two will get along great. She could be your new shopping buddy. She actually enjoys it as much as you do."

"That's fantastic." She smiled brightly at me. "Can I go with you tomorrow to see her?"

"Sure. She'd love it. It'll give you both a chance to get to know one another. Tomorrow is Sunday, right? Well, how about I get you around three? I have some things to sort out first."

"Okay. That'll give me a chance to get some things for her room, and maybe some new clothes," she chirped. "Actually, I have to pop into the gallery for a few hours so get me there at three instead."

We changed the subject, and it wasn't long until I had to go home.

I drove slowly letting things run through my head. I needed to sort things out with Edward. But I didn't know how to get in contact with him. In fact, I knew nothing about him. I don't have a contact number or an address for him. I don't know anything about him or his family, and I am almost sure that Ekam Eveileb does not exist because I have Googled it and nothing has come up. I don't even know how old he is.

_Do you care? _

"No," I answered myself.

_But he could be dangerous. It's not only you that you have to worry about. There's Cormac. _

"Edward is not dangerous. I may not know anything else about him, but one thing I am sure about is that he is not dangerous."

_But ..._

"Just shut up," I silenced that little voice in my mind. I shook my head. I was definitely going crazy. I mean, having an argument with yourself – you don't get much crazier than that.

I finally reached my house and went upstairs to bed.

* * *

I knew I wasn't going to be so lucky as to get two nights of peaceful sleep. Last night, I tossed and turned like I did every night apart from the night before last. That was the night I met Edward. Was it really only two days ago that I met him? It seems much longer than that.

I rose early and tidied the house. I swept the floors, then vacuumed, and finally washed them. I tidied up Cormac's room and did all the washing. I polished all the surfaces and plumped the cushions of the sofa and armchairs. I put new bedclothes on the beds and by the time that was done it was still only ten thirty.

I sighed and put on the kettle to make myself some coffee. What was I going to do now? Would Edward be here soon? Would it be to early for him? Did he know I was here, waiting for him? Would he even come and see me today?

As I asked myself these questions, the doorbell rang. I got up quickly out of my chair, narrowly avoiding banging my knee on the leg of the table.

_Calm down Bella. It may not even be him. It could be anyone. _

I hurried to the door anyway.

I opened it and released the breath I didn't know I had been holding. There he was, standing on my doorstep, in the same outfit as yesterday. His bronze hair was slightly limp from the droplets of rain hanging from them. I hadn't realized it was raining.

"Edward," I sighed.

His eyes seemed sad somehow, but when he looked at me, the sadness disappeared. His face broke out into that breathtaking smile that left me struggling for breath. His eyes brightened but the sadness was still there, hidden well beneath his joy.

"Bella," he said softly.

We stood there for I don't know how long, until a large drop of water fell from his hair into his eye.

"Oh, I'm so sorry. Come inside please." I stood aside to let him past. As he passed, his body brushed against mine and once again I felt the shock of electricity run through my body.

I followed him into the kitchen and sat at the table, just like his other visit.

"Bella—"

"Edward—"

We spoke at the same time. We both chuckled lightly, and I shifted in my seat.

"Please, let me go first," I said to him. He turned to me and eventually nodded. "Edward, I'm sorry I didn't tell you last night. You were only trying to help, but I just needed time to get my head around things." As I explained everything, I held my hand out to him.

He took my hand and then spoke. "Bella, I had no right to ask you about anything. It's none of my business, but I just needed you to know that I'll always be here to help. If you want me to be here, that is."

I smiled at him, and gave his hand a squeeze.

"I really appreciate that, Edward, and right now, I need you. So don't you go disappearing on me," I joked with him.

He seemed to laugh slightly, but his smile didn't reach his eyes.

"Edward? Are you okay?" I asked him. If he needed someone to talk to, then I'd be there for him.

He smiled slightly. "A friend of mine, he's actually like a father to me, well he's received some bad news, and it's affected my entire family."

"Oh, I'm sorry," I sympathized. "I hope he'll be alright."

"He'll manage. Esme will help him through it."

Hoping to take his mind off it, and also, hoping to learn more about him, I asked about his family.

"Tell me about your family?"

"Well Esme is like the mother figure. She's really kind and works with the elderly. Carlisle, my father figure is one of the greatest people I know. He's in the same line of work as I am. Emmett and Jacob are my brothers. Emmett is around the same age as me, but he acts like a five year old sometimes. Jacob is the same age as Cormac and is such a great kid. I have two sisters, Leah and Kim. They are complete opposites, but also best friends. Leah is a tomboy and is twelve. She's really protective of her family and friends. Kim is eight and absolutely adores pink and frilly things."

Hearing him talk about his family was amazing. I could tell he loved them all very much. It also comforted me some. It made him more real to me. It made him seem less like a figment of my imagination.

We continued to just talk, and it was great. We talked about everything; our hopes and dreams, our favorite colors – his just so happened to be brown, our pets we had as a child. I felt sorry for him because he never actually had one.

I looked at the clock and jumped. "Oh crap!"

"What? Bella what's wrong?" Edward asked worriedly.

"I was supposed to get Alice in Port Angeles five minutes ago. She's going to kill me," I groaned.

"Shh, Bella," he soothed. "Just call her and explain what happened."

I called Alice but when she picked up, she sounded slightly annoyed, like I was interrupting something. I explained to her why I would be late. She didn't seem to mind at all that I would be nearly an hour late for her.

I offered to leave Edward home, but again, he refused, saying the walk would do him good.

As I got into the car, he took my hand and held it in his. He looked into my eyes and seemed reluctant to let go.

"I'll see you tomorrow?" I asked, trying to keep the hope out of my voice.

He smiled and this time it reached his eyes. "Of course." Edward squeezed my hand and finally let it drop. It's odd because I felt empty and alone without him by my side.

I saw him looking at my car as I drove away. Finally he turned and started to walk in the opposite direction.

* * *

I got to the gallery in record time, for me anyway. Alice came bouncing out of the door with a huge grin on her face.

She hopped into the car and nearly deafened me with her scream.

"AAAAAGGGGGHHHHHH!!!! BELLA! BELLA! BELLA! I THINK I'M IN LOVE!!!"

"Excuse me?"

She jumped in her seat and started shaking all over.

"I have met the cutest guy EVER! He's the new guy at work. His name is Jasper, and he is so sweet. I spent all day just talking to him. I really, really like him already. I hope he likes me, too." She sighed and leaned back into her seat. "He's perfect Bella."

"Good for you, Alice. Good for you," I said to her.

I genuinely was happy for my friend. She deserved to be happy with a man she loved, and if this Jasper is to be him, then I'll welcome him with open arms.

**A/n Please review!! I finally got round to introducing Jasper into this. **

** Btw some people asked me for an explanation but I couldn't give them one because they were anonymous reviewers. =]**

**Isn't twilight-is-lovee just evil for taunting you all like that. lol**

**Now normally I'd be boring you all with my a/n but I really don't have anything to talk about so consider yourselves lucky this time. I know there was something I wanted to say but I can't for the life of me remember what it was. Oh I remeber now - I have a new one-shot posted. It's not the one I mentioned last chapter, it's a different one inspired by my day in th snow. It's called Emmett Will You Be My Sleigh? Totally OOC.**

**Anywho, like I said before review please.**

**Helen =]**


	14. Introducing Jasper

**A/n **This chapter takes place about a week after the last chapter. Bella has met Jasper and they are quite good friends. Alice adores him, so she stares longingly at him for hours on end. Jasper is blissfully unaware of this even though he harbours a secret love for her, he is to scared to act on it.

This is just a filler really. I don't think I will bother with jealous Edward. There is an important a/n at the end of this.

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**If You Could See Me Now**

_Disclaimer: I do not own Twilight or Cecelia Ahern's If You Could See Me Now. This is just my version using Twilight characters. I have changed the storyline but some incidents that occur may seem similar to those that happen in the book._

_**Chapter 14: Introducing Jasper. **_

**Bpov**

Cormac has gone to stay overnight with Tom Newton. He was going straight after school. I'm glad, yet anxious at the same time. I'm glad because I won't have to face his father, Mike. He's a nice enough person but sometimes, I see the way he looks at me, and it creeps me out.

I'm anxious because Cormac hasn't ever stayed at a friend's house before. Of course, he's stayed with Alice, but that is different. She's like an aunt to him. Would he get scared without me? What happens if he and Tom fall out? What if something happens to him? What if he gets hurt?

I shook off the thoughts and gazed around my office. I looked down at all the displays on my desk and sighed. I really don't feel like working. There was a buzz going round the office because of my new clothes and Jasper, the new guy.

My clothes were topic of gossip because I had decided to wear a gray, high waist, knee-length skirt, a white blouse, and a red belt. I also wore a pair of red heels to match. I don't see what the big deal is, just because I decided to add a bit of colour to my style.

Jasper is the one that Alice claimed her undying love for on Sunday evening. He's very tall, much much taller than Alice. He's got deep blue eyes and shaggy blond hair that falls into his eyes. He's from Texas so has quite a southern drawl. Whenever he speaks, I see Alice swoon behind him. I'm amazed by her reaction to him. I've never seen her act like this around anybody. Alice is never shy, and she doesn't hide - she really must love him.

I've seen him around the gallery, and I've introduced myself to him. We've actually become quite good friends. He's a lovely person. Very easy to get along with.

There's a knock on my door and - speak of the devil - Jasper's head pops round the door.

"Hi, Isabella right?" he asks awkwardly from my door.

"That's what it says on my door, but please, Bella's just fine. I'd actually prefer Bella," I said, hoping to break the ice. If only we had a fat penguin. "Come in, come in, was there something that you wanted?"

He slides into my office and closes the door behind him. "Um ... I was wondering ... " He was looking around my office, as if he was thinking about something to talk about. His eyes landed on the books on the bookcase behind me. "If I could borrow some books for a new display I'm working on? It's to do with the Civil War," he said soundind relieved that he had thought of something.

"Of course." I scan through it, picking out the best books for him. Altogether, I hand him six books. "Here you go. There's no rush to return them." I smiled at him.

"Thanks." He pauses and looks as though he's going to say something else. He must have decided against it, because he turns and heads towards the door.

"Jasper?" I called. He paused, shoulders tensed. "That's not the real reason why you came here, is it?" I asked him.

His shoulders relax, and he turns to face me. "How did you know?" His voice sounds relieved but slightly embarrased.

"I'm pretty good at reading people," I answer truthfully. "Besides, you made it pretty obvious. I know for a fact that you should have enough books on the Civil War in your own office, since that is your speciality. You should have no need for mine." I chuckle and he smiles bashfully at me.

"I didn't think about that," he says, a slight pink tinge to his cheeks.

"So why _are _you here?" I ask, my curiosity ignited.

"It's about your friend Alice," he says.

"What about her?" I ask, trying to hide my smile. "Do you have a problem with her?"

He looks taken aback. "Oh no." He shakes his head vigorously. "No, not at all. There's nothing wrong with her. She's perfect." His eyes widen when he says the last part.

I stare at him, my mouth agape. "She's perfect, huh? But you never talk to her, how would you know?" I ask, laughing at him.

He starts to chuckle along with me. "I know, but I've seen the way she is with people, and words can't describe how beautiful she is." His smile widens and his voice softens when he speaks of her.

"You really like her, don't you?" I ask. He nods and I squeal. I actually squeal in delight. He looks at me strangely, knowing me well enough to know that I do not usually act like that.

"Well, why don't you ask her out?" I ask him.

He nearly chokes when I mention that. "W-what? I couldn't. She wouldn't want to."

I smile at him. "You never know until you ask her."

"But she could say no," he answers, sounding scared.

"She could also say yes," I tell him, hoping to cheer him up.

He raises his head to look at me. "I guess so."

I walk over to him and put my hands on his shoulders and look into his eyes. "Listen to me. Just ask her out. You could be surprised by her answer. Trust me. I'm her best friend," I try to reassure him.

"Thank you, Bella."

"No problem, Jasper. If you really like someone then you should take the chance and ask them out. You should never look back on your life and have regrets."

He nods his head and gives me a hug. "Thanks again, Bella. You're a really good friend."

I release myself from his hug, but I was still standing quite close to him. "Okay, lover boy. Go get her." I laughed at him.

At that moment, Alice pops her head into the room. "Bella, have yo-" She stops when she saw Jasper and I. Her eyes narrow at our close proximity.

"Never mind," she says harshly, and slams the door.

"Damn it!" I sigh and turn to go after her.

"What's wrong with Alice?" Jasper asks, confused. "Why did she react like that?"

"She thought there was something going on between us because of how close we were standing together. I really need to explain things to her," I answer him.

"She what? How could she think that? Why would she care?"

I raise an eyebrow at him. He looks at me and his lips form an "o" shape once he understood. I turn to the door again and open it.

"Bella?" Jasper calls.

"What?" I turn to him. I think I was going to go dizzy with all the spinning I'm doing. A huge grin is plastered on his face, and his eyes are twinkling.

"I think I'll go explain things to her." And with that, he walks, or rather, runs out the door.

I can only stand there and smile to myself. Ah! They really are perfect for each other.

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**A/n Sorry it's so short.**

**Okay so would you prefer if I skipped forward about 2 months so then Edward would only have about 2 weeks left with Bella? This would include lots of fluff but I would also continue with the story.**

**OR**

**Would you prefer to have a few more chapters before skipping ahead? It would really only be fillers and I don't think there would be much fluff.**

**Also I'm thinking about leaving the other stories I was going to start writing because I have thought of a totally new idea. Bella's being abused by her mother's fiancee. Renee is actually her aunt and lives in Forks with Charlie. She moves to Forks after the police find out and that's where she meets the Cullens. They live next door to Charlie and Renee. This story is a lot darker than anything I've ever written but I have so many ideas for it. I've finished the first chapter but I want to wait until IYCSMN is nearly complete or complete. I was listening to the song Concrete Angel by Martina McBride when the idea popped into my head. I know that this type of story has been written many times before but I want to take a stab at it. Here's a little peek at what I've written so far**

He grabbed the lampshade on the small table in the corner and brought it against my head.

I could feel small pieces stick in my head and something warm was flowing into my eye. Suddenly everything went black.

I could no longer feel anything, see anything or hear anything.

The pain was gone.

The nightmare finished.

I lay there, letting myself float along in the darkness, letting the nothingness wash over me.

It was nice.

**Anyway please review. =] **

**Helen =]**


	15. Don't you ever change?

Just a tiny bit of fluff before I skip ahead. Also some things mentioned in this will make way for things to happen later on.

Oh yeah to my anonymous reviewer yassmine - I'm going to take that as a compliment because normal people scare me too. Who even decided what normal is?

* * *

**If You Could See Me Now**

_Disclaimer: I do not own Twilight or Cecelia Ahern's If You Could See Me Now. This is just my version using Twilight characters. I have changed the storyline but some incidents that occur maay seem similar to those that happen in the book._

**_Chapter 15: Don't you ever change._**

**Bpov**

Thankfully, Jasper explained the truth to Alice and she just burst out laughing but thought it very sweet of him to explain everything. He spent the rest of the day with a smile plastered on his face, and she was back to her cheery self. She also decided that she didn't need a lift home today because she and Jasper were going out to get to know one another better.

I wasn't surprised to see Edward waiting outside my door for me to get home. It's become a sort of routine but that didn't stop my heart rate from increasing whenever I saw him. It didn't stop my hands from being clammy and my breathing to quicken when his entire face lights up upon seeing me, like I was the sole reason for his happiness. My breathing stopped altogether when he would gaze at me, penetrating my soul with his emerald eyes. And when I touched him, that spark always jumped through my body, leaving the hair at the back of my neck on end.

"Bella," he breathed out. The same as every day, it was a mix of relief and joy. It was as if he was scared that I wouldn't come home, that I wouldn't come back to him. I felt my stomach flutter at the thought that Edward might actually care for me. A lot.

"Edward. What a surprise," I joked with him. He chuckled lightly. His eyes sparkled, and I couldn't help but stare at his beautiful pale lips as he laughed.

"You ready to go inside Bella?" he asked with a slight smirk on his face. My cheeks flushed red, and I knew I had been caught staring. I lowered my head and mumbled a response. "Bella, you know I don't have the best of hearing, so please don't hide your beautiful, blushing face from me while speaking." He placed his fingers gently on my chin and raised upwards to look at him.

He called me beautiful. He thinks I'm beautiful. Of course this revelation made me blush even deeper, and once again he started to laugh.

"See that's better. Now what were you saying?"

"I was saying that yes, I'm ready to go inside."

"Okay then let's go." He pulled me up out of the car and closed the door behind him. He put one arm around my shoulder and I couldn't help but lean into him. He just smelled so ... would it be weird to say 'mouthwatering'? I used to think it smelt of pine, soap, and his aftershave, but now it was different. It smelt way better but trying to describe it was like trying to explain how freshly cut grass smells.

His arm around me tightened, and I felt a smile make it's way onto my face. He seemed to be enjoying this as much as I was, because when I looked at him, he flashed that gorgeous crooked smile at me.

I unlocked the door and stepped aside to let Edward in.

"Where's Cormac today?" he asked, moving into the living room.

"He's at his friend Tom's house. You know, Tom Newton."

"Oh right. I see." I sat on the sofa, and he walked out the door.

"Where are you going?" I asked him.

"I want you to sit down while I make you a cup of coffee," he said to me.

"Don't be silly. I can make coffee myself." I got up to join him, but he soon stopped me by picking me up bridal style and planting me straight back onto the sofa. I won't have to tell you what being that close to him did to my heart.

"Now sit," he said, grinning at me again. I melted instantly. I am constantly being dazzled by this wonderful, charming man.

"You're doing it again," I said to him.

"Doing what?" he replied, confusion evident in his voice.

"Dazzling me!" I replied, waving my hands around the place. He looked at me as if I had three heads.

"I dazzle you?"

"Yes, quite often in fact. It's quite irritating when I want to get my way."

He laughed at me then. It was nice to see him like this, because earlier this week, there seemed to be something troubling him. He wasn't himself but whatever it was musn't be a problem now.

"Right," Edward said, getting up again. "You. Stay. I'm going to make this coffee." With that said, he turned and headed out the door before I could stop him again.

A few minutes later, he re-entered with two cups of coffee. As he handed me mine, it was only then that I noticed what he was wearing. It was the same outfit as the first time I saw him. In fact it was the same as every other day I've seen him.

"Edward?" He turned to me. "Do you ever change your clothes or is that a uniform?"

He looked at me. "Excuse me?"

"Your clothes. Do you ever change them? Because every time I've seen you, you're always wearing that exact same outfit."

He looked surprised at first. "Oh. No, of course I change them. It's just I have a lot of blue shirts," he said a bit too quickly. "Blue is by far my favorite."

"So I've heard," I mumbled into my coffee cup.

We were silent for a while. It wasn't uncomfortable. It was a good silence. It showed that we were just glad to be in each others company.

"Bella?"

"Hmm." I turned my head to face him.

"Do you ever think that if you took enough photos, you would show them in an exhibition?"

"Well I don't know. I mean, I'm not that good. It's only a hobby."

Edward placed our cups on the table and then took my hands in his. "I think you're good enough. I think you can really do this."

"Do what?" I narrowed my eyes at him and he squirmed in his seat. He'd planned something!

"Well, I... um... I sort of booked a room in the gallery for you to hold an exhibition of your work."

"You what?" I jumped up. "I have nowhere near enough pictures taken. When? How? Why?"

He got up too and walked over to me. I turned my back to him but he wrapped his arms around me anyway. He planted a small kiss on my head.

"You can do this, Bella. It's in two months time, so you have a few weeks to get enough pictures. I did this because I want your work to be appreciated. It brings happiness to you, so why not share what you love doing with other people?"

I unfolded my arms and turned so I was facing him and looked at him. Neither of us seemed to want to break whatever was happening between us, so we stood there in each others arms until I eventually broke the silence.

"Thank you, Edward," I said, my voice barely above a whisper. "I'll do it. You'll be there, won't you?"

"I wouldn't miss it for the world, Bella," he answered, but there was a hint of sadness in his voice.

"Edward are you okay?" I asked, worried.

"I'm perfectly content right now Bella." He smiled down at me again before kissing my forehead. "But I think it's time for you to sleep."

I yawned involuntarily, and he chuckled again. I walked him to the door, and watched him head off into the darkness.

"Are you sure you'll be okay walking?"

"Yes Bella." He turned to me and waved. "I'll see you tomorrow."

I stood at my door until I could no longer see him or hear the tune that he constantly whistles. It's a nice tune, sounds like a lullaby. He has Cormac humming it all the time, too.

I walked upstairs to my empty room and dreamt sweet dreams, mostly to do with Edward's strong arms wrapped around me once again.

**A/n Okay I thought some of you would like a bit of fluff before I move on ahead. There you go!! Now next chapter I am skipping ahead to to probably 2 weeks before her exhibition. Right now Bella has known Edward for nearly two weeks. Seems longer doesn't it lol. So add on the time I'm moving forward which is 6 weeks so Bella will have known Edward for about 2 months by then. So basically they only have a month left together well less actually because I'm mean and cutting their time short BUT trust me this is a happy ending. I know I have you all totally confused but only my beta twilight-is-lovee and my cousin fairly twisted daydreamer know what's going to happen.**

**Please read my new one shots Emmett Will You Be My Sleigh and In My Dreams.**

**Also I've started reading these stories and I think they have a lot of potential.**  
**Ste11una** - _Princess of Twilight_ - Rowan and Liam Donovan reside in Ireland, their rightful place. Their daughter Isabella both cherishes and protects her family's secret legacy. What will happen when she meets a mysterious family that shares an equally binding and much darker secret? B&E

**JayLynn-wrtngdncr** - _Too Late_ - Edward comes to see whether or not Bella is happy, but every time he sees her, she is with Jacob and looks just fine. What will he do? Will Bella see him in time or will she have to go through life hiding her pain for the rest of her life?

**Anyway show me love and review and I will send you your very own Emmett in the post - my brother. Seriously does anyone want him? **

**Helen =]**


	16. 6 weeks later

**A/n** Okay people I've changed it around a bit. Instead of it being 2 weeks before the exhibition, it's 3 weeks before but it's still 6 weeks later.

I've also had it pointed it out to me that in the last chapter I said that Edward booked the room in the gallery. Well I've decided that he sent in a letter to book it. I know you can't really do that but **twilight -is-lovee** said that since this is fanfiction I can do whatever I want. He can give them Bella's details to confirm it or whatever. Anyway back to the story. It's really only more fluff. I've explained why in my a/n at the bottom.

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**If You Could See Me Now**

_Disclaimer: I do not own Twilight or Cecelia Ahern's If You Could See Me Now. This is just my version using Twilight characters. I have changed the storyline but some incidents that occur may seem similar to those that happen in the book._

**_Chapter 16: 6 weeks later._**

**Bpov**

These past six weeks have been pretty great. Alice and Jasper have been inseperable ever since that first coffee together. They practically live together because he's there all the time.

Rosalie doesn't mind one bit. She and Jasper have become quite close too. He treats her like a little sister even though she's older than him. She and Alice are best friends and drag me to the mall on extreme shopping trips. I hate the shopping part but love spending time with the girls. Rosalie and I are slowly but surely becoming good sisters and friends again.

Cormac has really come out of his shell. He's spending more and more time over with the Newtons. He's joined a soccer team and has made loads of new friends. He still loves hanging around with Edward, though. Charlie and I, well the less said, the better. Our relationship is still strained, but Cormac still visits him every now and again.

Edward and I... Well, if only there was an "Edward and I". He's my best friend. We're really close. If people saw us, they would probably think we were a couple, but I know better. I can tell him anything, except how I feel about him. He's helped me a lot these past few weeks, especially with my exhibition coming up in 3 weeks. He's taken me loads of places to help inspire me. We've gone to museums, the carnival, and the meadow again. We've even taken hikes along the trails outside Forks but none of them have been actual dates.

Does he even want to date me? I don't know, but sometimes I catch the way he looks at me, and I don't think he would mind at all.

"Mom?" Cormac came into the conservatory where I was sitting with a cup of coffee.

"Yes darling?" I moved my feet so he could sit down beside me.

"Is Edward staying for dinner tonight?"

"Yes, I think he is," I replied, and smiled at him. "Why don't you ask him? Then, you can both come out here and help me get it ready...?"

His face lit up. I gave him a hug and kiss on his forehead. "Okay," he replied, running off to get Edward.

A few minutes later, they both enter the kitchen. Edward smiles brightly at me and puts his arm around my shoulder.

"Hello, Bella? How are you today?"

"I'm very good. Now help me make the dinner, slave?" I give him a peck on the cheek before walking over to the sink. I can't believe I just did that. I can feel my face burning so I keep my back to him.

"Mom, why are you all red?" Cormac asks.

Damn! My son is a traitor. Edward just laughs and walks over to me again. He leans his chin on my shoulder.

"I think she's embarrassed, buddy. I don't know why, though," he says before giving me a kiss on the cheek. This is only made me blush deeper, and Edward just grinned crookedly at me.

"Right, you two, get to work," I ordered them. They both snapped their feet together and mock saluted me.

"Yes ma'am." I glared at Edward, which sent Cormac into a fit of giggles. Edward made it worse by tickling him. I just stood there and sighed. Eventually, I got him to calm down, and pointed to the vegetables.

"You wash," I said, pointing to Cormac. "You peel," I said, pointing to Edward.

I turned and started cooking the meat. All I could hear from behind me was them two whispering and snickering quietly. After twenty minutes, I looked to see the progress made on the vegetable and I stood shocked. They had two potatoes washed, and Edward had managed to peel one carrot, but both of them were soaked with water.

"Get out." I pointed to the door.

"Excuse me?" Edward replied, eyes wide.

"Get out of my kitchen. Both of you." I shoo-ed them out, and both of them still looked stunned. I shut the door and then all I heard was an erruption of laughter coming from the door.

Once dinner was prepared, I let them back into the kitchen. I laughed when I saw their faces. They were both pouting, flashing their puppy dog eyes at me.

"We're sorry," they said in unison.

I laughed and just wave them to the table. "Just eat your dinner."

Edward and Cormac had me in stitches over dinner. Cormac started to laugh so much that his milk sprayed out his nose, which only made him laugh even harder.

Afterwards, we sent Cormac off to play with his toys while Edward and I washed up.

"I wash. You dry," Edward said to me, handing me the towel.

"Edward?" He turned to me. "Would you like to go out tomorrow? Without Cormac?" I lowered my head, not wanting to see his reaction.

I chance a glance up at him. He looks surprised.

"Like a date?" he finally answered.

"Well it doesn't have to be. I mean it's really only dinner here but ... yeah, I guess it could be," I answered shyly.

"I'd like that. Very much." He grinned that breathtaking crooked smile at me, and leaned down to kiss my cheek again.

I blush a deep crimson and smile goofily up at him. "Okay then. It's a date."

"I can't wait." He smirked at me, and that's when I saw a handful of suds come towards me face.

"Pleugh," I spluttered out. "Edward! What the hell?" He was bent over, laughing at me. I glared at him before plopping more suds on his head.

"Hey!" he protested. That's when our sud fight began. I squealed as he chased me around the kitchen with handfuls of suds. He grabbed me and put me over his shoulder. He moved towards the sink.

"You wouldn't dare?"

"Oh wouldn't I?" He chuckled, before plopping me in the kitchen sink.

"Edward!" I stared at him, eyes wide. "I'm soaked."

"Yeah, I know." He came over and wrapped his arms around me. "Now I'm soaked too."

"Mom? Edward?" Cormac was standing at the door, staring at us.

"Hey, sweetie?" I smiled at him. "Will you smack Edward for me? He's being very naughty and got your mom all soaked."

"Tut, tut, tut Edward," Cormac scolded him. "Mom could get a cold now. Say you're sorry."

"Yes sir!" He saluted him before turning to me again. "I'm sorry Bella for getting you all wet." He helped me out of the sink. As my feet hit the floor, I slipped. I grabbed onto Edward, and he came falling down too. We both ended up a heap on the floor.

I couldn't help but laugh. Edward and Cormac joined in. It felt so good laughing freely like this. I can't remember the last time I laughed as much as tonight.

I know it was because of Edward. He's really improved my life in so many ways.

**A/n I really didn't know how to end this chapter so that's what I've come up with. Anyway it's more fluff because I want to focus the entire next chapter to what I've got planned. I've decided to be nice and tell you that the next chapter involves more drama, after that it's sad (I'm sure you guys are sick of that ), then it's drama and fluff. =]**

**I've been getting a lot of strange looks these past few days. I have no idea why though. I mean all Dawn (who I haven't seen since before Christmas even though we only live a mile away from each other) and I were doing was having a very public parrot puppet fight (try saying that 5 times, really fast.), walking around with a Mini Mouse and Scooby Doo balloons clipped to our jeans and singing Disney songs at the top off our lungs. The poor Toilet Duck felt left out. You all are probably like "yeah this girl is beyond weird. I mean what the hell is she on about Toilet Duck for?" Well I will have you know that Toilet Duck is a person that smells like said product and that is how the name came about. **

**Btw I'm sad to say that I'm still stuck with my brother but I guess I'll survive. **

**Anywho review please!!! I want to get over 400 reviews before this story ends. With the way things are going I think it will be between 20 and 25 chapters long.**

**Helen =]**


	17. An Almost Date

**A/n **YAY!! I've had this ready since Sunday or Monday but as you know FF was been acting up and I wasn't able to. Thankfully all is ceart go leor anois.**

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**

**If You Could See Me Now**

_Disclaimer: I do not own Twilight or Cecelia Ahern's If You Could See Me Now. This is just my version using Twilight characters. I have changed the storyline but some incidents that occur may seem similar to those that happen in the book._

**_Chapter 17: An Almost Date.._**

**Bpov**

The butterflies in my stomach were going crazy with excitement and anxiety for tonight's dinner with Edward. I've been running around this house like a headless chicken all day. Alice came around to collect Cormac but decided to stay and help for a little while after seeing the state I was in.. Thanks to her, I was able to get the food prepared, and while it was cooking, she helped me with my outfit.

"Alice I have no idea what to wear!" I cried, and flung myself onto my bed.

"You must have it bad Bella. I've never seen you so hung up about what to wear before. How come I haven't met this Edward guy yet, anyway?" she asked. She was well due for a boy talk with me since my love life has been pretty non-existent since Sam.

"Well, it's big deal Alice. This is our first date, and you haven't met him because you have been busy these past few weeks. He's a classroom aide at Cormac's school. Cormac adores him."

As I was saying this, Alice was rummaging through my closet for an outfit for tonight. She was flinging random items of clothing over her shoulder and scattering them on the floor.. I winced at the mess. A lot of things may have changed over these past few weeks but I still hate being in an untidy room.

"By the sounds of it Cormac's not the only one." Alice smirked at me. "You're head over heels, that much is obvious."

"I am not!" I protested. "I've known him just about 2 months. I mean ... I can't be? Can I?" I looked into her topaz eyes, hoping they held the answer to my question..

"Bella, In all the time I've known you, I've never seen you like this. You were never even like this with Sam. Even though I've never met Edward, he's gets my approval because I've seen how happy you have become over these past few weeks. I hope I'll get to meet him soon."

"I hope you will too. Just not tonight," I told her. With that, our conversation on Edward ended and she started doing my hair and make up.

Alice, the expert that she was, finished my hair and make up after a few minutes. She just slicked on a bit of mascara, eyeliner, and some lip balm. She would not allow me to wear lip gloss because she said it wouldn't go with the natural look that she's aiming for.

My outfit was laid out on my bed; a pair of dark blue skinny jeans, a purple shirt, a camel colored wide belt, and a pair of camel colored boots to match. Alice also made me wear matching accessories; stud earrings, a long beaded necklace and a few bracelets.

"Bella, you look beautiful!" Alice sighed, clasping her hands together. "Just look at yourself." She turned the mirror towards me.

She was right. I did look pretty amazing. The shirt felt cool and crisp against my skin, and along with the belt, it gave me curves that I never knew I had. My skin looked pale, not sickly, but nice. It was almost as if there was a slight glow to it. Alice had left my hair down, and it fell just below my shoulders. The eyeliner framed my eyes, making them stand out. I turned to her and hugged her.

"Thanks so much, Alice," I whispered in her ear.

"Anytime, Bella. I suppose I'll leave you to it now." We went downstairs where Cormac was watching TV.. He looked up as we entered.

"Wow, Mom! You look really pretty." He smiled up at me as he hugged me. I patted his head and brushed his curls out of his face..

"Thank you, sweetie." I gave him a kiss on the cheek. "You be good now for Aunt Alice and Aunt Rose. I'll see you tomorrow."

"I will," he said before grabbing his bag. Alice hugged me goodbye and walked into the hall.

"Good luck and be good." She winked at me before walking out the door. I closed the door and walked back into the kitchen. Everything was almost ready. I looked at the clock.

_6:30_

Edward should be here in a half hour. I checked on everything again before leaning against the kitchen counter. I had the plates out, so I would be ready to serve once dinner was cooked. A bottle of wine was sitting in the rack, waiting to be opened. All I could do now was wait for him. I started to fidget with my shirt and nails. Time seemed to be moving so slow. I checked the clock again..

_6:35_

I sighed and looked around the kitchen. There had to be something to make the time move faster.. I picked at my nails again and picked bits of fluff of my shirt. Then I did a quick tidy up. It really was quick because I had already cleaned this kitchen until it was spotless earlier.

_6:45_

Only a few more minutes. I paced the kitchen, sat down, stood up again, and walked around some more. I couldn't sit still.

_6:55_

Would he come early or arrive at 7 on the dot? Would he bring wine himself? Should I put my bottle away? Is my outfit okay? Is it too casual? Should I have made Alice chose something more formal?

I made Chicken Enchiladas because I know he loves chicken. But what if he doesn't like Mexican food? What if he's allergic to something? I should have asked him beforehand. I looked at the clock again.

_7:10_

He's late. I know it's only 10 minutes, but he's never ever been late before. I wonder if he's okay? He never said anything yesterday. I can't call him to find out since I don't have a number for him. What if something happened to him on his way here? Would he be okay? I started pacing again before throwing the towel on the ground to see how long I could resist before picking it up. So far I've managed to resist for 5 minutes.

_7:30_

He's half an hour late. That's when the anger bubbled up inside me. He could have at least had the decency to phone me to say he wouldn't be able to make it. I paced the kitchen, or rather I stormed around the kitchen, and dumped the now ruined meal. I tidied up quickly and picked up the plates before smashing them down on the counter. I picked up my left hand and stared at the blood slowly oozing out from the cut on my hand. I stared at it for another few minutes before my common sense kicked in.

I ran over to the sink and cleaned my cut. I held my breath, trying to ignore the rusty smell that always made me feel woozy.

Edward isn't coming. He's not going to call. That's when the harsh truth hit me.

_I've been stood up!_

I thought he wanted to go out with me. He seemed pleased yesterday when I asked him. He had smiled the crooked grin, and no matter how much I wanted to hate it right now, I couldn't. Why would agree to a date if he wasn't going to show? Maybe he thought it would be a great joke. Oh yes, seeing Bella make a fool of herself would be great entertainment.

It hurt, deep down in my chest. I felt this hole tear open. Part of it was for Cormac. How could Edward do this to him? I thought that maybe he meant something to him but I guess I was wrong. Thinking about Edward hurting Cormac made me angry, and the pain in my chest increased.

What hurt the most was that I think I might love him. I actually saw myself spending the rest of my life with him, but he didn't want me.. I kidded myself into believing that he might actually care for me. Why would he want me anyway? He is a single, gorgeous, smart, young man with no responsibilities. He is free to roam from town to town, doing what he pleases. Why would he be interested in a plain, boring single mother with a slight case of OCD?

The pain of rejection washed over me. I slid onto the ground where I curled myself into a ball.. My sobs echoed around the cold, lifeless kitchen.

When I glanced at the clock again, it was after 8. I did the first thing that popped into my head. I grabbed the car keys and walked out the door. As I reached the car, it started to rain lightly. I got into the car and started the engine. I drove around and around, not caring where I was going.

I found myself driving down a very familiar narrow lane. I couldn't turn back because there wasn't any room. I was heading towards the one place I'd rather not go, yet longed to be, at the same time. I needed him to be there for me now like I was always there for him.

I pulled up outside his house. The cruiser was still parked in the drive, and there was a glow from the television creeping out between the curtains of the front room.

I sat in the car, hands still clutching the wheel, listening to the steady rhythm of the rain against the car roof. I got out, and by the time I reached the porch, I was soaked. I stood nervously at the door, my hand hovering, still unsure whether I should knock or not. Finally I rapped my knuckles hard against the door, and I heard something shuffle inside.

He answered the door and stood at me shocked.

"B-Bella? What are you doing here?" Charlie asked. He didn't look as bad as he had the last time I saw him. His clothes were cleaner, but his eyes were still a bit glazed over, yet seeing me there seemed to sober him up instantly.

"Daddy!" I cried and ran into his arms. I sobbed quietly into his shoulder, and he slowly wrapped his arms around me.. "Daddy, I need you."

He patted my back, and helped me inside while I still clung to his shirt. "Shhhhhh, Bella. It'll be okay, whatever it is. It'll work out."

"I love you, Daddy," I said to him, looking him in the eye. I thought I saw his eyes well up a bit.

"Shhhhhhh! I love you, too, my little Bells," he told me, and wrapped his arms around me tighter. "I missed you." I felt something wet on my cheek, and I looked up to see Charlie crying too.

We stood there for a long time, both of us trying to comfort each other. I know we should talk about things first, but I didn't want to. Not yet. There would be plenty of time for that later. Right now, all I needed was my father..

I felt myself falling asleep, so Charlie must have moved me to the sofa. As I drifted off to sleep, the last thing I heard was Charlie whisper in the silence.

"Thank you, God."

**A/n So what do you guys think? What do you think of my father/daughter moment? It's my first time writing something like that and I know Bella and Charlie don't really express their feeling to each other in the book but I think it's called for in this chapter. I mean, come on, they haven't really been chatting in six years people!! Oh yeah, do you think I should include a chapter where they sort things out? That would also include Edward explaining to Bella why he "stood her up."**

**Next chapter you will find out what happened to Edward. Please don't be angry at him because it wasn't his fault at all. He just got .... delayed by certain matters.**

**I've decided that I can most definitely get 400 reviews for this story so I'm going to see if I can get 500 reviews by the end of this. Don't forget it's going to be between 20-25 chapters long.**

**I'll try have the next chapter for you soon. I'm just having a bit of bother trying to get it to right.**

**Anywho please review.**

**Helen**


	18. All Of My Heart Forever

**If You Could See Me Now.**

_Disclaimer: I do not own Twilight or Cecelia Ahern's If You Could See Me Now. This is just my version using Twilight characters. I have changed the storyline but some incidents that occur may seem similar to those that happen in the book._

**_Chapter 18: All of my heart. Forever._**

**Epov**

I was so excited about Bella and I having date tonight. I couldn't sit still at all. Of course, I didn't tell the others why I was so excited. I knew most of them would be supportive, especially Esme, but I didn't know how Carlisle would react. Would he be disappointed in me that I hadn't left her yet? Would he be angry with me when I told him that I didn't want to leave her?

I went downstairs to talk to Esme. She's been helping me these past few weeks because what Bella had said earlier shocked me.

"_Don't you ever change?"_

It hadn't ever occurred to me that I would need to change my clothes, because technically we didn't need to. I knew our clothes get dirty but they just be clean again in the morning. Esme showed me to the clothing area at HQ. I didn't even know this place existed, to be honest. It had never occurred to me how Kim always had a new dress for her tea parties. I never actually thought about it. So since Bella suggested it, I've been changing a part of my outfit just to suggest that I'm very hygienic, which, of course, I am. I would change my shirt every day, but it would always be a different shade of blue. I would change my jeans, too - maybe a pair of gray ones or black again. Some days, I even added a jacket. The one thing that remained constant was my blue converse. I absolutely adored those shoes.

When I went downstairs, Esme wasn't there, but Matt, the guy in charge of the clothing area, was sorting through various railings. He greeted me as I went in the door.

"Hey Edward. How can I help?"

"Hello Matt. I'm good but I was wondering if you've seen Esme about?"

"I have actually. A friend of hers is about to ... you know ... today. So she's gone to support her and help her through it."

"Oh, right. Okay. Well I was wondering if you could help me choose an outfit for tonight? I'm having a special dinner with my Best Friend."

I wasn't lying. I am having a very special dinner with Bella who is my Best Friend. It's not my fault it people misunderstand what I mean.

"Well how special is it? Is it like a birthday party? Or just a tea party?"

"Um ... well it's neither. It's more formal than a birthday party but more casual than a tea party. Is that helpful?"

Matt sighed. "I'll see what I can do."

He spent a long time searching through various rails. He would hold a certain shirt up against me, look in the mirror, shake his head, and hang it on one of two rails in front of me. One rail was for the rejects, the other for maybes. I looked at the time, it was just after 4 o' clock. I had plenty of time left.

Finally Matt chose and outfit and he threw a hissy fit when I refused to change my converse. I told him that I was going to talk to Carlisle but I'd return at 6:30 to change into my outfit.

I searched the entire building for Carlisle, but I couldn't find him anywhere. Usually I would find him in the library or refereeing the games between Jacob, Leah, and Emmett, but not today. I walked upstairs to our meeting room and knocked on the door to his office. I was surprised when I heard a muffled sound come from within.

"Come in."

I entered and found Carlisle lying back in his chair. In his hands was the picture of Sarah. He was stroking it gently, and he looked exhausted. I knew it was impossible, but he seemed to age about ten years since the last time I saw him, which was yesterday. His hair was messy, his eyes tired and bloodshot. His normally neat clothes were slightly crumpled. In all honesty, the poor man looked lost.

"Carlisle? Are you alright? What's wrong?" I asked, full of concern for the father-figure in my life.

"I'm going to need your help today, Edward. I don't think I'll be able to get through this without you. I mean, after all, you're the only I know who would even have an idea of how I'm feeling right now."

"Carlisle please! What's wrong? You're really scaring me," I pleaded with him.

"Esme is helping ... s-she's helping." His voice was cracking. He took a deep breath before continuing. "Esme is helping Sarah to ... to pass on today. My Sarah." His voice broke completely at the last part, and violent sobs wracked his body. I didn't know what to do, so I went over to him, and tried my best to comfort him.

"I don't what I'm going to do Edward. I love her so much and I knew this day was coming. I ... I just didn't expect it so soon."

Poor Carlisle doesn't even cover it. I don't know what I'd ever do without Bella. Thinking that I'd never ever see her beautiful face again tears me up inside.

"Carlisle. Normally, I would comfort someone, and tell them that it will be okay, but I can't in this situation. Yes, it will be difficult for a long time, but you have still have so much to live for. Think of all the happy smiles you bring to so many children's faces. Think of the love you give them, and how much you help them to become the person they want to be. I'm not saying you should forget Sarah, because that would be impossible, but just remember that there are people out there who love you and need you, too." I placed a hand on his shoulder, and gave it a gentle squeeze.

"I know, Edward. I know. It's just, it's going to be so hard. I really am going to need you today. Esme wants us there as soon as possible."

I nodded. "Are you ready?"

Carlisle got up from his chair, fixed himself up, and wiped his face. "As ready as I'll ever be."

We walked out the door and to the hospital where Sarah was staying. I looked at my watch. It was already 5:15. I guess I'm going to be late for Bella's dinner. I scolded myself then. How could I be so insensitive towards Carlisle? Even when he needed me, all I could think about was Bella and I.

I didn't mention anything to Carlisle. I knew I was going to be late, but I didn't have any way to call her. I just prayed that she'd understand once I explain everything to her.

We walked along the white corridors of the hospital, waiting so often for people to open doors so we could go through them. Finally, we arrived at the ward where Sarah was staying. She was in room C301. She was lucky enough to have her own private room.

The room was slightly dark because the blinds were closed. There were four people in the room, including Esme and Sarah. There was a man and woman standing at the foot of her bed. The man had his arms wrapped around the woman. She looked a lot like Sarah: the same dark hair, facial features. She didn't have Sarah's brilliant blue eyes though. Hers were a cool gray.

"That's Sarah's granddaughter and grandson-in-law. They came over from New York to see her."

I nodded. Esme's head flew up when she heard Carlisle. She was sitting by Sarah's bed, holding her hand.

"I'm so glad you came. She's been waiting for you, you know that?" Esme smiled gently at him.

The composure Carlisle had built up since we left his office seemed to crack at the edges, just a little bit. He took a deep breath, and walked over to the bed. The old woman lying weak and frail in the bed was so different to the bright and vibrant lady of her youth. Her long dark locks were now snow white and thinning. Her pellucid skin seemed to just about stretch over her bones. The saddest transformation of all was her eyes. Her beautiful blue eyes, so full of life and ever-changing shade like water, were now dull. They had lost their zest, no longer bright and shiny with the wonders of youth and love.

Still, Carlisle stared at her as if she was the most precious and beautiful thing he'd ever set eyes on. It's amazing, isn't it? How true love can withstand anything; years of separation, ageing, even death.

"Sarah?" Esme called softly to her. "You have a visitor. It's Carlisle."

At once, her eyes turned wild and searching, she tried to crane her neck to search for him but didn't have the strength. She grunted and groaned, trying to speak. Nobody would understand her except for Esme, because most people only speak this language once in their life. It's the language of a dying person.

"Shh. Here's here. Right beside you," Esme said, and Carlisle took her hand in his. He started to stroke it gently. "He's holding your hand right now."

Sarah stared at her hand and soon the tears started to well up. This caught the attention of her granddaughter.

"Gran. Are you okay? What's wrong? Here let me get you a tissue." She reached to a box on the table and went to the other side of Sarah to dab at her tears.

Sarah grunted and Esme laughed. "Sarah says she's wish her granddaughter would stop pestering her. If she really wanted a tissue than she'd make it known to them somehow."

Carlisle smiled. "That's my girl. Always were the feisty one weren't you?"

Esme told her what he said, and the muscles of her mouth turned upwards in a slight smile. They spent the rest of the evening talking back and forth using Esme as a translator. They talked about all the things they did together, and with every memory, I swear you could see Sarah becoming more like the young woman in the picture. I mean, you could now tell that they were the same person. Her eyes were alive again, and as blue as a summer sky.

It was around 8 o clock when Sarah started a huge coughing fit. They came from deep within her body and shook her frail body. I was afraid she was going to snap with the force. Her granddaughter cane running over to her and stood still, not knowing what to do.

"I'll get the doctor," her husband said to her, and walked out the door. She nodded and grabbed Sarah's free hand.

"You are the best Gran in the world, and you make the best cookies ever." She smiled at her. "I love you," she said before laying her head on the side of the bed.

"Carlisle, it's time. If you have anything to say, say it now." Esme said to him. He looked scared for a moment. Sarah started to cough again, and her breathing became slow and ragged.

"Sarah?" he called, and gasped, because she turned her head and looked him in the eye. She could actually see him. The tears he had building up started to creep slowly down his face. He squeezed her hand gently, and she smiled up at him weakly.

"Hey there, Beautiful." He brushed a piece of thin white hair from her face. "Long time no see, huh?" he said, his voice thick with emotion.

"I love you," he whispered, and kissed her on the forehead. "Always have, always will."

Sarah started to cry, and then she groaned something. Without taking his eyes from hers, he asked Esme, "What did she say?"

Esme was crying freely now, and choked out, "All my heart. Forever."

Carlisle watched as Sarah's breathing became slower yet again. He stared lovingly into her eyes until with her final breath, they slowly drifted closed for the last time. He sat there nursing her hand for a long time. He sat there while the doctors stated the time of death. Even when her granddaughter burst into tears, he sat there cradling that tiny hand – like a doll's hand – in his.

Eventually Esme came over to me and said, "You should go home Edward. I know after seeing this, you will want to be with Bella."

"I know, but I didn't want to leave Carlisle alone today. He said he needed me to help him through this but I don't really see how helpful I've been. I haven't done anything."

"Just being here was enough. You don't have to say anything or even do anything. Just knowing that you are there if he needs you is enough. Now go! Besides I thought you had a date with Bella tonight?"

"How did you...?" I asked her confused.

"Edward. It's me. There's very little at HQ that I don't know. Now go before I have to tell you again." She tried to wave me out the door but I walked over to Carlisle. I placed my hand on his shoulder and gave it a gentle squeeze.

"Thank you, Edward, Esme, for being here today," he said, placing one hand briefly on mine before letting it drop.

"Anytime, Carlisle," I said to him. I bid goodbye to Esme and walked out the door. When I left the hospital, it was pouring the rain. I walked as fast as I could to Bella's house. It was 9:30; Bella should still be awake.

As I was walking, I thought about what Esme said. About how after witnessing what happened between Sarah and Carlisle, I would want to be with Bella. She was right. I wanted to rush home and take her into my arms and never let her go.

When I arrived at her house, the car was gone and the house was in darkness. Did she go out? Why is she go out? Is she okay? Was there another emergency?

Breathe in. And out. Breathe in. And out. Calm down Edward. You are jumping to conclusions like always. Just wait for her. I'm sure she'll be home soon.

So I stood. Outside. In the pouring rain. Praying that Bella would come home soon so I could explain. Praying that she would forgive me.

**A/n Hey Guys! So I got the chapter name from an Ally McBeal re-run. Does anyone else watch that?lol Anyway it's the weekend so I'm pretty happy. Ta me ar droim na muc meaning I'm on the pig's back which is some weird Irish expression that my teacher uses all the time. lol**

**I'm so tired because I've been putting music on my laptop since I came in from school 4:30 till now 8:45. **

**Oh yeah guys I can't remember if I said in an earlier chapter that Edward leaves because you are all telling me how you are going to be so sad when he does leave BUT he doesn't. Well, he doesn't leave, she just stops seeing him and this story will probably will be more than 25 chapters, 27 max.**

**It has started people. Yes you know what I mean (well those of you who do it anyway.) Yes, I mean Lent. So those of you do Lent tell me what you're depriving yourself for the next 40 days or so.**

**Come one guys you nearly have me at 400 reviews. We have a deadline to get me to 500 reviews before the end of this so come on people review your little hearts out. PLEASE!!**

**Riteo so. Review!!**

**Helen =]**


	19. A Piece Of My Mind

**If You Could See Me Now.  
**

_Disclaimer: I do not own Twilight or Cecelia Ahern's If You Could See Me Now. This is just my version using Twilight characters. I have changed the storyline but some incidents that occur may seem similar to those that happen in the book._

**_Chapter 19: A Piece Of My Mind._**

**Bpov**

I awoke and looked around a strangely familar room. I tried to stretch, but I soon realised that something was blocking my feet, and when I lowered my hands, they hit the floor. Where was I? Why was I so close to the floor?

"Hey, Bells. You're awake," Charlie said.

_Wait! Charlie?_

Last nights events came flooding back to me. Edward not showing up for dinner, me going for a drive, ending up at Charlie's house, and us sort of reconciling.

"How long have I been asleep?" I asked, my voice thick with sleep.

"Not that long, really. About 3 hours. It's just after midnight."

"Really? Oh!"

I looked out the window. It was dark out. So it wasn't really last night, it was only a few hours ago. It seemed so much longer.

"I think I should go, Ch - Dad," I corrected myself. "I have to get Cormac in a few hours."

"Oh." His face looked sad for a moment. We stood in an awkward silence for a few moments. There was so much that needed to be said, yet neither of us were any good at expressing our emotions to each other.

"Right, well, I'll see you later." I went over to him and gave him a brief hug before walking to the door. I opened it and stepped outside. The cold air hit me and woke me up completely.

"Bella?" I turned to Charlie again. "I'm sorry. For everything."

I smiled at him. That was all I needed to hear from him. What was the point in talking about everything? All it would do would bring up painful memories and make both of us hurt even more. He was sorry, and I could tell that he meant it. I wonder if I would be as forgiving to certain other people, but Charlie is, after all, my father.

"Me, too." Neither of us knew what to say next. So, hoping to ease the tension I changed the subject. "How about I bring Cormac around on Saturday. I might even get Rose to come along to."

His face broke out into a huge smile that made my heart fill with joy. I hadn't seen that smile in years. It was good to see it again.

"I'd love that. It'll give me time to get this place cleaned up." We hugged again. This time it was longer and less awkward. I got into my car, and waved goodbye.

My good mood seemed to fade the closer I got to home. I was still angry at Edward for doing that to me. The next time I saw him, I would definitely give him a piece of my mind.

It was still raining as I pulled into my drive. Standing on my porch was Edward, his shoulders slumped and shirt collar popped to try and heat himself. He was soaked. Even though I was mad at him, my heart still flipped when I realised he had been waiting for me in the rain.

I got out of my car and rushed onto the porch. I ignored him as I opened the door and as I was about to step inside he called me.

"Bella?" he said softly. My heart nearly broke then and there because his voice was full of so much pain. "Bella, can I talk to you?"

I stared into pleading emerald eyes. "You're soaked," I said. My brain couldn't function properly because of his eyes so I said the first thing that came into my head. "Get inside. I'll try and get you some clothes, but I don't think I'll have any. Once you're dried up, we can talk then." I didn't listen for his answer. I just walked inside, leaving the door open behind me.

I heard him sigh, and then I heard the sound of the door closing behind me. I walked up the stairs to my room and rummaged in my closet. There was nothing there for him to wear apart from the old flannel shirt of Charlie's I wore the day we went to the meadow. In the very, very back of my closet I finally found some bottoms for him. They were an old pair of Sam's pajama bottoms. I didn't know I still had them. Well at least it was better than nothing.

I walked downstairs and left the things in the bathroom along with a few towels. Edward was standing in the kitchen staring out the window above the sink.

"I left some things in the bathroom for you. You can dry off in there." My voice cold and hard. I was still angry at him after all.

As Edward dried off, I figured he must be freezing standing outside in the rain, so I made him a cup of coffee. I know I don't seem too angry with him, but I am. It's just my common sense kicking in.

He was just finishing buttoning-up his shirt, but not before I got a glimpse of his perfectly chiseled chest. I wouldn't be surprised if he could hear my heart pounding in my chest. I shook of the thoughts involving Edward and I in a very compromising situation and handed him his coffee.

"Here. I thought you'd be cold after standing in the rain. How long were you out there for anyway?"

"Um ... just over two hours."

"Well, how much longer were you planning to wait there for?"

"Until you came back," he answered, as if it was the most obvious thing in the world.

My eyes widened, and I looked down. I could feel Edward's intense stare on me so I took a sip of my coffee to stop myself from staring back.

"I'm still mad at you," I said, trying to convince myself that I was. "I'm going to give you a piece of my mind."

"A piece of your mind," he mused. "The mind is one of the most beautiful things in the world. It's so complex and whatever the mind believes the body can achieve. So to give me a piece of your mind ... well, thank you, Bella. That is a wonderful gift." He turned back to the kitchen window. "Isn't it funny, how we usually give people we don't like a piece of our mind when really they should be saved...?" He turned around to look at me. "...for loved ones."

I felt my face get hot from the way he looked at me. I couldn't stay mad at him while he looked at me in that way.

"Is anyone ever mad at you for more than 5 minutes?"

"Yes." He laughed. "You, since about 7 o' clock until now."

I had momentarily forgotten why I was angry at him until he mentioned the time. My face fell, and I sat down at the table.

"Where were you last night?" I said so softly I don't know if he even heard me. He walked over and sat down beside me. He took my hand in his, but I gently pulled away from him before looking him squarely in the eyes.

"Well?" I said, my voice cold and hard once again.

He ran his hand through his hair before sighing heavily. "Bella. I'm sorry I wasn't there last night. Believe me I wanted to be there ... more than anything but .... You remember me telling you about Carlisle? If there was any man I would call my father in my life, then it would be him. You see, a very dear friend of his died yesterday, and I didn't want to leave him on his own. He needed me there to support him through this difficult time. I know I should have called, but I had no way. Can you believe it? Someone as old as me not having a phone? And I didn't have your number either. Can you believe that? We've known each other for 2 months, and we see each other almost every day, and I have no idea what your phone number is." He chuckled dryly.

"Bella." He took my hand again and this time I let him. "I am so, so sorry. I could spend years telling you how sorry I am, and I still wouldn't expect you to forgive me."

I was feeling slightly guilty. How could I have ever doubted him? Of course he would have had a good reason for not being there. He is the most kind, caring, considerate, and unbelievably attractive man I've ever met.

"It's okay, Edward." I gave his hand a squeeze. "I'm sorry about Carlisle's friend. I know it will be hard for him. You can go to him, if you want. We can talk later."

"No. I want to stay here, if that's okay. Esme is with him now, so she'll watch over him."

I couldn't help but smile at the fact that he wanted to stay here with me. "Okay. That's fine." He grinned crookedly at me, and heart stopped beating. Immediately his face fell and looked worried.

"Bella, are you okay?" He shook me gently. I was too busy being mesmerized by his eyes to really listen to what he was saying. I knew that he had spoken, but I wasn't listening to the words, just the melody of his voice.

He shook me again, a little harder than last time, and I was broken from my reverie. I was finally able to breath again, and I blushed deeply.

"I'm sorry. I got ... um ... distracted."

"Really?" He raised an eyebrow. "Pray tell, by what?"

"Nothing in particular," I mumbled and looked down.

"Am I _dazzling _you again?"

I sighed. "Yes, yes you are."

He put his arm around my shoulder, and I leaned in closer to him. "I'm sorry. I didn't realize I had such a dangerous effect on you. So from now on no more dazzling."

"Mmmm, I don't really mind the dazzling." He laughed and kissed me on the cheek. I shivered, partly from the cold, and partly because of the way his lips felt on my skin.

"You're cold? Come on." He stood up and held out his hands. I took them and he pulled me up.

"What are you doing?"

"I'm lighting you a fire." He led me into the living room and gathered the necessities for the fire. Pretty soon, one was blazing in the fireplace. He put the guard in front of it while I stood close to it, heating my hands before going to sit on the sofa beside him. Edward grabbed the blanket of the back of the sofa and wrapped it around both of us.

It was wonderful being this close to him. It almost made us seem like a couple. This is the kind of thing couples do right? Not best friends who are the opposite sex. But, Edward and I have always been more than _just friends _and not quite a couple.

We sat on the sofa, him with his arm around me, me with my head on his shoulder. Sometimes we would speak but most of the time it was silent. My mother used to say that if you are with a man, and it is silent, but comfortable, then you are in love. She said she used to sit with Charlie by the fire after Rose and I went to bed. She would read a book and Charlie would read the paper. Sometimes he would even watch her read. They would sit together until all that was left of the fire was a few embers, just enjoying each other's company.

Does that mean I'm in love with Edward?

"Bella?"

I yawned and turned to him. "Yes?" I muttered sleepily.

"Would you go out with on Friday night? On a proper date?"

"I'd love that." I smiled at him. "You will be there this time?"

He winced at my dig at him. "Yes. Nothing on this world will stop me."

"Good," I whispered and snuggled into his chest.

"Go to sleep now, Bella," he said softly, stroking my hair.

"'Night, Edward."

"'Night, Bella. Sweet dreams." He kissed my hair. The last thing I remember was Edward humming that sweet tune to me. The one that sounded like a lullaby.

**A/n Hello my pretties!! I hope you enjoyed this chapter. I know I didn't spend a lot of time with Bella and Charlie sorting things out. I thought I would stick with the way they are portrayed in Twilight, you know, not liking to show their emotions. I know the night before they didn't mind showing their emotions but it's almost like an awkward morning after. lol**

**Next chapter: The date. **

**It's weird isn't it? I'm on the 19th chapter and they haven't actually properly kissed yet. It's a disgrace, me keeping them apart for so long. lol I've also realised that this FF must be very depressing to read so the next few chapters will be all La La La and sunshine dust. =]**

**I've finally finished this mind map I have to do for maths. It's taken me forever. **

**I'm so happy I've got nearly 430 reviews. YAY!!! I'm on my way to gtting 500. Come on my pretties, we can do it. Like I said before review your little hearts out.**

**Um ... I think I'll go to bed now. It's almost midnight so I'm kind of tired.**

**Review!! =]**

**Helen **


	20. Dancing In The Moonlight

**A/n **Here you go my pretties!! It's the chapter you've all been waiting for. THE DATE!!! *squeals.* I borrowed the idea from the actual book and some of the convo is also borrowed but I tweaked it a bit and whatnot. And by the book I mean If You Could See Me Now.**

* * *

**

**If You Could See Me Now.**

_Disclaimer: I do not own Twilight or Cecelia Ahern's If You Could See Me Now. This is just my version using Twilight characters. I have changed the storyline but some incidents that occur may seem similar to those that happen in the book._

_**Chapter 20: Dancing in the Moonlight.**_

**Epov**

I placed the finishing touches to the dinner table. I put a snippet of fuchsia, which was growing wild, in the small vase, straightened out the table cloth, lit the single candle standing in the middle of the table, and watched as the flame blew in the gentle breeze. First Beach was silent apart from the gentle lapping of the waves and the rustling of leaves from the trees. I stood still and closed my eyes, listening to the sounds of nature around me. It was some of the best music in the world.

I had a special dinner prepared for my date with Bella tonight. Our head chef at HQ spent the past few days thinking of a wonderful spread, and then spent the entire day preparing our feast. The chef is also the same chef that prepares the buns and cakes for tea parties with our Best Friends.

For starters, Chef had prepared foie gras and toast cut into neat little squares, followed by Angel-hair pasta with Thai spiced shrimp, and for dessert, a white chocolate and raspberry tart.

Once everything was ready, I fiddled with the cutlery nervously, tightened my new black tie, loosened it again, opened the top button of my new green shirt, and decided to keep it closed. I had been so busy setting everything up and making sure it was perfect that I hardly had time to think about the emotions building up inside me. I was mostly feeling nervous, anxious, scared, but most of all excited.

I stared up at the sky, and the stars stared back at me, twinkling in the darkness. They almost seemed to be winking at me, so I winked back at them; they knew what was coming tonight. Thinking about the darkening sky, I glanced at my watch. It's almost time.

I hope Bella comes.

Bpov

I drove along the familiar, narrow road to First Beach, feeling extremely nervous about my date with Edward. I hope I'm not late. I could hardly see where I was going on the dark road. Even with my headlights on, the most I could see was a few feet ahead of me. Hedges and trees leaned inwards to the road, brushing my car as I passed.

I turned the corner and suddenly the black veil was lifted, and I could see ahead of me for miles. The sea stretched in front of me like a pool of ink. The stars shone brightly in the sky. The waves broke gently on the sand, the white surf clearly visible in the limited light.

But it wasn't the sky or the sea that took my breath away; it was Edward in a brand new outfit, standing by a small table set for two. He was wearing a green shirt that was the same color as his eyes. He looked very good in his black tie and black suit. He even swapped his mangy old pair of converse for a pair of shiny, black shoes. He stood waving at me, the candlelight casting shadows on his grinning face. Edward was the picture of perfection.

I stopped the car, and he was by my door instantly. Edward took my hand and helped me out of the car.

"Bella, you look beautiful." Edward grinned and kissed my cheek. His face lingered there a bit longer than usual.

"Thank you." I blushed. "Blue is by far my favorite," I said mockingly.

Alice had taken me shopping earlier this week, and we finally settled on a simple blue dress. It was a halter neck that went to just above my knees. Alice decided to add silver accessories to "jazz it up a bit". She added a silver shawl and silver heels. Thankfully, they weren't that high; only 2 inches.

"As you can see, green is my favorite today. Although... blue is fast becoming my favorite again." He winked at me before motioning to the dinner before him. "My dear." He bowed theatrically. "Your moonlight dinner awaits you."

I took his hand, and he led me onto the beach. One thing I must remember for the future is never walk on the sand in high heels, because as soon as I placed one foot on the beach, my shoes filled with sand and I fell over. Fortunately, Edward was there to stop me from tripping. He wrapped his arms around me and settled me on my feet. I used him for support as I took off my shoes, and he took them from me.

The sand felt soft and cool beneath my feet. Once we reached the table, Edward pulled out the chair for me before sitting down opposite me. The white table cloth was flapping in the gentle breeze, and the candlelight flickered, casting shadows on our faces and the trays of food before us.

With a flourish, Edward removed the lids of the starter. "For starters we are having foie gras." He stared intently at the food. "Although it doesn't look much like grass."

I couldn't help but laugh at him. "It's goose liver."

"Oh." He blushed slightly but laughed along with me.

Conversation over dinner was easy. The food was great, the setting was great, the company was excellent. Every so often, I would look up to find Edward gazing at me over the candlelight. Even when I caught him staring, he wouldn't look away. Gazing into those pools of liquid emerald, I found myself getting lost in the many emotions hidden within them.

"Bella?" His velvety voice broke me from my trance. "Would you lie with me in the sand?"

"Yes." My voice was husky. I couldn't bring herself to raise my voice over the sound of the waves. This is what I wanted. I wanted to feel his touch, for him to hold me. It would be a perfect way for the evening to end. I walked over to the water's edge and sat down. I could hear Edward walk softly behind me.

"This will be easier if you lie on your back," he said loudly, looking down at me.

My eyes widened, and I nearly choked on my wine. "Excuse me?"

"If you don't lie down, then it won't work." He stated as if it were a matter of fact. "Here. Like this." He lay down on the sand. "You have to lie flat on your back. It's best this way."

I wrapped my shawl around me protectively. I can't believe him. He isn't seriously suggesting that we ... _do it. _Here. On the sand.

"Is it really?" I said sharply. "So was all this," I motioned towards the table and the empty dinner pates, "a way for you to get me flat on my back as you so eloquently put it?"

"Um ... well yes." He stared at me, confused about my sudden change in mood. "It's just it's better to be flat on your back for when it's peaked," he stuttered.

I stared at him, shocked, and huffed in indignation. I got up and walked towards my car. I heard Edward follow behind me.

"Bella, look!" Edward shouted excitedly. "It's peaked."

"You're disgusting," I shouted at him, and walked faster to the car.

"It's not disgusting," Edward cried, panic evident in his voice.

I fumbled in my bag for my keys, but couldn't find them in the dark. I leaned it to the moonlight and as I glanced up, I gasped.

The sky was alight with activity. The stars glowed brighter than ever before and some darted across the sky. It was like something from a dream. The sky was on fire; it was one of the most beautiful sights I'd ever witnessed.

Edward lay flat on his back staring up at the night sky.

"Oh." Was all that I could say. I'm could feel my face heat up from the embarrassment. I walked back down the beach towards Edward and stood beside him.

"It's beautiful," I sighed.

"Well, it would be a lot more beautiful if you lay flat on your back like I told you to," he huffed and crossed his arms. I laughed at him.

"It's not that funny. You weren't told you were disgusting."

"I thought you were talking about something else," I mumbled, trying unsuccessfully to stifle my giggles.

"Why else would I ask you to lie flat on your back?" He asked dully. I raised an eyebrow at him and his voice rose a few octaves. "Oh," he sang. "Isabella Marie Swan, well I never," he said mockingly.

"Shut up." I hit him playfully with my purse, and lay down beside him. I looked up at the beautiful sight before me. Edward was right; it wasn't disgusting.

"What's happening tonight anyway?"

"It's the Delta Aquarids," he told me. "They are meteors from the Aquarius constellation. I had to take you out tonight because this is the night it peaks."

"Thank you, Edward," I whispered and scooted a bit closer to him. He placed his arm around me, and I lay my head on his shoulder. "You make me so happy, you know that?"

"Just doing my job," he said softly, but I noticed a hint of sadness in his eyes.

"Are you alright?"

He gave me a small smile. "I'm fine. I'm here with you. It's all I could ever ask for." He kissed me on the cheek again, but I became more daring and moved my lips to his. They brushed lightly against his soft lips. The electricity I felt run through my body every time I touched him magnified ten fold. He pulled back to look at me.

"Are you sure?" he whispered so softly I could barely her him.

I couldn't answer because of the desire I felt for him. I nodded my head, and he smiled before moving his head closer to mine.

The kiss was gentle at first, but the tension and desire building up between us over the past two months soon took over my senses. Edward was all I wanted in this moment. He was all I needed. His hands roamed over my body, moving up and down my back, stopping in my hair and then moving down again to pull me closer to him. My hands went to his hair, and I ran my fingers through the soft waves. It was something I'd been longing to do ever since I first saw him standing in my doorway. He rolled over so I was now on top of him. One hand held me close to him while the other found my hand. They intertwined just like our feet did.

Unfortunately, Edward pulled back after a while. "I don't know about you, Bella, but most of my oxygen has been used up. I need a breather." He chuckled lightly at me. I grinned sheepishly at him, and lay my head on his chest. He wrapped his arms around me, and held me tightly to him. "I'm enjoying myself far too much, Bella. I don't think I will ever let you go again." I could tell from his voice that he was smiling at me.

We lay on the sand for a long time. Well, it seemed like a long time. It could have been hours or minutes for all I know. Sometimes, we kissed somemore, but most of the time we lay in the same position, with Edward stroking my hair.

"Bella, there's one more thing I have planned for tonight. Do you mind opening the car for me while I get something from the table?"

He pulled me up and held me close to him, kissed the tip of my nose before letting me go.

"Of course no problem." I walked over to the car and opened while watching Edward retrieve something from underneath the dinner table. He reached me, slid into the car, and moments later, there was music coming from the open car door.

It took me a while to recognize the melody. "Claire De Lune?"

"Very good, Bella. You know Debussy?"

"I only know my favorites."

"This is one of my favorites too." He smiled at me before bowing. "Dance with me, dear lady?"

I curtsied. "Of course, kind sir. I must mention, though, that I am not an accomplished dancer."

"No matter, my dear. It's all in the leading." His eyes twinkled at me. Edwards placed his hands around my waist, and pulled me close. We swayed to the music at first before moving. Edward twirled me around and around until I was laughing and giggling like a little girl. We moved all over. The beach was our stage.

"Edward, you make me laugh so much. But, that's not the only thing you do."

The song was drawing to a close, and Edward and I were once again swaying on the spot.

"You make me happy... You make Cormac happy. When I'm with you, I feel weird. I'm always aware of everything I say to you. I feel uncomfortable when I'm with you, yet I can't stand it when you're not around. What I'm trying to say is that, I love you." Not once did I break eye contact with him during my confession. I wanted to watch his every reaction. I waited for the laughter, the rejection, the pain but there was nothing. He was silent.

"You love me?" he asked.

I nodded slowly. He smiled widely, and before I knew it, he was laughing.

"It's not funny. I'm after pouring my heart out to you, and all you can do is laugh?" I knew he couldn't love me. Why did I even tell him?

"I'm not laughing because it's funny. I'm laughing because I'm so incredibly happy to find out that the woman I love, loves me in return."

"The woman you love?"

"Yes, of course. I love you, Bella. How could I not? You are the epitome of perfection. Everything about you is amazing, and makes me love you more and more. Your hair, your eyes, your lips, the way you blush so easily, and the way you bite your bottom lip when you get nervous. I love you because you are smart, beautiful, kind, selfless, and clumsy." He laughed at the last part. "But most of all, I love you because you are you. I love you, da–"

He was cut off by my lips making their way to his. He replied just as enthusiastically. He lifted me up, and spun me around and around, not once breaking the kiss. We eventually collapsed on the sand, gasping for air and grinning at each other.

"I love you," he said to me, kissing my hair.

"I love you, too," I sang.

"I could really get used to hearing you say that."

"Well, get used to it, because you'll be hearing it a lot," I said before kissing him again sweetly on the lips.

The stars were still glowing brightly and shooting across the sky, and we lay there in each others arms.

Yes, I was aware that my new dress was crumpled and very likely ruined, and yes, I knew that Alice was very likely going to kill me, but I didn't care. I could deal with that tomorrow. All I needed right now, was tonight. I was here tonight with Edward, and he loved me.

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**A/n **So what did you all think? Please review!! I'm well on my way to gettin 500 reviews. YAY it makes me so happy.

A lot of things have happened since I last updated - some of them good, some of them not so good but what can you do? One of the good things is that my school sends 2-3 students out to Lourdes every year as part of the Youth. All those interested go out and do a lot of fundraising to raise the money and well the lucky person that I ma got picked to go. So I'm basically getting an all expenses paid trip to France for 5 days in May without my parents. =] The only downside is that it's a pilgrimage but I don't really mind because you're supposed to benefit spiritually and it's also supposed to be a lot of fun with the Youth. So I'm excited. I was out before 4 years ago I think and I was stuck with my mum and brother the entire time and I still enjoyed myself.

It's St. Patrick's day on Tuesday - must find some green clothes and get my shamrocks ready.

Right well review please and I'll try and update soon.

Helen =]


	21. Beyond Perfection

**A/n **Here you all go my pretties!! The next chapter. I got this written so soon because I've been off school since Monday for St. Patrick's Day. Did any of you do anything exciting?

This is also out sooner because my beta **twilight-is-lovee** is on holidays.

Just to let you all know it gets a little bit heated at the end. Actually I'd hardly call it heated. It's like a mild pepperoni pizza or something.

Anyway read on!! =]

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If You Could See Me Now.

_Disclaimer: I do not own Twilight or Cecelia Ahern's If You Could See Me Now.. This is just my version using Twilight characters. I have changed the storyline but some incidents that occur may seem similar to those that happen in the book._

**_Chapter 21: Beyond Perfection._**

It was bliss, lying here with Bella. Actually, bliss doesn't even come close to describing how it felt lying with her, kissing her, knowing that she loves me. Words can't describe how I'm feeling right now.

All these years I've thought I've been perfectly content helping children. I thought I was complete in myself, that nothing could ever give me a greater joy than seeing my Best Friend's face light up when I've helped them. How wrong I was.

All that matters to me now is Bella. She's my one reason to exist. I live to make her happy and make sure that a frown never crosses her perfect features, not that she isn't unbelievably cute when she pouts.

I know I only have a limited time with her, so the one thing that will help me through this is knowing that she will get over me… eventually. I know she may hurt for a long time, but that's the beauty of being human, you pick up the pieces and move on. She deserves to forget about me. She deserves to get married to someone who her family can actually see.

It's my fault that she will be hurt, because I never intended for Bella to fall in love with me. I knew from the moment I first saw her that she was going to be one of the most special people I would ever meet, and I wasn't wrong. The more time I spent with her, the harder it was to stay away. Then when she started seeing me was the moment I should have distanced myself or stayed away altogether. But, I'm much too selfish for my own good. I told myself that I would leave when all her problems were sorted, when she didn't need me anymore. But now, she needs me more than ever. She loves me, and it's all my fault. I am going to go away. I have no choice in the matter. She is going to be in so much pain when that happens, and I'll be to blame. I can't bear seeing Bella in pain, but knowing that it's because of me and there's nothing I can do about it causes me unimaginable pain. There is no way I can stop her from hurting, because there isn't any way to stop me from leaving.

_But what if there was a way? Carlisle and Sarah managed it. Why can't Bella and I?_

Of course we can't. It's like Carlisle said, I'm sorting through her problems. I haven't actually talked to her about them; it's more the effect my presence has on her. It's making her realize what she wants and who she needs. It's making her the person she wants to be, and it helped her to take those steps towards reconciling with Charlie and Rosalie.

I did help her realize that what she really wants to do in life is photography. I knew that the day in the meadow, as soon as she took that camera in her hands, she could never be happy displaying someone else's art in the gallery. She could never be satisfied until it was her own art being displayed to the world, bringing joy to people. But that's the kind of person Bella is; a kind, selfless person that always puts other people's cares before her own. It wouldn't be the fact that she was displaying the work she loved and enjoyed doing to everyone just to get some recognition that would bring her the most joy. No, it would be the fact that people would hopefully benefit from her work. She hoped that her work would make people happy or even inspire them to follow their own dreams.

"Edward?" Bella's sweet chiming voice sounded in my head. I jumped slightly. I had almost forgotten that I was still lying on the beach with Bella. I was much too absorbed in my thoughts.

"Yes, dearest, sweetest, most beloved Bella of mine?" I know I went a bit over the top with that greeting but I wanted her to know just how much I really did love her.

"Well, my darling, most charming Edward, tonight is a very special for two reasons. Number one, you love me and I love you, so that automatically makes this the most special night ever, but there's also another amazing thing happening up in the sky, and I think I'd like to take photographs of them. You never know, I might use them for the exhibition."

I slapped myself on the forehead. How silly of me? Of course she would want to record this miraculous night.

"Well, love of mine, do you have your camera with you?"

She grinned sheepishly at me. "It's in the car. I somehow knew I was going to need it tonight. I don't know. It's like I knew I was going to want to remember this night forever."

I wrapped my arm around her and whispered softly in her ear. "That's okay. I know I will definitely remember this forever."

We walked hand in hand to the car, and she went and fetched her camera. She told me to walk on ahead; she'd follow behind soon enough. She wanted to get a few pictures from the sand dunes first before walking along the actual beach. I watched as she took the pictures. Her face was just so cute. It was scrunched up a little in concentration, and then once she had taken the photo, it would relax. She carried on like this for every photograph. It was quite amusing.

I turned my back to her and plopped myself on the sand like before. I heard more clicking noises from the camera and a few minutes later Bella gently sat herself down beside me.

"You finished taking pictures for tonight then?" I asked while pulling her close.

"Uuummm, I think so," she said, resting her head in the crook of my neck.

"Can I see them then?"

"No. Not yet."

"Why?" I whined at her and flashed my puppy dog look at her.

She smiled and said. "You'll see them soon enough. Just not yet. I have to edit them a bit first."

"You know…" I said threateningly. "I could always torture them out of you." At that, I wiggled my fingers at her and she burst out laughing.

"You'd have to catch me first," she said quickly, giving me a chaste kiss on the lips before jumping up and running away from me. It took me a few seconds to process what had just happened. One minute she was snug in my lap, and the next she's away, running, laughing her head off. I jumped up and followed her.

Bella may be fast, but I'm faster.

I quickly caught up with her, grabbed her from behind, and swirled her round and round. "Gotcha," I yelled, and she struggled only slightly in my arms. Bella was gasping from laughing so much.

"Oh, God, I'm too weak from laughing to fight back," she panted. I stopped swirling her around, and she clung to me for support, her shoulders still shaking with amusement.

Once she had calmed down, she looked up at the sky once more. The Delta Aquarids was coming to a close. She sighed and looked at me sadly.

"I think it's time to head home." I nodded in understanding. I was just as reluctant as she was for this night to end. But, it didn't have to end here, did it?

We walked to the car, and I got into the back seat. The door was still open from when Bella had gone to fetch her camera. She looked at me strangely.

"I just feel like having a bit of a stretch," I answered her unasked question. She just shrugged her shoulders and got into the front of the car.

On the drive home, I know I shouldn't have been distracting her, but I couldn't keep my hands of Bella. I would gently brush my hand on her cheek or play with the ends of her hair. After she had given out to me for the third time, I finally settled my head on the shoulder of her seat. She looked back at me quickly and smiled before focusing on the road.

She parked the car in the drive and stepped out. When I didn't move she looked confused. How do I tell her that I can't open doors?

Before I could open my mouth to say anything, she slapped herself on the forehead.

"Of course you can't open the door, the child lock is on," she said shaking her head and then proceeded to open the door for me. I sighed in relief. I had never even thought on the child lock.

I stepped outside and stood beside Bella in front of her house. Neither of us said anything, she just opened the house door and stood aside to let me in. I, being the gentleman that I was, motioned for her to go first. She shook her head wearily and walked on through to the kitchen. I closed the door behind me and followed her.

Bella had the coffee machine on and was standing by the kitchen sink. I walked over to her and wrapped my arms around her waist

before kissing her softly on the lips.

"I love you," I whispered against her lips.

"I love you, too," she whispered back. She pushed herself closer to me and rested her head on my chest. We continued to kiss and cuddle in the kitchen, and forgot all about coffee.

"Don't ever leave me," Bella said softly.

"Not ever."

With that said, her lips captured mine again. Both of us knew what was going to happen. Both of us wanted it to happen. Our lips melted together and her touch sent thrills up my spine. My blood tingled like electricity underneath my skin. Her hands slowly started to unbutton my shirt and her kisses left a trail of fire running from my neck down my chest. I hoisted Bella up onto the counter and my hands ran up and down her body. She raised her hands up and I pulled of her ruined blue dress. My fingers lingered on the lace of her bra before I wrapped my arms around her and lifted her up. She wrapped her legs around me, and we were locked together. We started to make our way up the stairs to her room. My arm hit something in the hall. It fell to the ground and smashed. I set her down and checked to see what had broken.

"We can clear it up later," Bella whispered passionately, and then led me to her room. She sat herself down on the soft covers of her bed and motioned for me to join her. I lay down beside her, and we carried on where we had left off. Bella's hands moved towards the waist of my pants. She helped me remove the rest of my clothing and I, of course did the same for her. We were lying on her bed, seeing each other for the first time. We were no longer just Bella and Edward. We were a man and a woman. We were every man and woman in the world who had ever been lucky enough to find their other half, their soul mate.

I kissed her all over, tasting her, whispering a thousand loving words against her skin.

I kissed just above her left breast where her heart is. "A kiss for the heart, where the wounds are deepest."

I tasted all of Bella that night, and it was beyond perfection.

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**A/n **So what did you all think? Like it? Love it? Hate it? Review and let me know. I need 7 more reviews and we will reach our aim of 500. So you know what that means - I have a new aim of 600 for for the end of this. =]

Just to let you all know this chapter kind of took a life of it's own. I was debating with myself should I or should I not have them sleep together then once I started writing it just happened. I think it kind of fit.

You all realise that I'm only buttering you all up with all these lovey-dovey, rainbows and sunshine dust chapters before the inevitale happens. Is it just me or does anyone else feel the need to smile when someone says sunshine dust?

Anyway review please oh and I want to thank **Hellisntthatbadwhenuhavanangel **for reading and reviewing nearly every chapter on one sitting. Also to **Edward Cullen is my hero** who is just new to FF and is writing her own FF and she is just so awesome in real life. Wa-choo to you Manda, Wa-choo!! lol

So please review.

Wa-choo. (That's supposed to be a whip crack in case you couldn't tell. It's my new thing. lol)

Helen =]

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	22. It's a start

**If You Could See Me Now.**

_Disclaimer: I do not own Twilight or Cecelia Ahern's If You Could See Me Now. This is just my version using Twilight characters. I have changed the storyline but some incidents that occur may seem similar to those that happen in the book._

**_Chapter 22:_** **_It's a start._**

**Bpov**

The morning sunlight made its way through my window and woke me up. I was warm, comfortable, and tired. It was a good tiredness, a lazy one, and my bed felt smaller somehow. It was then I realized that Edward's arms were wrapped around me. Last night's events came flooding back, and I couldn't stop the grin that broke out on my face.

I scooted around in his arms to face him, moving gently so as not to wake him. I was met by his beautiful green eyes, bright with joy and love.

"Well, don't you look happy today?" He grinned at me.

"I could say the same for you." I smirked at him before kissing him gently on the lips.

"I have every right to be. I've just spent one of the most amazing nights ever with the woman I love." I kissed him again, and he deepened it. Edward rolled me over and tightened his grip on me, securing me to him. I could only smile against his lips. After a few moments, he pulled back to gaze at me.

"As much as I would love to continue this, I really must get up. I have to collect Cormac and Rose. I promised Charlie I would bring them over."

Edward did the best display of puppy-dog eyes I've ever seen, and it almost made me change my mind. Almost.

"Besides, the shower calls. I smell like sex." Edward laughed, and I walked over to my bathroom, grabbing a few towels on the way. I walked into the bathroom and turned around to find Edward standing behind me.

"Where do you think you're going?" I asked him.

"Well, like you said, the shower calls. Both of us need one, and we all need to do our bit for the environment, so why not conserve water and take one together?" he said teasingly.

"You really are just perfect, aren't you?" I smiled at him. He just winked at me and closed the door behind me.

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After breakfast and many delayed goodbyes, Edward and I finally went our separate ways. I went to collect Cormac, and he went see his family.

As soon as I pulled up to Alice's drive, the door was flung open. By the time I'd parked, both Rose and Alice were at my car door. I stepped outside and was immediately bombarded with questions.

"How did it go?" "Did he bring flowers?" "Where did you go?" "Why are you so late in getting here?" "Did he stay the night?" "Oh my God. He did, didn't he?" "Of course he did, look at her. She can't stop smiling."

The two then broke off into their own conversation as if I wasn't there. Alice linked arms with me while Rose entered the house in front of us.

"JASPER, BELLA GOT SOME LAST NIGHT!" Rose yelled to the entire house.

"Rose, shush. Cormac is here," I reprimanded her.

"Like he knows what I'm saying." She chuckled but lowered her voice.

"So, come on, tell us all about it," Rose demanded, and led me into the kitchen where Jasper was sitting at the table. He waved at me when I entered.

"Hey, Bella. Good time last night?" he teased me.

I shook my head and launched into my story, telling the girls everything about last night. I told them about the date, the meteor shower, the food, the music, but I saved the best for last.

Rose was sitting there with her arms wrapped around her, looking lost in a dream world. Alice kept shooting glances at Jasper.

"Why can't you ever do anything like that for me?" She pretended to be angry, but I knew she didn't really care. Alice and Jasper didn't need fancy displays to let each other know that they were loved. "Anyway, Bella, continue."

"So we were dancing in the sand, and it was so romantic. He was so gentle, and he kept gazing into my eyes. Oh, girls, his eyes!" I gushed. "Have I mentioned his eyes? It's as if God had created the color green and captured that moment in those two pools of emerald glass," I sighed. I missed this, chatting to the girls. I haven't had a proper girl-talk in so long. "So we were dancing, and I told him that he made me happy and that he made Cormac happy, and I told him how I felt when I was around him, and then…" I bit my bottom lip. "Then I told him that I loved him."

I jumped at the reaction from Alice and Rose. They both screamed at me.

"YOU WHAT?" "WHY?" "WHAT DID HE SAY?" "I CAN'T BELIEVE YOU DID THAT!"

They both leaned towards me, eager for my answer. "He laughed at me," I said, but before I could continue, their faces changed.

"HE WHAT?" "AFTER YOU POURED YOUR HEART OUT TO HIM." "THE BASTARD." "HE DOESN'T DESERVE YOU."

I laughed at them both. "Calm down, girls. I thought he was rejecting me, too. But you know what he said to me? He said he was happy because the woman he loved, loved him in return." I smiled hugely at them both.

Alice and Rose both squealed and jumped at me, wrapping their arms around me.

"He's so sweet." "Awwwww." "Wow! I'm so happy for you." "Congratulations, sweetie."

"Thanks, guys," I laughed at them. Jasper, who had hiding behind his paper throughout all of this, put it down and gave me a hug too.

"So, when do we get to meet the lucky guy?" he asked.

"Um, well as you all know, my exhibition opens in two weeks, so I'm planning on throwing a party the Saturday before it. I guess you can meet him then."

"Okay, it's all settled. I really can't wait to meet him. Do you think he'll bring friends?" Rose wondered.

I laughed at her. "I don't know. He might. He has a brother, you know, about your age." I winked at her.

Just then, the kitchen door opened and in walked Cormac.

"Mommy!" he yelled and ran over to me, hugging my waist.

"How's my little man?" I asked him, bending down to be at his level and hugging him. "I missed you, sweetie. Were you good for you Aunts Alice and Rose and Uncle Jasper?"

"Yup. We went to the zoo, and then Uncle Jasper made fun of all the animals. He made the same noises as them and everything."

"Well isn't your uncle just a silly billy."

He noddded enthusiastically, and Jasper protested.

"Mommy, did you have a good time with Edward? You look very happy."

"Yes, sweetie. I had a great time."

"What did you do?"

I didn't quite know what to say in return, but Jasper interrupted me.

"They played lots and lots of games, Mac."

"You did? What did you play, Mom?"

Again, Jasper answered. "They played tunnels and trains." Jasper smirked at me and raised his eyebrows suggestively while my eyes widened.

"But Mom, you don't have a train."

I was utterly speechless. I could kill Jasper for his innuendos. I had no idea what to say to Cormac.

"It was Edward's train." Jasper laughed at his own joke. I could see Alice and Rose shaking with silent giggles out of the corner of my eyes.

Finally, I found my voice and said, "Alice, get Cormac his breakfast. I have to talk to _you_." I pointed at Jasper. He just smirked at me and followed me into the hallway. As soon as the door closed, I heard Alice and Rose burst into laughter.

"Don't you ever do that again, Jasper! Have you any idea how embarrassing that was?" I hissed at him.

"Jeez, relax, Bella. Cormac is 6 years old. I doubt he could understand my little innuendos," he said, but he did look sorry for what he did.

"That's not the point, Jasper. This is my life, and I don't want you making jokes about it."

"I'm sorry, Bella, okay? I was only messing around. I thought I was just being funny. I didn't think on how you would react."

"You're forgiven." I hugged him, and we went back into the kitchen.

"I hope you gave him a wallop, Bella," Rose said as we came in.

"Oh yeah, she beat the crap out of me. I think I finally understood the meaning of 'hell hath no fury like a woman scorned'," Jasper joked.

"Good for you, Bella. It's time someone taught him some manners," Alice chirped while giving Jasper a kiss on the cheek.

"Um… Rose. I'm going to Charlie's today with Cormac. He would really love it if you came, too."

She looked a little shocked at first. "You mean he actually wants me there?"

"Yeah. The night we patched things up, I mentioned that I would bring both you and Cormac, and his face just lit up."

"Um… okay." She nodded. "Yeah, I'll go." She smiled and hugged me.

"Okay, well we're going to go once Cormac has finished his breakfast and gets changed."

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"Oh God! I can't remember the last time I was down this road. It must be years ago," Rose said quietly. "Do you really think he'll be glad to see me?"

I placed one and on her arm, and gave it a gentle squeeze.

"Of course he will. He's our father. No matter how bad things have been over these past few years, he's always loved us."

She nodded but remained silent for the rest of the journey.

When we pulled up to our home place, the curtain in the front room twitched. The next moment Charlie was on the porch waiting for us. He looked a lot better than the last time I saw him. His thinning hair was washed and combed, his face clean-shaven, and he must have also bought himself a new shirt.

The house looked to be in pretty good shape, too. It was freshly painted, and the garden seemed to have been spruced up, also. The rocking chair that used to belong in my room had been placed on the porch, and the swing chair had been fixed up. The broken screen door had been replaced with a shiny new one.

As soon as I stopped the car, Cormac had the door open and was running towards his grandfather.

"Grandpa!" he yelled and ran into his arms. Charlie huffed and puffed a little with the force, but he looked delighted to see his grandson.

"Hey, Cormac. You seem to get bigger every time I see you." He looked up and smiled at both Rose and I.

"Hey Bells, Rosie. How are you both?" he asked shyly.

"I'm good, yeah, and you?" I answered, while Rose just mumbled something even I couldn't make out.

"I'm good, coping you know. Sue Clearwater comes round once or twice a week. She keeps me on the right track."

"That's great." I smiled at him. After that, there was an awkward silence. None of us knew what to say next.

"Shall… um… shall we go inside?" Charlie asked, motioning to the door.

"Yes, of course." I followed him inside while Rose made sure to keep close to me. We sat down at the kitchen table, and I looked around. After all these years, it hadn't changed one bit. The cupboards were still painted yellow from the time my mother tried to bring more sunshine into the house. The same curtains still hung from the window. One time Rose and I had been playing with glitter and we got some stuck to the table with superglue - there was still a small patch of it there.

Charlie made us some coffee and sat down across from us. Cormac was in the living room watching a nature program on TV.

"So how are things, Rosie?"

She didn't make eye contact with him. "Things are great. I'm living with Bella's friend, Alice, and her boyfriend. I've got myself a job, and I'm thinking about going back to college."

"That's really great." He got up and headed towards the door. "Excuse me. I'll just be a moment."

When he went out the door Rose turned to me immediately. "Bella, I don't think I can do this. I thought I could, but every time he opens his mouth, all I think of is every single hurtful thing that he ever said to me. I want to be able to do this. I've forgiven him, but it still hurts."

"Of course it does, Rose. I feel the same way, but I want us all to get over this. I want us all to be a family again. Cormac needs him, and whether or not you believe this is up to you, but Charlie needs us, too. He's lonely, and we're the only family he's got. He's our father for goodness sake!"

"Then isn't it about time he started acting like it," Rose snapped.

"He's trying. I know he is, but you have to try, too. Meet him halfway." Footsteps could be heard from the hall. Charlie was on his way back.

"I'll try, but I'm not making any promises," she whispered just as Charlie entered.

"Sorry. Nature calls, you know…" he trailed of, avoiding eye contact. For a few moments, Charlie stood awkwardly by the door, glancing at Rose and me before looking at the floor again. Finally, he took a deep breath before walking back over to his seat.

"Rose?"

She didn't look up when he called, but turned her head slightly to show that she was listening.

"I'm sorry."

"You're sorry?" she asked, and he nodded. "What good is sorry to me? Sorry is just a word. It doesn't mean anything. What I needed was a father, and he wasn't there. He was off getting drunk every night of the week. I did everything I could think of to get your attention. I got arrested, drank, took drugs. Everything! But you never noticed. You just sat there in your drunken stupor. Hell, you weren't even there when I was in the hospital. You didn't care, so why bother starting now?"

He sat there, and with every blow, he seemed to sink lower into his chair. His head hung down, and it looked as if he barely had the energy to lift it.

"Yes, sorry is just a word, but it's the meaning behind it that's important," he whispered before raising his head to look at us. "You have no idea how much both you girls remind me of your mother, and after she died, I wanted to be rid of the pain. Seeing you girls everyday reminded me of your mother, and what a huge hole her passing away left in my heart. I wanted to forget that pain, so I drank. I drank until the pain went away, at least, for a little while. I wasn't aware of anything. I didn't even know which day of the week it was. Yes, I was in a drunken stupor, as you said, but never for one moment think that I never ever stopped caring about both of you. I know I've never been the best father and I know I haven't been there for you, but if you're going to believe anything I say, believe this: I have never stopped loving both of you. You are my daughters, and I want you both to know that I am so proud of the wonderful women you have grown up to be."

I could feel the tears building up behind my eyes. I looked at Rose who's expression matched mine. He had changed, and this time, I knew he meant it.

"I just wanted to explain to you how I felt so that maybe you could understand. I'm getting better now. Sue's helping me. She's been a real pillar of support."

The tears broke free and started streaming down my face. I couldn't answer him, but I nodded and went over to hug him. He wrapped his arms around me and I felt like a little girl again.

"I'm glad things are going so well for you, Dad."

Rose just sat there, but I could see the shiny streaks on her face. She nodded her head in agreement.

"Yeah, me, too." Her voice thick with emotion.

She didn't move from her chair. She just sat there, but at least she answered. It was a start. I know they both had a long way to go, but it's a start.

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**A/n** Ha ha ha! Tunnels and trains. I saw that on an episode of Ally McBeal and I just had to include it. lol

Woo Hoo! I want to thank all my reviewers. I think we can get to 600. So review! It's much appreciated. I have the rest of the chapters planned out in my head and I think there will be 4-5 chapters left. I know, right? I'm as shocked as you are. lol

Today I was just thinking about my Granda and how he used to talk to the flowers. He used to sit in his chair by the window and read the newspaper to it. Apparently it helped them grow. I think it really did work because he used to tend to all his plants but this one was the only one he read to. It always seemed brighter and healthier than the others also. After he died we still tended to them all but the one he read never really seemed healthy as it was. I don't know why I mentioned this but I thought it was kind of strange. lol Does anyone else know people who talk to their flowers?

Oh yeah I probably won't get a chance to start on the next chapter until next week because my mum is going away for a few days so I'm staying at my aunt's house until Sunday. Then Sunday morning my aunt is leaving my cousin and I at the house while she goes and collect mum. My brother will have had a party with his friends on Saturday night for his 18th so Emma and I will have to tidy the house on Sunday morning for the party we're having with the family for him. Lucky us huh?

Anyway I'll let you go now before my a/n becomes longer than the actual chapter. Btw did anyone notice that my chapters are getting a bit longer. Even without the a/n it was over 3000 words.

Review!

Helen =]


	23. This part is by far not my favorite

**A/n **This is the chapter everyone has been dreading but the one I've been looking forward to most to writing. I know it's short but I found that no matter how hard I tried I just couldn't make it longer. Oh yeah sorry I didn't reply to anyone's reviews. I've been so busy this past week.

I told my cousin which chapter this was and this was her reaction - "NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!"

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**If You Could See Me Now.**

_Disclaimer: I do not own Twilight or Cecelia Ahern's If You Could See Me Now. This is just my version using Twilight characters. I have changed the storyline but some incidents that occur may seem similar to those that happen in the book._

**_Chapter 23: This part is by far not my favorite. _**

**Epov**

It was half an hour before Bella's guests were supposed to arrive. I came around early to see if she needed help setting everything up. She's now running around the house like a headless chicken, making last minute preparations. I helped Bella this morning to set up a long buffet table out in her back garden.

There were various desserts spread across the table: black forest gateaux, banoffee pie, pavlova, and cheesecake. The finger food was at the other end of the table: chicken drumsticks marinated in a Chinese sauce, cocktail sausages, fries, pizza, and several salads. Beside the vegetarian dishes were plates, cutlery, and glasses.

"Edward?" Bella called as she entered the garden through her conservatory doors. "Is this dress okay for tonight? You don't think it's too fancy for a little garden party?"

"No, love, it's fine," I replied. In fact, it was much more than fine. She looked absolutely breathtaking—far too tempting for her own good.

Bella, Alice, and Rosalie had gone shopping again this week to find an outfit for the party. Bella had come home with a knee-length, black dress. It contrasted beautifully with her pale skin. It was on off-the-shoulder number with beading around the neckline and hem. A blood red sash ran around the waist, and accented Bella's curves. Her jewellery was minimal; a ring with a red stone, red stud earrings, a few bangles on one arm, and a silver necklace with a red stone that sat neatly above the neckline of her dress. Her shoes were black peep toe sandals with a small heel.

Her little garden party was far from it. I think most of Forks had been invited, along with half of the residents of La Push. It's a good thing Bella has a huge back garden because I don't know how everyone would all fit if it was any smaller. Fairy lights had been hung from every tree courtesy of me. Well, me being ordered by Bella.

She stood in the middle of the garden, hands on her hips, as if she was on patrol. She walked over to the table and motioned to me.

"Okay. When everyone comes in, I want you to direct them to the table, and show them where the queue starts and finishes." She directed me through everything she wanted me to do and say to everyone.

"Bella, love, I think you should let people do what they want tonight. Just relax. Your guests will get their food when they want. Besides, I think they would prefer to feel like they are at a party instead of being hustled and bustled around like they are at a cattle mart."

She closed her eyes and sighed. "I know. I know. You're right. It's just that I'm so nervous, and this is the first party I've ever thrown."

"Shhh. Everything will be great." I put my arm around her. "Don't worry. You will be the best hostess in the world, and everyone will love you," I said before kissing her softly on the lips. "And I'll be here for whenever you need me."

Bella breathed deeply and leaned into me. "I'm counting on that," she whispered before jumping. Someone was at the door.

"You get that, and I will see to Cormac." I followed Bella inside, but while she went to the door, I went to find Cormac. I found him sitting in his room, reading a book. I've been feeling a little guilty that I haven't been spending that much time with Cormac.

"Hey there, buddy. You missed me?"

"Hi, Edward. Um, not really."

"Oh, well, thanks," I said sarcastically. "Do you want to know where I've been?"

"I know where you've been. Smooching with Mom." He did fake kissing noises before bursting into a fit of giggles.

I felt my jaw hit the floor. "Hey! What on earth makes you say that?"

"You love her," He said, shrugging his shoulders. I thought about that for a while before answering.

"I do. Are we still friends?"

"Yup, but Tom is my _best_ friend."

I pretended to be offended before I bent down to hug him, and then lifted him onto my shoulders. Cormac giggled and laughed as we walked downstairs.

"Ed_ward_! Put me down," he said between laughs. Once we reached the kitchen, I settled him on the ground and helped him put on his waistcoat. He looked really cute in his new jeans, gray shirt, and black waistcoat. His curly hair looked as if it had been brushed but then purposely messed up again.

I was wearing a light blue shirt, gray dress trousers, and a gray tie. I knew they didn't go with my outfit, but I couldn't resist wearing my blue converse. They were by far my favorite.

Cormac was fiddling with the buttons on his waistcoat and trying unsuccessfully to close them.

"Here, buddy, let me help." I got down on my knees to help him button up his waistcoat.

While I was helping Cormac, I looked out to the garden, and saw Bella laughing with Alice, Rosalie, Jasper, Charlie, and three other people I didn't recognize, but I knew by their dark skin that they were from La Push.

"Mac? Who are those four people?"

"Huh?" He turned his head to look. "Oh that's Grandpa's friend Sue Clearwater, her daughter Leah, and I think the other person is Jared. He was a friend of my dad. Jared is cool, but Leah can be a grump sometimes. Mom says it's because she's always PMSing, but I don't know what that means."

I couldn't help but feel the jealousy build up inside me as I watched Bella and Jared talking and laughing between themselves. They were standing a little off to the right of the rest of the group. I wanted to be able to go out there and talk amongst her friends. I wanted to get to know them all, and tell them just how much I loved Bella.

I turned back to finish buttoning up Cormac's jacket when I heard Bella call for me.

"Edward!" she called.

Without looking up from what I was doing, I answered. "Yes?"

"EDWARD!" she called again.

"Yes?" I said impatiently and stood up straight. I brushed myself off and looked at Bella.

Her eyes scanned the garden and passed right over mine.

My heart skipped a beat. I swear it stopped.

She continued to scan the garden, searching again. "Bella?" I called, my voice shook and crackled. I started to breath heavily. "Bella?" I called again, but nothing happened. She walked right past me into the house muttering as she walked by.

"Where the hell did he go? He was here a minute ago."

I tried to walk after her, but my legs were too shaky, so I clung to the wall for support. The pain that welled up inside of me was unbearable. Her beautiful, brown eyes passed right over mine, as if I wasn't there. As if, I was invisible.

As if, I didn't exist.

Pretty soon, more people started to arrive, and I was pushed to the very back of the garden. Bella was in full hostess mode. She was mingling with the crowd, laughing, dancing, and I wasn't there. It was as if I was on the outside, staring in a window.

I watched as Mrs. Clearwater and several other ladies complained about the fat in all the desserts, yet sneaked themselves another piece while no one was watching. I watched Alice and Jasper stare lovingly into each other eyes while dancing. Rosalie and Leah were gossiping by the drink stand. Charlie was standing with a few men, one who I recognized as Mike Newton. Every so often, Charlie would sneak a glance over at Bella, who was standing with Jared. Their heads were close together, talking to each other about old times.

I saw it all, and yet wasn't a part of it. I wasn't there. I didn't exist to these people.

"Edward!" Bella grabbed my arm from behind. "Where have you been? I've been looking for you for over an hour!"

"I've been right here," I answered weakly. I was so shocked that she had actually spoken to me that I could hardly talk. The relief I felt when she actually looked at me was immense.

"I've been around here about five times already and you weren't here," she answered crossly, but her facial expressions softened when she saw how terrible I looked.

"Oh darling, are you alright?" she asked, placing a cool hand on my forehead. "Have you had anything to eat?"

I shook my head. I didn't care that I hadn't eaten anything; I was simply savouring every moment her chocolate brown eyes gazed into my own.

"I'm about to take a pizza out of the oven. How about I go get you some?" She smiled at me and touched my cheek briefly. "Stay right there. I need to introduce you to some people," she warned me.

_Oh, don't worry, Bella. I'm not going anywhere._

A few moments later, Bella walked out again with my slice of pizza. She walked towards me. The pizza smelled so good my mouth started to water. I hadn't even thought I was hungry. She stopped in front of me, and I reached for the pizza, but her face hardened, and she walked away.

"Damn it Edward. Where the hell have you got to now?"

The first time I thought was unbearable, but now to have her ripped away from me again is a thousand times worse. All of my strength left me. My knees buckled, and I collapsed on the ground. I backed up against the wall of the house and put my head in my hands.

My beautiful angel was leaving me. She didn't need me anymore. She was spreading her wings and flying away.

I felt a hand on my shoulder. I looked up to find Cormac staring down at me sadly. There were tears in his eyes.

"It's happening isn't it?"

I couldn't find my voice, so I just nodded my head weakly.

This was the worst part of being an Imaginary Friend. This was the part where the fun ends.

This part was by far not my favorite.

**A/n** Okay so please put down your torches and pitchforks and please don't kill me. You all knew this was coming. I warned you all well in advance. I know it doesn't seem like it can't be possible but this does have a happy ending. Do you think I would take you all through this rollercoaster ride just to have them not get together in the end. Who do you people think I am? Some mad person that loves watching people suffer and gets enjoyment out of stories where the happy couple get torn apart in the end? Well yes I do enjoy that but not in my stories. Okay? Right we got that all sorted.

Oh yeah you may remember that I had plans to write a "dark story", well that plan is being put on hold. I have these two ideas tha have been buzzing around in my head for a while now and I just have to write them. They are as follows:

**A Memory From a Dream: **1709-Isabella DeSwannes fell in love with Edward Cuilleno. 2009-Edward Cullen meets the mysterious Bella Swan, a girl he's only just met yet has dreamt about for years. Why does he feel a connection with her and how does she know so much about him? AH/AU

**You Belong with Me:** Bella has been in love with Edward since the first grade. Edward loves different girls each week. When he finally realises what it is he wants, Bella is excited yet is left disappointed. It isn't her he loves. It's Rosalie, her best friend. AH - Some of this is written fom personaly experience and is also based upon the Taylor Swift song Invisible.

Anyway review and again please don't kill me.

Helen


	24. Finally understanding

**If You Could See Me Now**

_Disclaimer: I do not own Twilight or Cecelia Ahern's If You Could See Me Now. This is just my version using Twilight characters. I have changed the storyline but some incidents that occur may seem similar to those that occur in the book._

**_Chapter 24: Finally understanding._**

**Bpov**

Where on earth could Edward have gone to tonight? He left without saying goodbye. Was he upset with me for some reason? When I last spoke to him, he didn't seem upset, but he did look ill. Maybe he left early because he wasn't feeling well.

It was after two in the morning before the last of my guests left. I was exhausted but delighted by the success of my party. Many people had promised to drop by next week to the opening of my exhibition. I actually enjoyed myself immensely tonight. I thought that I wouldn't be able to mingle amongst the crowd, but it was a lot easier than I imagined. I really enjoyed the company of the people of this town—especially Jared's. I'd forgotten how close we used to be. It was nice to talk about old times; hanging down around La Push, Kim, and Sam. But I still missed Edward. He was supposed to be there beside me tonight. I was hoping to introduce him to my family and friends, but whenever the time came, he wasn't found. I was disappointed, but there would be other times to introduce him to everybody.

I started to clear up all the rubbish, but my exhaustion soon took over, so I slowly dragged myself up the stairs to my room. The tidying up could wait until tomorrow morning. I changed into my nightclothes and climbed into my freshly changed bed. I snuggled into the cool, crisp blanket and soon fell asleep.

I was dreaming. About a meadow. A beautiful meadow filled with wildflowers. It was the same one where Edward, Cormac, and I went dancing. The sun was shining in the clear, blue sky, and I was dancing. I twirled round and round in circles, never getting dizzy. I was singing the song that I haven't been able to get out of my mind for the past two and a half months. I was so happy dancing in this meadow—I never wanted to leave.

"Bella," A musical voice whispered. I continued to twirl around the meadow. No one else was there "Bella," the voice called again, sounding anxious. This time my body started to shake slightly. "I need you to wake up, love. I have to talk to you. It's very important."

"Mmm?" I responded sleepily to the voice.

"Come on, Bella. Open your eyes," the voice whispered again. It was so familiar. It was soft, like velvet.

I opened my eyes slightly and was met by Edward's handsome face. He looked so worried that I lifted my hand slowly and placed it on his cheek. He breathed in deeply into the palm of my hand, and for a few moments, we looked into each other's eyes. His face seemed to light up as he looked at me.

"You have no idea how happy it makes me to see your beautiful eyes stare right into mine."

"Uh-huh," I replied and my eyes fluttered closed. I was losing the battle with sleep, and I wasn't paying much attention to what Edward was saying. I knew I was dreaming, but I couldn't keep my eyes open.

"Bella, love? Can you hear me?"

"Mmm?" I replied and continued to twirl round and round and round.

"Bella, I came to say goodbye. I have to go."

"You just got here. Stay. Sleep," I murmured.

"I'd love to, but I can't. Remember, I said that I would only stay in Forks as long as my job allowed. Well, my time is up. I'm not needed anymore, so I have to go."

I felt his cool breath on my neck and could smell his skin. Pine. Like he'd just been for a walk outside.

"Why?"

"You don't need me anymore. You're going to stop seeing me. Someone else will need me now," he whispered softly into my hair. I leaned up, my eyes still closed, and brushed my lips against his. In my dream, I was running around the meadow. Edward was with me now. He chased me as I skipped and danced amongst the flowers.

"Bella, I want to say that I'm so glad that I met you." He brushed some hair out of my face. "But now it's time for us to part."

"Don't go. Stay. You promised," I murmured sleepily. I didn't want him to go. We were having too much fun.

"I have to go. Please understand." There was something in his voice that made me stop and look at him. His shoulders were slumped, eyes cast down. His face crumpled with sadness. I couldn't stand seeing him like this. In my dream, I walked over to him and wrapped my arms around him.

"Shhh, Edward." I stroked his face gently. "I love you," I whispered against his lips. "Don't forget that."

"I think I've loved you ever since I first saw you, Bella. I love you now and will continue loving you until the end of time."

He kissed me then. It was soft and sweet, but full of emotion. I didn't want him to stop. But he did.

I looked around the meadow. He wasn't there. I was alone again.

My eyes flew open by a cock crowing. I leaned up on one elbow and groggily looked around the room. There was no one there. The room was empty. The sun was slowly rising over the hills, so I lay back in bed, closed my eyes, and continued dreaming.

* * *

**Four days later**

These past few days, I'd been moping around the house in a pair of sweat pants and a t-shirt. I would stop at each room, look around, and then walk out again. I was searching for something, but I couldn't think of what. It was just so confusing. I walked into the living room. Cormac was there, eating a bowl of Coco Puffs and watching a cartoon on the TV.

"Hey, buddy. What are you watching?" I sat down beside him and started to stroke his hair. He looked up at me. There was some of his cereal stuck around his mouth.

"The Morbegs."

"The Morbegs?"

"Yeah. The orange one is Rossa and the green one is Molly."

"Yes," I corrected him. "They look… interesting," I answered. I honestly thought they looked like two huge fur balls with two nightcaps for ears.

"Why aren't you outside? It's a beautiful day. How about we have Tom over today? We haven't seen him in a while.

"Tom and I aren't friends anymore," he said sadly. He looked like he was about to cry. I hugged him tightly and kissed his head.

"Do you want me to talk to him about it?"

He shrugged his shoulders and carried on eating his Coco Puffs.

"You know, I know what it is like to miss a friend, too. I haven't seen Edward in a while, and I miss him."

"I know," he said, sighing. "He was my friend, too. I'm going to miss him."

"What do you mean? He's not going away forever. He'll probably be back in a few days," I said to him, trying to cheer him up.

He shook his head. "No, he said he had to go away because we didn't need him anymore, and there were lots of other boys and girls who need his help. He said I shouldn't be sad because I had lots of people who loved me."

"What?" I said sharply. "When did he say that?" I had to remind myself to stop shooting out questions at him because he was only seven.

"He told me the night of the party. He said he was going to be invisible again, and so he came to say goodbye."

_Invisible? _What on earth? Why would Edward say he was going to be invisible again? Maybe he was crazy after all.

"Why didn't he say goodbye to me?" I said angrily. How could he do this? He would say goodbye to Cormac but not me? I thought he loved me.

"But he did," Cormac said, confused. "I saw him. He went into your room after the party, and I heard him talking to you."

It was then that I remembered the dream. The one in the meadow. He really had been trying to talk to me, and I stupidly thought it was dream.

I had been wandering around the house, feeling lost these past few days because I hadn't realized that I had really lost Edward. In my dreams and in real life.

I could feel the tears building up, but I knew that I shouldn't cry in front of Cormac. Cormac wrapped his small arms around me, and I clung onto him for dear life. Nothing in my mind would process. I could only think of one thing.

"Ekam Eveileb," I whispered.

Cormac chuckled softly. "Yeah! That's a game Edward and I used to play. It's backwards language."

It took me a few second to figure it out.

_Make Believe._

* * *

I left Cormac at Nanny Karen's and drove about in my car, thinking of all the times I was with Edward. We were in public together before, weren't we? I skimmed through every single memory and all those times, not once were we in public together. It was only ever Edward and I, many times Cormac was there, too. At the party, he disappeared and I couldn't find him anywhere, so it was no use asking the guests if they had seen him. Besides, that would have taken too long.

When I thought of the party, Jared came into my mind. Suddenly something clicked. Jared and Paul. Of course! After our day in the meadow, Jared and Paul had come to tell me about Rose. Edward was there. They would have seen him.

I drove ten miles over the speed limit to the Forks police station. Phil was at the desk today. He used to work with Charlie, but was a few years younger than him.

"Hey, Phil, is Jared or Paul working today?"

"Hi, Bella. Yeah, Jared is. I'll go get him for you. Why don't you take a seat?" He disappeared out a door, and a few moments later, he returned with Jared.

"Hi, Bella." He sounded confused. "What brings you here?"

"Um… is there a place we can talk?"

"Yeah, sure. Come on, we'll go into my office." I followed him out the door and into his office.

He sat down behind his desk, which was covered in papers, and pointed to the empty seat in front of him. I ignored and started pacing up and down the room.

"So what do you want to talk about Bella?" Jared asked.

I was silent, trying to process my thoughts. Everything was so confusing, and I knew if I tried to explain it, I would end up sounding crazy.

"I'm sorry, Jared. Do you remember that day when you came to tell me about Rose?"

He still looked confused. "Uh, yeah. Why?"

I was still pacing up and down, one hand on my hip, the other on my forehead. "This is going to sound strange, but do you remember who all was there that day?"

"Yeah. You, Cormac, Paul, and I," he answered simply.

That tiny bit of hope that had been building up inside me like a small spark, choked, and faltered.

"No one else?"

"No. Why?"

"You don't remember seeing Edward there. A tall man, bronze colored hair, and green eyes," I said wearily.

"No, there was nobody else there. Although, I do remember you mentioning an Edward to Cormac. You told him to take Cormac into the conservatory or something like that. I thought that was a little odd. It was like you were talking to yourself."

"I'm not crazy," I said sharply. "He was there."

"Bella, I'm sorry. The only people who I could see were the four of us," he said apologetically.

"But he was so real to me," I said, more to myself than to anyone else. "I… uh… need to go now. I'm sorry for wasting your time," I said hurriedly and ran out the door.

"Bella," Jared called. "I'm always here if you want to talk."

* * *

I was lying in bed that night, contemplating everything I had discovered that day. I couldn't sleep. I tossed and turned for hours but still sleep never came. I looked at the clock.

_2__:55_

I sat up straight in bed and spoke aloud to myself, voice firm and confident.

"Damn them all. I _do _believe!"

I threw off the covers and started dancing around the room. I could just imagine Edward dancing and laughing along with me in celebration.

**A/n**I'm not that happy with this chapter. I was happy with it at first and then I got twilight-is-lovee to beta it. Then when she was done with it and I read over it again I wasn't happy with it. Oh well. I don't know what it is. lol

I have an idea for a Bella/Jasper and I'm thinking about writing it. It needs a lot of more planning and stuff yet. I don't have a name or summary for it yet but if you want some info on it let me know.

I love Coco-pops. I used to eat them all the time when I was younger. I used to watch The Morbegs too. I used to love them but I always thought Rossa was really spoilt and Molly was a cry-baby, still loved them though. lol

Songs I can't get out of mind right now: Don't Trust Me-30H!3, Rocky road to Dublin- Damien Dempsey (Every time I hear that I can't help but feel like dancing and doing a wee ) and Freewheel-Duke Special. I love him. He's so cool. He has such a soft voice and if you took one look at his dreadlocks, eye make-up and majorly baggy trousers you wouldn't think it. Seriously his trousers are beyond wide. Think of those circus people on the stilts and their baggy trousers, well his are something like that. I also love him because he actually sings with his Irish accent. Freewheel, Sweet Sweet Kisses, Our love goes deeper than this and Love is a series of scars are my favs of his. He did this A-MAZING cover of Frankie Goes to Hollywood's The Power of Love. It gave me chills.

Boo Hoo I'm back at school tomorrow. =[ It was nice to have a wee break for Easter anyway. It's not that long until I get my summer holidays anyway. The end of May I think.

Oh Yeah I want to thank all my amazing reviewers for getting me to 600 reviews. 600th reviewer was Aden101. I doubt we'll get to 700 reviews because there's only 2 chapters left. No epilogue. I think 650 is do-able. Don't you?

So yeah you know what to do. Click the button and leave me a few words to tell me what you thought. In one short word what I'm trying to say is REVIEW!!!

I'll try and update soon my pretties. No promises though but .... I'll try.

Charming. =]


	25. The Exhibition

**A/n **Hello my pretties!! I want to thank everyone who reviewed the last chapter. I never thought I would get 700 reviews for this story but thanks to x TWILIGHT x OBSESSED x, mashimaro401 and xox-Smiley-xox who all brought me that much closer by deciding to read this recently and then reviewing every chapter. Also thanks to all my reviewers, each and every one of you. I don't think we'll make the 800, that's just asking a bit too much but maybe we can manage 750. =]**

* * *

**

**If You Could See Me Now.**

_Disclaimer: I do not own Twilight or Cecelia Ahern's If You Could See Me Now. This is just my version using Twilight characters. I have changed the storyline but some incidents that occur may seem similar to those that happen in the book._

**_Chapter 25: The Exhibition._**

**Bpov**

This past week had been more than difficult, but I was thankful Alice and Rose were at my side. I told them that Edward had to leave because of his "work" and that there would be no way for us to continue our relationship. I told them that we both weren't looking for something serious, and that I was okay. I didn't fool them. They knew I was really hurting. They knew that his leaving had left an aching hole in my heart that wouldn't be filled anytime soon.

Cue many, many girly sleepovers, tons of ice cream, chocolate, and boxes of tissues. They were also there to help me finalize all plans for the exhibition, which just so happened to be opening today.

"Mom, what time are we leaving for the gallery?" Cormac asked as he entered my bedroom. Tom was trailing shyly behind him. They had made up after their fight. It was over something silly. Apparently, Cormac had wanted to play one game, and Tom had wanted to do something else, and they had fallen out. Fortunately, it was quickly resolved, and they were best buds again.

"We'll be leaving in a few minutes. I'm dropping you and Tom off at Alice's, and then I'll meet you there."

"Why can't we go with you now?" he whined and plopped himself down on my bed. I went over to him and started tickling him.

"Come on Tom, help me," I laughed. He started to giggle and helped me to tickle Cormac. "Because, my little man, it wouldn't be a surprise then." I let him sit up, and he was panting heavily from laughing.

"Okay," he sighed before getting up and walking out the door. He turned to smile at me before running downstairs, Tom following close behind him.

I got up and scrutinized myself in the mirror. Alice and Rose had actually let me get ready by myself for once, and I was surprised by the result. I had lightly curled my hair, and it hung lightly around my face. My make-up was light: a little foundation, eyeliner, and lip balm. My eyelashes were dark and long enough without mascara, so I didn't use it. Alice and Rose had taken me shopping for an outfit. Of course, with them there, I came home with an entire new wardrobe instead of just a few things. I had narrowed it down to three different outfits, and then finally settled on a lilac, strapless, cocktail dress with ruching and a scalloped hem. It had three white flowers at the empire waist, and honestly, I looked great in it. I had chosen a simple pair of lilac flats to match. After searching through my jewelry box, I came across a choker and bracelet to match the dress. I thought they would be proud of me.

I dropped Cormac off at Alice's house and headed to the gallery. I had everything already set up, but I still wanted to go beforehand and make sure all was in check. I was a bundle of nerves, my hands were shaking, and my heart rate was through the roof. I knew that if Edward was here, he would be able to calm me down. He would know exactly what to say.

So, I thought of him. I thought about what he would say. I imagined he was here beside me, rubbing calming circles on my back like he used to do. I imagined him kissing me softly beneath my earlobe and whispering soothing words in my ear. For a moment, I actually thought he was there but when I turned around there was nothing.

I looked at my watch and jumped up. It was almost time for people to be arriving. I had been sitting down for almost an hour thinking of Edward and time had flown by. I ran about fixing things up. I had arranged for a table and a few chairs to be set up for the younger children that would be attending. They would be able to color or play with the few toys that were available.

Ryan, a colleague, entered and stared in awe around him. He turned around and even stared up at the ceiling.

"Wow, Bella. This is amazing," he said softly in his English accent.

"Thanks Ryan. Is there anything you want?"

He shook his head, as if he was waking up from a dream. "Um, yeah. There's a huge crowd outside right now. Should I start letting them in?"

I took a deep breath, straightened my dress and nodded to him. "Yes. It's now or never."

Ryan opened the huge double doors, and the crowd started spilling in. They stared and stared. Some pointed, while many children gasped in awe. After a while, they broke away into little groups and gathered around each of the displays. I couldn't help but feel a little disappointed with the pictures, because _he _wasn't in them, but it was what I expected. Most of the people couldn't take their eyes of the ceiling, and I was glad, because that was my favorite part. Those photos were the most precious. They held the best memories.

Everyone offered their congratulations while I mingled with the crowd. I was just passing the kids corner when I noticed a small girl sitting on her own. She was only a toddler, about 3 years old. She was gabbling away. I realized she was introducing herself to thin air. I stood still and listened some more. She then started to hum an all too familiar tune. In fact, it was one that I couldn't get out of my mind for the past few months. I smiled to myself and walked on. I knew that he was here. He said he wouldn't miss it, and he wouldn't dream of breaking a promise. Even just knowing he was there helped me relax. I closed my eyes and sighed, listening to the tune.

I whispered, "Thank you," into the air. I just needed him to know that I understood and that I was thankful for everything he had done for me.

I know he would hear.

* * *

**Epov**

Walking into the exhibition hall, I didn't know what to expect. I knew it would be wonderful, but I never expected this. Hundreds of pictures were displayed across the walls but the best part was the ceiling. Bella had the pictures from the Delta Aquarids blown up to cover the ceiling, so now it looked like there was an actual meteor shower happening inside the room. The pictures from our days out were there: Cormac jumping among the butterflies, Bella dancing along with him, a lone candlelit table on the beach with its tablecloth blowing in the breeze. They were all there. All the time we spent together. Each one a moment in time that I would never forget. Of course, I wasn't there. Well, I was, but one just couldn't see me. I mean, if one can't see me in real life, then how can one expect to see me in a photograph?

Bella was there, looking as beautiful as ever. Her dress was beautiful. It accented her curves beautifully. Her hair shone in the light coming in from the windows. She looked happy, but uncomfortable in this surrounding. I wanted her to know I was here, supporting her. I could still support her even if she couldn't see me, right?

My entire family came today to see Bella and support me. They knew I wanted to be here. There was a little girl sitting beside herself on the floor. Kim went down to sit beside her on the floor. They started to talk to each other, and Kim started to hum my tune which in turn the little girl copied. I saw Bella pass by the little girl. I was sure she had paused to listen to the girl talking to Kim. When they started humming the tune, Bella had moved on, but I was nearly sure she had smiled to herself. Did that mean she understood? Did that mean that Bella knew I was here to support her? I had to find out. I followed her closely around the room. She seemed much more relaxed than when I first saw her. She stopped by a window and stood by herself, watching the crowd. I saw her sigh and whisper, "Thank you," into the air.

I knew then that she understood. She was letting me know that she understood everything. She wasn't angry. She wasn't going to hold it against me.

Life is all about meetings, greetings, and goodbyes. You meet people, greet them and you say goodbye to them all but sometimes there are people who you meet and they make a mark on your life, on your soul. I knew Bella had certainly done that. In my line of work, one wasn't supposed to have favorites, but Bella… Well, Bella was better than coloring. Bella was better than football. She was better than chicken sandwiches.

Out of everything, she was by far my favorite.

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After heading back to HQ that day, Carlisle called me into his office. On his desk were piles of large books, most of them laying open.

"Please, sit," he said, pointing to the seat in front of his desk. He sat himself down in his large leather chair, and rested his head in his hands.

"Edward," he started. "This is very difficult for me. I don't know where to start, to be honest."

"What is it, Carlisle?" He was starting to worry me.

"I'm afraid that I lied to you, Edward. I lied to you about something extremely important."

"What exactly did you lie about?" I was confused. What reason would he have to lie to me?

"If you could be with Bella, for real, what would you do to get that?" he said warily, as if he was scared of my reaction.

"Anything. Anything that it takes. I would do it," I said confidently. There was no question about it. Bella was my life. She always would be.

"I thought you would say that, but I had to be sure. I don't want you throwing away this chance for you only to regret it later."

"What chance?" My voice held some hope. He couldn't really be about to say what I thought he was. Could there really be a chance for me to be with Bella? If so, then why hadn't he told me earlier?

"There is a way for you to be with Bella and Cormac."

"What? How?"

"You become a human."

"But, how? Why didn't you tell me this before?" There were so many questions to be asked, and it was all so confusing.

"I didn't tell you this before because I wanted to make absolutely sure that you really and truly loved Bella. I wanted to be sure that you would have no regrets."

"B-but, you said that there was no way for you and Sarah to be together so why now is there a way for Bella and I?"

"I lied." He shrugged his shoulders. "Sarah and I did discover this. It's written in these books. I wanted to be human and stay with her, but she told me not to. She knew that there were so many other people I could help. I would also be separated with my family, and she couldn't bear me hurting because of her. So she made the decision for me."

"She chose for you to stay here," I stated.

Carlisle nodded his head and sighed heavily.

"I wouldn't be able to see you or Esme or any of the gang anymore. I wouldn't be able to see my family."

Carlisle nodded his head again. "I'm afraid that yes, that is true." We were both silent for a while. "Look at it this way, Edward, you can make a new family with Bella and Cormac, and we'll always be there, just to keep an eye on you."

I smiled lightly and looked at him. There were tears in his eyes. "So, Edward, what will it be? Do you want to stay here with us or be human with Bella? Although I think I know the answer already."

"Yes, Carlisle, I want to be with Bella."

"Right, well, I'll get I.T. to make you a history, birth certificate, licenses etc. I suppose you'll want to say goodbye to everybody before leaving."

I went over to him and hugged him. "I'm going to miss you, son," he whispered.

"Thank you, for everything."

Joy filled me, filled every nook and cranny of my being. I couldn't believe this is happening. I was actually going to get the chance to live my life with Bella and Cormac.

* * *

**A/n **Hey guys! I know it's not the greatest chapter and I don't know if the thing with the ceiling at the exhibition is practical but I thought it sounded cool. lol The next chapter is of course the last one. I just want to say that I had so much fun writing this story and I don't think I'd ever have gotten it finished without all the support you guys offered me by reviewing. This has definitely been one of my best stories and I never even dreamt that I would ever get as many reviews that I have gotten for this. So thanks guys. It is much appreciated.

This week as been pretty awesome. My school was holding a variety show on Friday and I was singing in it with my friend. I sang Angel by Sarah McLaughlin, First Cut is the Deepest by Sheryl Crowe and the I sang Wherever you will go by The Calling with my friend Liz. Our friend Jason played the guitar and I must say he did an amazing job. When I went on stage to sing my first song, the backing track never came on for ages so I was standin there looking like a freak. Then a few people started to wolf whistle and that set the crowd to giggle a little bit which made me laugh. All in all I was not amused but then the music came on and all was okay. I thought it was funny at the time, it was only later that I thought it was embarassing. lol

Okay guys you know the score by now. Review and all that. The quicker you review the quicker I'll post the last chapter but is that a good thing or a bad thing. Hahaha!!!

Helen =]


	26. A Familiar Face

**A/n **Hey guys!!!! This is the last chapter. Can you believe it? I posted the first chapter on the 1st of January and now it's May. Wow!!! My longest running story EVER!!!!! I would really, really love it if everyone who reads this would review it. It would mean a lot to me. I know it probably won't happen but it would be amazing if it did. Even just a few words like "Loved it," or "Hated it," would be awesome! =]**

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**If You Could See Me Now.**

_I do not own Twilight or Cecelia Ahern's If You Could See Me Now. This is my version using Twilight characters. I have changed the storyline but incidents that occur may seem similar to those that happen in the book._

**_Chapter 26: A Familiar Face._**

**Bpov**

The rain was plummeting down, falling in sheets from the sky. There was a steady "_tap, tap, tap_" rhythm as it hit the kitchen window. The sky was a dull gray. The sun was straining to shine through the clouds. Overall, it was a typical day in Forks. I was standing in the kitchen, making enchiladas as dinner for Cormac and I, when he popped his head around the door.

"Mom," he called, "there's someone moving in across the street."

"Really?" I turned to him. "How about we go see them after dinner? Welcome them to the area and all that."

His face brightened. "Okay." He walked out the door. As he shut it, I heard him mumble something, but all I could catch were the words "wonder" and "dog." I laughed. Cormac really loved dogs. His birthday was coming up, and a dog could be a good idea as a gift. I decided to take him to the animal shelter next week to let him pick one out.

After putting the dinner on, I went around the house, tidying, vacuuming, and polishing until it was ready.

"Cormac, dinner's ready." I went into his bedroom, where he was sitting staring out the window. I stood beside him and looked, too. He was watching the people moving in next door. Well, actually, from what I could see, it was only one person. I thought it was a man because all the people I could see were men. I assumed that one of those people was my new neighbor. I'd have to investigate further later. He, whoever _he _was, seemed to be fairly well off. There was a shiny, new, silver Volvo parked in the driveway.

I stood there for a few more minutes and finally found my new neighbor. He was pretty tall, but I couldn't make out any facial features, because he had the hood from his jumper up to save him from the rain. Man, what a day to choose to move house. I felt sorry for them. Maybe later I'd bring over some soup and sandwiches in case he felt poorly.

"Mom, didn't you say that dinner was ready, like, twenty minutes ago?"

_Crap!_ I rushed down the stairs to find the enchiladas burnt to a crisp. I sighed, scraped the contents into the bin, and soaked the dish in water. After rummaging through the fridge for something to eat, I finally came up with salad, a cooked chicken from the shop, and some leftover soup from yesterday. I guessed it would have to do. Chicken soup and a light salad. I heated some of the soup for Cormac, and then left the remaining to bring over next door later. I also made a few chicken sandwiches.

After our dinner, I told Cormac to do his homework before we went over to visit our new neighbor. It was about five o' clock. That was not too late to visit, was it?

Walking across the street, I thought about how he might react. What would I do if I had just moved in and someone came knocking offering me soup and sandwiches? Well, I didn't know what I'd think, to be honest, since I'd never actually been in that situation.

I rang the doorbell and waited for an answer.

"Mom, if he has a dog, can I play with him?"

I looked down at my son. "Shh, we have to see if he has a dog first."

"I'm sorry, but I don't," a velvety voice answered. A very familiar voice, I might add. Too familiar. I looked up sharply and my eyes widened.

_It couldn't be._

It was Edward, but it couldn't be _my _Edward. This was just some Edward lookalike, who also just so happened to sound like him and even smell like him. I couldn't help myself, but I had to breathe in deeply to familiarize myself with that beautiful scent of his. This Edward was the double of my Edward. The same disheveled bronze locks that fell into his eyes, the same emerald pools for eyes, even the same blue converse he always wore. This had to be some sort of dream. It couldn't possibly be real.

"Hi, I'm Edward." He held out his hand and I took it. As his skin touched mine, I could feel the same tingle run through my body, setting my nerves on fire. An obvious shiver ran down my spine, and I blushed at my reaction. The clone Edward just smirked at my blush, and winked.

"I'm… uh… Bella." Great now I couldn't even form a sentence properly. "We brought you some soup and sandwiches. I thought you might like some because we were watching you earlier. I mean… I wasn't watching you. I saw you… earlier, that is, while you were moving. It was raining and…" I just trailed off and blushed even deeper.

"Well, that was very nice of you. Why don't you come in, I'll heat this up, and you all can have some." He smiled gently at me.

"Thanks, but we already had our dinner. I brought you some soup and chicken sandwiches. Is that okay?" His face seemed to fall a little, but a second later it was the same dazzling smile that made my knees go week. My Edward always smiled like that.

"Well, come on in anyway, and thanks. Chicken is by far my favorite." He smiled and winked again.

This man couldn't possibly be my Edward. I mean, for one thing, other people could see him. Unless there was some way for people like him to be… um… normal. I wanted to stay with this man for another while. Even if he wasn't my Edward, he was proving to be a great substitute.

"Thanks." He stood aside and let us pass. Cormac, who had been quivering on the spot during the entire conversation, ran right past him and into the house.

"Thanks, Edward. It's great to see you again," he yelled, laughing.

"No problem, Mac!"

_Wait!_ How could he know Cormac's nickname, unless, of course, he really was my Edward? But that wasn't possible. I was slowly starting to think that maybe this could be real, but if that were so, then I was extremely confused. If this were real, then why could everyone see Edward now and not before?

"Come on in, Bella." He offered his hand again and gently pulled me inside. He slowly pulled me to him, and I froze. I didn't know this man. He may look like my Edward, he may sound like him, but there's just no possible way he could be _my_ Edward.

"Shh, Bella," he whispered, "it's okay. It's me. Really!"

I wanted to believe him. Really, I did, but it just seemed so impossible. He started to hum something. A very familiar tune. The one neither Cormac nor myself could get out of our minds since we met Edward. The same one the little girl had been humming at the exhibition. It was my tune, my lullaby.

"Oh, and Bella, your exhibition was amazing," he whispered again before smiling at me.

I stared at him. I stared deep into his eyes, searching for something. I didn't know what exactly, but I knew that when I found it, I would know what it was. I didn't find anything, and I was so blissfully happy. I didn't find one trace of a lie, not a hint of a joke.

This was real. Edward was here before me. He was here, and I was in his arms.

As his lips found mine, I felt I was going to be smothered by the exhilaration and joy running through my veins. We fitted together perfectly, like two pieces of a puzzle, two halves of the same whole. He was as much a part of me as I was of him, and nothing was ever going to separate us again.

"Welcome home, Edward."

"Glad to be here, love."

Everything was perfect, although I knew it couldn't stay like this forever. We would have difficult times ahead, but every relationship does. We would deal with them together, as a family. Our family: Edward, Cormac, and I.

**A/n Alrighty guys! That is it. It's finished. C'est fini! Ta se criochnaithe! **

**I want to thank everyone who read this, reviewed it, added it to favourtie story/story alert and who added me to favourite author/author alert. It's really means a lot to me. I'm going to say this again, I would love it if everyone would review this chapter. **

**Keep an eye out for my new story A Memory From A Dream.**

**Summary:**1709-Isabella DeSwannes fell in love with Edward Cuilleno. 2009-Edward Cullen meets the mysterious Bella Swan, a girl he's only just met yet has dreamt about for years. Why does he feel a connection with her and how does she know so much about him? AH/AU

**Anyway that is all I've got to say! I really hope you liked the last chapter. I suppose I should say there wil be no epilogue. **

**Slan! Arrividerci! Au revoir! Ciao! Dos Viadanya! Goodbye.**

**Helen/Hen/Charms - I call myself Charms now and that's all thanks to Leon McFrenchington. Hahaha! lol**


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